<p>em-that card is great. I would frame it.</p>
<p>I hope I get a card from D, but I don’t know.</p>
<p>emg: what a beautiful note!
We all have to check in on Sunday and wish each other a virtual wonderful Mother’s Day! (Shawbridege and other dads welcome, too.) I need to plan something good to do on that day besides missing my Mom.
Dd 1 is 3,000 miles a way and in the midst of writing 5 papers this week, and Dd2 is cramming for AP tests, so I have very low expectations! A nice phone call from one, and a card from the other would be just perfect.
This reminds me I have several friends who have recently lost their Moms, and I’m not sure if their kids will be home yet or not on Sunday. I need to plan something!</p>
<p>EMG – what a lovely note. They are such treasures – I have a real treasure chest where I keep all of them, from the handprint in pre-school to the ones with pounds of glue and glitter from later on. They’re such a pleasure to take out an look at, especially when she’s so far away.</p>
<p>50isthe new40 – I remember how strange it felt the first year Mother’s Day rolled around and I didn’t need a card. It would be very nice to remember your friends that day. I didn’t realize how much it would mean.</p>
<p>D doesn’t get home until May 18, so she won’t be here for Mother’s Day.</p>
<p>S who is a sophomore in hs will sing at the annual show choir concert, which is held every year on Mother’s Day. Went for the first time last year, when the new members were introduced. Last year as a new member he just sang one song and served punch at the reception, but the singers serenade their moms and give them roses. Everyone was sobbing (both kids and moms) and all I could think of is “I will have to do this for the next three years!” I cry easily so I’m not looking forward to it. At least he’s not a senior yet; those moms and kids are crying the most!</p>
<p>well got <em>the naked room</em> cleared out. That is what my S calls it (in reference to “Failure to Launch”) I just tell him he has NO idea! </p>
<p>His plane is about over our heads right now. 20 minutes and he will land, then catch a small plane back this way. Last time, they sent it back because they could not land due to fog. Looks like clear skies tonight so far.</p>
<p>Have a happy MDay everyone. I’m away for tomorrow and the weekend, back late Sunday. Maybe H will have talked S into doing something nice for me. A card at least…maybe…</p>
<p>The first real grade came in: another C in a course Son should have aced. Remember the class last term where he got a C because he didn’t remember to do the online quizzes? Identical thing here - he was supposed to do regular blog posts - didn’t do them, even though they were written down and color coded. This is exactly (EXACLTY) where the academic coach that we requested could have helped.</p>
<p>This is all so exhausting. Once I read about some mom who went to college with her D all four years; the D had physical limitations that would have prevented her from going otherwise. I don’t know how people like that do it; I’m so tired of this and I haven’t really done a thing but worry.</p>
<p>I actually told Odessagirl that I would like a card for Mother’s Day. Since I didn’t get one for my birthday, and I was a little bit hurt.</p>
<p>:sends missypie hugs.
Just so you know, I had a friend with an LD kid who went to university with him to prove it could be done. (She also had trouble in school as a kid.) She took a different program so they didn’t exactly run into each other on campus aside from occasional lunches, etc., but it sure motivated him when “dumb” mom was kicking butt with high Bs and As when exams rolled around. I swear that’s what got him through. (She enjoyed it too.)</p>
<p>Not that I am suggesting you go back to school with son. Just thought it was cute.</p>
<p>And on the ray of hope front, McSon had a class like that, but in the end was triumphant b/c the LD dept at his state flagship had a grownup meet with him every week and do a VISUAL map of what needed to be done then, training his brain to map it out and confirming his progress. Happily suprised that she has offered to continue this weekly support next year. So with a different support system at a different school, it is entirely possible to triumph (not that it wasn’t a cliff hanger right to the final exam. Somehow mr. D+ in that class ended up at a B+ because of a curve and a whack of extra credit from stuff he did to make it all up at the end.)</p>
<p>missypie, sorry to hear that news. I am feeling frustrated and exhausted as well. </p>
<p>S2 loves to blame other people when he fails to perform. I’m not the least bit sympathetic, so then he gets mad at me. Bottom line is we require him to maintain a 3.0 GPA for us to pay any tuition. If he doesn’t have that by the end of summer, he isn’t going back in the fall. H says no community college either. He will have to get a job and support himself somewhere other than at home to mature. </p>
<p>He apparently locked his cell phone charger in somebody’s storage unit (who has already left) so will have no cell phone the week he is home. Happy mother’s day.</p>
<p>Got a call from D last night around 9PM. She crying and whining saying that there was a party in the quad below her window and she couldn’t get to sleep. 9PM!!! What a princess!! H got on the phone and told her that classes are over, stop complaining and go out and have a good time.
Now my D has always been a hog for sleep but I thought her behavior was ridiculous. Thank god she was in a single this year. I feel sorry for her roommates next year. Sheesh!</p>
<p>Sorry to hear all of this. </p>
<p>Missypie, all through high school I struggled with S having to do the “routine” work - the class that required blog posts, the homework that was “checked” for points but not graded; in college he couldn’t/wouldn’t do the online language lab so of course those were lost points; journal entries that weren’t graded but part of the points for a grade; I totally sympathize. After dropping several classes and a GPA that finally “qualified” him for additional services, I had to wonder why do kids have to get to that point? </p>
<p>Analyst, hope S2 makes it through. D thinks her exam went well last night, so here’s hoping. I think she prepared very well though. Now on to Physics.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>That is why I had hope that Son would actually do better in college than in HS. I thought that there wouldn’t be the out of class homeworky things that cost him points in HS. I’ve always thought Son would do well in law school - one three hour essay exam to determine your entire grade.</p>
<p>In other news, another of the suitemates isn’t coming back. I guess that if you want to be a music major, you audition at the end of freshman year to get into the music school and this kid didn’t make it. So out of the original 4, only one is returning. I feel sorry for that kid, too - his “group” and his roomates will be gone next year.</p>
<p>
My S recently got a C in a course he should have had an A in, also. He was inconsistent about turning in hw assignments, didn’t go to labs, and often missed lectures. However, he clearly understood the material, and did well on the tests. The prof told me that she felt bad about giving him the C, when he deserved an A. She said that most students don’t do well on the tests, and she provides the “busywork” and “attendance” grades (her words), to help them boost their course grade. In his case, his grade was dragged down.</p>
<p>Yep, the story of Son’s life. The missing blog posts weren’t graded - it was just a completion thing…</p>
<p>The interesting thing is that my D is the opposite…she manages decent grades in her AP classes soley due to binder checks, homework grades, etc. Her test grades - not so great.</p>
<p>End of the school year, and many of us are still struggling in one way or another. It reminds me again about how lucky we are to have this forum for support.</p>
<p>Mother’s Day was always my two brothers and our kids having a brunch for my mom. She’s been gone five years now, and the last time I saw her was Mother’s Day. My SIL who was more my S than an IL died after a wretched four year battle with cancer two years to the day after my mom, and the last time I spoke to her was on Mother’s Day too…the day is very bittersweet. Hopefully S will come through with a phone call. </p>
<p>Here’s to us and all the love and support we give our kids, and to our moms for all they did!</p>
<p>{{hugs }} to cpeltz and missy pie (and anyone else who needs a hug today ;))</p>
<p>cpeltz - what a double whammy. I’m sorry. I do hope you hear from S on Sunday.</p>
<p>
yeah, but those weren’t ordinary worries and you kept asking for and being promised help, and it didn’t materialize. you did a lot more than worry, missypie.</p>
<p>so apparently my friend and I are the only parents in America who didn’t drive a gazillion hours to help our little darlings pack up and move out. in my case, instead of rounding up boxes, finding a storage place, and arranging transportation (I could do all that at her age and I thought it would be a good learning experience), my darling D called someplace called “College Boxes” who delivered the boxes to her and scheduled an appointment to come pick up her stuff! all at some exorbitant price I’m sure, which D couldn’t remember exactly…</p>
<p>in my friend’s case she is getting hourly panicky calls from her D, and is feeling like the worst mother in the world. sigh. very little EDM going on in our neck of the woods.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear everyone’s bad news. We kind of don’t pay attention to Mother’s Day here, but Happy Mother’s Day to all. I hope you get cards and flowers from your kids, and I hope those of you celebrating with your own mothers have happy brunches or dinners or whatever celebration you have.</p>
<p>That reminds me to call my own mother on Mother’s Day. She’s having a rough time with her sister, whose developing dementia and a fall resulted in hospitalization. Aunt Lonely is confused and unhappy in the hospital. She doesn’t understand why she is there and wants to go home. Since she never married and has no interests or friends, she expects my mother to dance attendance on her. How do you help someone who is demented and never had any hobbies before? I’m sending her a card with pictures of me and Fang Jr.</p>
<p>So sorry to hear bad news. I’m thinking of you all…</p>
<p>I’m new to the forum and stumbled on your story concerning your DS. I ask these next questions as I have a DD with a slight learning disability and ADD. With medication she “performs” beautifully in school, but I struggle with what is best for her long term. Her success comes at a price. I am not trying to ask this question to create controversy, or question your choices for your son. I ask b/c I truly am trying to guide my child towards a happy and self sufficient life. I’m just not sure what that should be. I respect how you have guided your child in his endevours and I’d honestly like your opinion. </p>
<p>So, as delicately as I can put this: I understand your son is smart but has difficulty following the “rules” required to get good grades. He is attempting to get a college eduction, but requires support to do so, a coach per see. What kind of “work” do you see him doing in the future? How will he support himself in his major? Employers look for employees that can “do the work”. Is his goal to get an education for a future career, or is that not the goal? </p>
<p>Additional background: I have a family member who was “smart” enough to go to college, go to law school and graduate. He actually did well is school given some support because he had learning differences. Now, however, he’s an adult, passed the bar only after YEARS of trying and passing small sections at a time and whatnot. He also can not work as a “traditional” attorney. Attornies get paid by the hour, and the bottom line is that he just takes longer to do the same amount of work as others. As an adult, he is extremely frustrated b/c he is “smart” enough, but he lacks the skills that would allow him to actually work successfully in his field. He has to work sooooo much harder than his peers and in the end, his work product is lacking. His parents spent hundred’s of thousands on his education, but in no way is he recouping those costs. He is frustrated with how his life is going. I wonder, as I wonder about my daughter, if the “just because you can doesn’t mean you should” rule applies to my family members. If different goals had been set for my family member would he be happier? Should I guide my DD to different goals as well based on her “life skills” rather than her accademic abilities? </p>
<p>I’m asking you because you are an enganged and thoughtful parent. You obvioulsy deal with these questions for your son. What is your “take” on this?</p>