<p>H and I are going to an event tonight, and this morning S told me “that’s where our prom is going to be next year”. He doesn’t have a girlfriend, but like FAP’s S, he socializes in groups with girls. He has never wanted to go to a school dance, so I asked if he was even planning to go. “Of course - it’s prom!” It would be nice to see him dressed up for a change…</p>
<p>I have no idea what the other senior activities are. I’m plugged into the academic side of his school, but I haven’t a clue, other than what I read in the HSA (Home and School Association) newsletter about the social side. I’m only a semi-helicopter parent. :)</p>
<p>Jackief - I’m not a New Englander, but we have Filene’s Basement here in NY too. But I don’t believe we have the “running of the brides” sales event here. I’ve seen it featured on the news a few times though. Good for you, snagging that $175 dress! I’ve heard David’s Bridal has $99 dresses, though I’ve never been there, and I’ve heard that they sell prom dresses there as well. While I’m glad I won’t have to shell out any money for dresses/shoes/etc., this year, I’m going to miss that bonding time with D. </p>
<p>vp - does your D have prom this year? Wonder if my D’s school is the only one not to have a junior prom?</p>
<p>About senior activities - I’m sure I don’t have a complete list - but I know there’s a senior trip (a weekend), prom and the after-party. I don’t believe there’s any group senior project, though that’s an interesting idea. Probably a few other fun events, but I haven’t heard much about them.</p>
<p>I’m in the middle of prom-dress shopping with D2. Never a lot of fun for me, since I’m not one to enjoy all the girly-girl primping. (I’m more a jeans and sweatshirt kind of mom – I sometimes wonder where my D’s learned to enjoy dressing up). </p>
<p>I’m willing to pay up to $150 for the dress, anything more than that will be D2’s responsibility. (I can handle minor alterations.) She works and has money saved, so if she wants a $300 dress she can do it…but it’s amazing how her expensive tastes change when it is her money on the line! Alas, I cannot convince her to wear either of the two prom dresses hanging in D1’s closet.</p>
<p>D1 got home from college last night for Spring Break. That gets me off the hook for dress shopping.</p>
<p>DD has expressed no interest in going to the prom this year (our prom is a Junior Senior event). After reading the above, I am not about to push the issue 300-500 for a dress??? Wow… my wife didn’t pay that for her wedding dress (although that was 24.5 years ago)</p>
<p>we have one prom as I described earlier. LIMOM, the other Filene’s Basements are not at all like THE Filene’s Basement, sadly shuttered now in downtown Boston, home of the automatic markdown. I have a very early memory (around 3yo) of being there with my mother and grandmother waiting for the gates to open one day.</p>
<p>I went to four proms in my day. My boyfriend was one year older than me when I was a Soph I went to his Jr Prom (large high school, separate proms) the next year we went to two a month apart, and then when I was a Senior I went with a boy as friends. I don’t know how many total dresses I had, I think three, and I remember buying the two for one year around $30 each.</p>
<p>S2 and I visited St. Mary’s MD last summer. It’s a state honors LAC, about 1900 kids. Campus is gorgeous. They are heavily recruiting IB students (with $$ and accelerated placement). Does not have S’s intended major but, as he would have to do at several other LACs he’s considering, could create something interdisciplinary. Nearest town is about 10 miles away. We had a one-on-one tour with a student, who said there was a new Chipotle opening in the nearest town and people were really excited about that. That gave me pause. </p>
<p>S was concerned that there didn’t seem to be anything that brought students together (except partying). Because it was summer, he didn’t get to sit in on classes or talk to profs. I think he’d need a car, which we have said does not come with our EFC. On the other hand, he would be competitive for merit $$, so that might be something we could negotiate. Will he apply? Not sure yet.</p>
<p>We know a young man who is a senior there this year who has taken advantage of everything they have to offer, has gotten good summer internships and last I heard is now applying to med school.</p>
<p>D and I had a fun, but stressful, time getting her ready for prom a few years ago. Kinda glad we don’t have to go through that again. S. will be going to prom this year, although he has no idea who he will take. The kids here all have big groups of friends and just trade around dates for each dance that comes up. The kids here aren’t supposed to really pair up as bf-gf, so many kids do not go to a dance with the same person more than once. Sort of strange, but it’s been okay for S. He feels he has to go to prom “because it’s my junior prom”, although all students can attend…</p>
<p>He already owns a tux, so at least we don’t have to rent, except for vest and tie.</p>
<p>OK, here is my dilemma. It should be a good way to boost post counts, if you have any suggestions.</p>
<p>As I mentioned a few pages ago, D wants to leave her magnet IB program and go to her home school. The work load is overwhelming, she has headaches all the time, doesn’t get enough sleep, etc. Her grades are still good, but since she decided she is OVER it, the grades are slipping a bit. </p>
<p>I talked to the GC yesterday who was less than helpful. I was so angry. She basically said that she sees a lot of kids at this point that want to drop out, they can move to a lower program or change schools. She says she is taking 7 college level classes, so of course the workload is intense. Some kids do not thrive on such a workload, some do. She has some tips and suggestions that she gives kids who want to leave to help reduce some of the stress. HOWEVER, she said she would be unable to meet with D for the next 2 weeks because they are starting FCATs!! WHAT? I was really pi**ed. I asked her if she really thought it was appropriate to put off a student who was in crisis for 2 weeks??? She is just like “sorry, it is testing time.” Please. And then she has spring break for 2 weeks after testing. I would like to see this resolved for D before spring break. The best she could do is tell D to try to find her at lunch. </p>
<p>I am thinking of calling the home school’s guidance dept. on Monday and see what kind of response I get from them, as they are in FCAT testing as well. I hope they are more encouraging. </p>
<p>Would you have her leave to the home school after spring break, or wait til the end of year and go there next year? It would not be a question, I would have her stick it out til the end, but don’t want to jeopardize the GPA. </p>
<p>Let me know what you all think. In as many posts as possible please.</p>
<p>Not sure what FCATs are - but it seems to me that the GC has her priorities mixed up. I think I would call her again on Monday and ask for her to spend 10 minutes with your student either before school or at the end of the day - that way it wouldn’t interfere with testing. </p>
<p>As for dropping now, I assume that your student is 2/3rd of the way through the year - at least at my DD school the transcript would be a mess if she were to drop classes at this point. A quick read of the student handbook should tell you if it is too late to drop without a W. Assuming that there isn’t a way out, I’d simply do everything I could to reduce the other stressful activities and help her limp through the end of the year.</p>
<p>One other thought - what about taking an incomplete in one or two of the classes and make up the work over the summer. Would that take some of the pressure off? (e.g. if there is some major paper or project that is a huge time sink)</p>
<p>FCAT is the Florida standardized testing and the schools received financing depending on their school’s results, so they really take it seriously.
The school’s terms are broken into 9 week segments, and she would be beginning a new 9 weeks after spring break. I think she could just transfer into the corresponding AP classes and drop the IB classes that would no longer be relevant.
I would like to get answers on whether this is doable so we can weigh our options with real facts, not guesses.</p>
<p>I had an interesting interaction with my D the other day. Planning our college visits, I notice that Brown, unlike most of the other schools on her list, offers visiting juniors the opportunity to stay overnight in one of the dorms, arranged by the admissions office. So I ask my D if she would be interested. She refuses. She says she doesn’t want to deal with the partying and drinking. I tell her that it is probably okay because it would be on a Monday or Tuesday, especially since the admissions office is arranging the stay. She looks at me condescendingly and tells me that I am naive and that I have no idea what goes on in college, and that she has no wish to deal with it just yet while she is still a high school junior. She tells me that it doesn’t matter what I read on C.C, she has heard plenty from her friends who are now in college what they do all the time.</p>
<p>WhirledPeas, I sympathize with you and your D. Personally I would probably do whatever I could to decrease her stress level, even if it means switching out of IB, dropping a few classes or just letting the grades slip (or any combination thereof). From your descriptions I would consider this a major crisis and treat it as such. Grades and college are simply not that important.</p>
<p>Well my plans for looking at colleges during spring break are being severely limited by discovering that I need to represent a client at a zoning board meeting on the Tuesday evening of that week. I’ve also got friends who want to meet in NY on that Friday. GRRR.</p>
<p>WhirledPeas, I agree with vicariousparent, and i would do what I could to lower the stress level. My D. was a very tightly wound perfectionist in high school and the stress made her sick several times, especially senior year. I hated seeing her like that and wished we could have done something differently. But she refused to drop out of any APs or change anything in her schedule because she believed it would look very bad on he college apps.
Since you say your D is “over it” I’m assuming that you mean she has mentally moved on and is no longer giving the IB program her all. If she is so stressed and unhappy that she is having headaches all the time, I would pull her out of IB and help her to find a healthier path.</p>
<p>BengalMom - my D sounds a lot like your D. It’s not really her courseload that gives her the problems though (once in awhile, but not for the most part) - it’s usually her ECs, mainly sports. She’s very involved, and has leadership roles in several different areas, and someone or something is always begging for her time - and she doesn’t want to give anything up. In fact, every time I turn around, it seems there’s something new added! And she does get sick quite often, mainly headaches and stomachaches which are both commonly caused by stress. She has only taken off 1 full day since elementary school, but I’ve had to pick her up part-way through the day on several occasions the past two years. The one day off, was when she had a sinus infection the week she took the SAT back in Dec., so that was different.</p>
<p>whirledpeas - I really don’t know how to advise you. Obviously, your D needs out of that school - but before taking her out, find out the ramifications of making the switch to your local school - then give your D the option about whether to finish the year where she is or switch after the break. Good luck, whatever you decide to do.</p>
<p>LIMOM, your D is a very busy girl! My D had some ECs that took some time (one especially – nationally ranked Model UN team), but no sports. I don’t know how some of these kids that play a sport or two or three get their school work done satisfactorily. </p>
<p>My D was just such a perfectionist that she always had at least 99% in every class. She had no fun her senior year, just worked all day every day. But her freshman year in college was much better and actually easier than her senior year in HS. She actually had a life! :)</p>
<p>BengalMom - agree - the sports really are all-consuming! D has a few other things that take up a huge amount of time as well, but those are only at certain times of the year, or maybe for one week out of each month. The sports are everyday, because even when she has a week or two off, she still runs for at least an hour everyday, weather permitting. The snow definitely gave her some downtime, if it was good for nothing else. </p>
<p>Your D had great grades, BTW, and she must have worked very hard for them. D’s grades are similar, though she has a small handful that are slightly lower, at least while they’re unweighted. It’s really hard having a perfectionist in the family, isn’t it? They’re stress becomes your stress! And I see that D is absolutely having less fun this year than she had the past two years. She’s always had an active social life, but while she still has one, she’s just not out with friends quite as much these days as she used to be. I’m hoping that once she gets to college, she’ll find things a little easier too. Less time spent in class, and on sports should help a little.</p>
300-500 for a dress??? Wow… my wife didn’t pay that for her wedding dress (although that was 24.5 years ago)</p>