Parents of the HS class of 2010 - Original

Parents of HS Class of 20xx
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<p>Yes, LIMOM, I’m interested to see how these kids do when they’re out of the nest. We still get to come here for support and shoulders to cry on, right? :)</p>

<p>S. keeps his feelings very inside – it’s like trying to pry a walnut open to get anything out of him. He is the opposite of D in that way. And you are very right about her stress becoming my stress. I did not feel really well much of her senior either. In a way, it was a relief when she went to college (although I was also a total wreck and missed her painfully) because I knew that she would have to deal with problems by herself, or with help of friends. I knew I couldn’t help her so I didn’t stress over it as much. Strange…</p>

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<p>Your Ds sound like mine. Once she got to college, and was with lots of other kids just like her, she relaxed and started to have much more fun. While she still has some stressful times (mostly during midterms and finals), she’s having a 1000% better time in college than she did in HS. And the perfectionism has simmered down to plain old drive and ambition, which is serving her very well.</p>

<p>S is very different - a fairly relaxed kid who just wants to have a good time with his friends. There are days I would like to do a slight ambition transfusion…</p>

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<p>BengalMom:</p>

<p>You S sounds like mine. I’d say trying to discern his true feeling sometimes is like peeling the layers of an onion, or taking apart one of those Russian dolls to get to the tiny one in the very middle. Very time consuming some times. </p>

<p>Since I have an athlete, I’ll say what I can’t comprehend are those rare few athletes who are top notch in the sport(s) and with top notch rigor in the academic (e.g. APs across the board, etc.) My S is a much better student than he is an athlete, a true blue student-athlete. I really do appreciate the rounding the athletics gives to his personality and growth, in addition to staying very fit, that’s a given. He loves his sports and I think it provides a release to the pressure valve of the academics, especially this all important junior year.</p>

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<p>Amen, FAP about peeling the onion. My S is SO much like Jeremy in the “Zits” comic that it’s… comical! :smiley: If you wish to know my S, just read Zits. Sheesh.</p>

<p>Booklady, that is exactly how freshman year was for my D, too. She settled down and worked hard rather than trying to do everything perfectly, which would have been impossible at her college, anyway. She spent more of that energy meeting friends and having a social life. I was very happy for her.</p>

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<p>Funny how similar all our kids seem to be. I have one of those relaxed sons, Booklady. He’s only 12, but D was already pushing herself at that age, so I think it’s just their different personalities. Like your S, mine just wants to have fun with friends, so I understand a bit about wanting to do a “slight ambition transfusion” on some days.</p>

<p>And it’s so good to hear that these highly motivated kids do eventually learn to relax a bit.</p>

<p>FindAPlace, my D is like your S in that she’s a true student-athlete. Unfortunately, in her case, sports contribute the most to her stress. Not the sports themselves, but one of her coaches. He’s made her life way, way more stressful than necessary.</p>

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<p>BengalMom:</p>

<p>Oh YES, Jeremy in “Zits.” It got to be that so many of the strips were spot on at our house that I finally stopped clipping them. I will note, however, that the parent figures in the strip aren’t so much like DH and I. We do enjoy a spot of morning humor from “Zits” each morning. Even the name of the strip brings a grin.</p>

<p>LIMOMOF2:</p>

<p>Sorry to hear your D has coach stress. We’d like to share S’s with you. The water polo/swim coach has been around a very long time and has apparently learned how to coach without applying the kind of stress that the kids take home with them … at least not for my S. Then again, I might need to peel that onion …</p>

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<p>FindAPlace - D’s played on teams since first grade, and this particular coach is the only one to have caused her any stress at all - at least any stress that’s lasted more than a few minutes. And she’s not the only one - we’d been warned about him while D was still in middle school. Plus, I’ve driven enough girls home after practices to know that he gives them all a hard time.</p>

<p>Your S is lucky to have a good, well-seasoned coach who knows how to work with teens. I suspect you’d know it if he was giving the boys a hard time. D is lucky enough to have a good coach for her spring sport, so a little less stress now, hopefully. Fall was brutal! Winter wasn’t as bad - I think somebody registered a complaint about him, so he toned things down a little. I’m a little afraid about what he’ll be like in the fall though.</p>

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<p>LIMom coaches who stress out their athletes need a good smack! D’s soccer coach had her in tears so often I really just wanted to figure out a way to let him know how his treatment was having a perhaps indelible impression on his young athletes. I hope your D’s coach did get reported and that the “toning down” lasts.</p>

<p>My H is a great coach, said the lady modestly. Seriously though he is so kid centered and his heart and his head are in the right spot. I have always been proud of him on the field and I doubt the wives of some of the other coaches my kids have had can say that</p>

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<p>My DD played varsity soccer as a freshman (and started most of the games). The coach was fired after the season and the new one is such a jerk that my daughter played JV (after making the cut) last year. She had a blast, dominating most games, averaging over a goal a game from a midfielder position. </p>

<p>She decided not to play this year but then missed playing and joined the JV team a month into the season - and had another blast. She has decided (again) not to play next year - unless that coach is fired (which is unlikely even though the team was awful.</p>

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<p>scualum that’s awful. That a great athlete like your D who enjoys the sport would rather not play than play for a jerk of a coach is really very sad. I am sorry she has been put in a position to make what muct be a tough choice.</p>

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<p>It really is a shame because, given her desire to go to a smaller LAC, she probably could have continued playing in college. My guess is that she will play intermural and have a blast…</p>

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<p>Historymom - I wish D had your wonderful H as her coach! I’ll bet you wish the same for your lovely Ds! So sorry for what they went through with their soccer coach. </p>

<p>scualum - I’m sorry for what your D’s been going through as well. What a shame for your D! At least she’s had the opportunity to stay on JV. I actually tried to convince my D to give up the fall sport, but I doubt she will.</p>

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<p>Happy Daylight Savings Time everyone! CC is back up from their scheduled maintenance.</p>

<p>When my son was in AYSO, I decided to volunteer to become a referee, to keep in shape and rather than being the team “soccer Mom.” I had all kinds of experiences, good and bad. One of the better ones was the time I severely sprained my ankle. (Did she just say good experience?) Yes, because the player and fan reaction was most interesting. This was for a U 10 boys game. </p>

<p>My weak ankle found the divot in the field and I fell. I tried to get back up and run. No dice. So I blew the whistle. The players stopped, then they came around and one said, “Wow, the refs down!” The parents were wonderful. They helped me off the field, found me a chair, offered over and under the counter pain meds, ankle wraps, water, snacks, offered to call my H, etc. I was queen for awhile as I watched the rest of the game from the sidelines (another uniformed ref who was going to do the next game took over.)</p>

<p>One thing to know about AYSO around here (I think AYSO was formed around Torrance) is than some adults get really into the volunteerism. Thus, some of the coaches are also refs. I was refereeing a girls U 12 game . I always introduce myself to the coaches and noted one of them, a coach/ref, was a known trouble maker, so I told myself to keep on my toes. He jawed me some from the sidelines and I once gave him a warning but tried to ignore it. That is, until one stoppage point in the game, when I heard his irrate voice sounding much too close. Turns out he decided to come on to the field and berate one of his players.</p>

<p>So there I am, ref with authority but a small woman, marching across to this large guy. Yup, you guessed it. I told him to get off the field and the sideline, that he was out of the rest of the game. He was irrate of course. Turns out he was some higher level guy in the league and lodged a protest against my lack of skills which he claim prompted his reaction (to berate his own player by coming on the field?) I, of course, had filled my game cards with comments and wrote in a separated letter. </p>

<p>Bottom line was he got suspended for five games. I really felt for his players. I had plenty of parents, especially mothers, come up to me after the game to thank me for my actions. This guy is still around the league, since I saw his picture in the paper. I hope the leopard changes its spots.</p>

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<p>Great story and good for you, FAP!</p>

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<p>That was a really great story. It doesn’t matter whether our kids are being led (or misled) by a great/poor teacher, coach, GC, etc. If parents are not on top of things and being there for our kids when they encounter the good and the bad, then they are lacking a support system that cannot be duplicated. It takes a strong person to see the injustices being thrown at kids all the time by teachers and coaches that have lost that feeling of being in touch with the kids they are working with. I do hope your actions were a wake up call for that coach since he is still in the system. I could use you to set a couple of D’s teachers straight. Let me know if you are available.</p>

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<p>Way to go FindAPlace! I’m sure many of the parents were grateful you stood up to that bully, and probably many of the kdis, too. I’m surprised no one had turned him in before you made your comments. AYSO is meant to be so kid-friendly and supportive to the athletes, there is no place for behavior like that in the program.</p>

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<p>I was lucky to have many great mentor referees, who besides teaching me the rules of the game also imparted the great importance, especially for the kids, to maintain good control over all aspects of the game, including the adults. In my 8 years of refereeing, I didn’t have too many instances of trouble but they were all with the adults.</p>

<p>There are always supervising refs around on soccer Saturday (also to be subs if necessary), so I got to speak to a group of three of them immediately after I finished the game in the story. I was scheduled to move on to referee another game after the incident and they invited me to stand down if I wanted. I said that wouldn’t be so fair to all the other hard working refs, took a swig of Gatorade, pulled my cap back on and searched for my field. </p>

<p>As for needing to confront a teacher, mercifully I’ve never had to do so. I’d probably find it harder since I know a lot of them don’t get the respect they deserve. Also, my S has noted that being a good student that his GC knows well brings what he calls “perks.” Even though he was once assigned to an English teacher not known for her great skills (and married to a Vice Principal) S managed to convince GC to move him to another class. So, even though the “rule” is no class changes just for teacher preference, he ended up with the long time gem for English 10 honors, and again this year for AP English Language and, with any luck, next year for AP English Lit. </p>

<p>Families of underclassmen worry she may retire at any moment. She still loves her work after all these years and it shows.</p>

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<p>Sorry, I can’t keep up with this weekend’s posts. But, I just wanted to give a quick drive-by report on Batman, the puppy. We love him!</p>

<p>So far so good. We had no idea that puppies sleep so much…kinda like a human baby. Then when they’re awake, they need a lot of attention…like a human baby. </p>

<p>He was with us for 24 hours before having his first “accident.” But that’s OK. Just a little “tinkle” on the kitchen floor. Other than that, he goes outside consistently. (Even made it through the night - 10:45 to 6:30 - without messing! :slight_smile: )</p>

<p>He splashes for fun in the water bowl more than he drinks. Bedtime was rough last night. Whimpers, cries, and bawling for 22 mins. Then he slept through. </p>

<p>And, to officially keep this college-related…S completed his last full-lenght SAT practice today. The book only gave a score range of 1210 to 1370 for R + M. (previous scores were 1200, 1120 to 1260, and 1150 against a PSAT of 127 for R & M only.) Math remains “average” while Reading is still in the 700 range. Less than a week to go. We shall see…</p>

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<p>I haven’t been on in a few days; boy, is it hard to keep up!</p>

<p>Momof3Sons: thanks for the info about the fall SAT II testing dates & Princeton. I’ve forwarded that info to DD. She’s considering dropping them from her list anyway, but she’s got a little breathing room now.</p>

<p>WhirledPeas2U: I love your name :slight_smile: I replied on the other thread. Hope things settle down soon for you and your DD. </p>

<p>Re: age cutoffs. My kids started kindergarten in NJ when the cutoff age in our district was Dec. 31st. Oldest’s b-day is in September; she was no where near being the youngest in her class. We moved to TN, where the cutoff is September 30th, plus everyone holds their kids back. She is the youngest by far; as a matter of fact she knows people a year behind her in school who are older than she is. She will start college at 17, but so did my DH. I anticipate that due to AP credit she may graduate and start grad school in 3 years, so yeah, she’ll truly be the baby then :)</p>

<p>I paid for the AP tests back in November ($84 each so a total of $168.) I had to write a check out for 1/2 by then and figured that I’d just pay the whole thing. Apparently, the school bookkeeper was quite thrilled as that was one less kids she’d have to chase. I don’t think the kids are penalized if they don’t take the test; it has no bearing on their grade as they don’t get the test results back until July. </p>

<p>No prom for us. Dd’s just not a dance kid. Juniors & Seniors go to the prom (don’t know that much about it, since I don’t have to.)</p>

<p>College visit: DD & DH took a ride to Knoxville yesterday for UT’s Junior Spring Fling. They came back pretty happy; DD liked it better than she thought she would. She’d been on campus with me once and loved the library, but she got a better look at the campus yesterday. They didn’t get to see the dorms or dining halls (which was smart on UT’s part; they haven’t been updated since the 70’s) but they gave information about an event on August 22nd for Seniors when they get to see that type of stuff. Since that will be her ultimate safety school, it was good to see her come home with a positive attitude, along with an orange visor and tee :slight_smile: She has a few friends who are seniors & high achievers, and they have chosen UT so she sees in a more positive light that way also.</p>

<p>Youngest DD registers for HS on Wednesday. yay! She just had regional DI competition and her team came in 1st so they’re off to state.</p>

<p>think I’m caught up now. Enjoy the nice weather everyone.</p>

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<p>RobD - I’ve been thinking you were a dad all this time…lol.</p>

<p>Glad your DD liked UT, and congrats to your youngest DD on her team’s win! Very cool.</p>

<p>DougBetsy - Yay for Batman! And sounds like your DS is did well on his practice test, so yay for him too. It annoys me that they give those score ranges though…lol.</p>

<p>FAP - thanks for sharing those stories - yours and your son’s. I agree with you about the perks of being one of the really good students - I think it’s definitely helped D when she’s put in rquests to the GC.</p>