<p>Idinct - sorry about your son. But, maybe he is better off having 4 doctors debate what he has rather then have 1 doc make the wrong diagnosis. Hopefully, the cardiac doc can make a firm diagnosis in the morning. I hope your S is comfortable and you get some sleep. </p>
<p>Aris - I feel for your D. Has she talked to her coach? Sounds like your S is having an incredible year.</p>
<p>ldinct, healing thoughts and wishes to your son–and also to you. I hope that he’s quickly on the mend and that you can get some rest, too!</p>
<p>ldinct–hope your DS gets better quickly and is able to get back to school on time!! Hope you got some rest too!</p>
<p>mamom, sorry but I don’t remember - does your son have any executive function or ADD issues?</p>
<p>
He does. He was diagnosed with EFD at very end of his sr year in HS. I tried to get him assigned a therapist at his university, but when she looked at his test results she balked and said she didn’t understand why he (a very high IQ) kid would need help. it was almost as if she was not a professional in the field and didn’t get the whole EFD thing. I had the therapist S was seeing over the summer at home send a report and contact her and she reluctantly agreed to see S. Unfortunately a few weeks into the fall semester, she asked him how things were going he told her everything was under control. she told him to come back if he needed help. She let him drive the process. I was really mad and requested S to continue to see her, but it never happened, he was not going to admit he needed help and I think in his mind he didn’t. She wasn’t going to probe further so between the both of them all was good. I tried to find a private therapist, but was unable to find anyone online who looked like they had experience with older kids and EFD. The list the school sent me had therapist who specialized in all kinds of issues, but none of them what I was looking for. H & I have tried to facilitate from home, but it isn’t working. Without him willing to go to a therapist, I can’t be sure he isn’t having EFD issues or if it is something else. Which is another reason I am not going to get too upset if he stays home next year and goes to school local, I can make sure he is seeing someone.</p>
<p>You have probably said all this before, but I don’t read the '15 thread very often. Have you looked for an EF coach? Some schools provide them, most don’t…I have found it to be sort of like finding an unicorn.</p>
<p>Here was my experience with my '13 (at one time projected college graduating class…now, maybe '16, maybe never…) Son. He went away to an LAC freshman year. No help for him there, even though we pretty much begged. Brought him home to go to the local cc the next year. More unsatifactory results. We were so happy when a therapist who specilaized in EFD had an opening. I think that seeing the therapist just reinforced many of his EF issues…many steps backwards, with the therapist pretty much telling him that he’ll never be able to control his impulses, handle money, etc. Stopped paying for that. </p>
<p>Finally, one of my many google searches turned up an EF coach near us. Nothing touchy feely. She’s a strong woman who is into accountability and concrete results. He consults with her once a week in person or by skype. He has to check in with her every day, either by phone, text or email.</p>
<p>This is his first semester with her and I really have no idea if she is getting results. His classes are in an area he loves, and virtually all work is done in class. </p>
<p>Long post to say that you may see better results with a coach than a therapist.</p>
<p>Good luck and hugs.</p>
<p>Missypie - thank you for the suggestion. I did like his therapist at home, but unfortunately we caught the EFD so late in the game he never had an opportunity to practice what he was being taught in an academic situation. Then off he goes to school 1100 miles away. I will start searching for an EF coach today. Keep your fingers crossed!</p>
<p>ldinct–wishing you a better day today; hope all goes well and that you get some rest.
mamon - hang in there!
arisamp - congrats to S and hugs for D</p>
<p>My D has one class today and then leaves this weekend for Florida spring break with 3 girlfriends. She sounds very happy! I hope she makes wise choices and stays safe.</p>
<p>TGIF;80 and sunny in MN today. CRAZY!</p>
<p>mamom, EFD is tough. I’m sure I’ve mentioned dealing with that with my 28 year old. He did finish miraculously when he changed majors, not too much studying with math & has a great job currently but so many issues beyond that. The great job helps his money issues as he just throws money at many problems he’s created. He needed to find something he liked though.
We’ve never had a coach or anything. He has social issues & add so we’ve been addressing those. We thought he was managing with the EFD as he had gotten older, stupid us, not going to happen. </p>
<p>As far as S2, I don’t know what we are going to do if doctor says he can’t fly back to school as his car is there. ugh, one way rental & flying back is mucho expensive, but we would do what we need to. But we are thankful it doesn’t appear to be anything serious.</p>
<p>ldinct–hopefully your DS will be back on his feet and back to school. If you do need to get his car back, consider looking for a student to drive it to you. It would be less expensive and might help a student get home too! My DH did this once when in college. He appreciated the money and the ability to help someone out.</p>
<p>Idinct - sending all best for S2 and hope he’s ok to fly back as expected. Scary all around I am sure. </p>
<p>Social issues - DS defines the word introvert! He is shy and awkward socially; people can mistake him for being rude (well…sometimes he is, but usually just to me!) when he’s just being shy. DH much the same so apple/tree for sure. Question is what have any of you done to help? DS was in therapy for other issues for many years but social ones not directly addressed. Want him to feel more confident. Am reading Quiet - but guess I’m looking for some kind of coach to work with him the short time he’s here this summer. Thoughts? thanks!</p>
<p>So S got the all clear to fly, yay! And everything else is looking good.
What a week!</p>
<p>ldinct: Glad to hear your son can fly back to school! Great news!</p>
<p>ldinct: So glad to hear that your son is okay and can fly back to school.</p>
<p>Idinct - Great news! So will he be fully recovered then, or need to see a doc out at school?</p>
<p>siemom- I was incredibly shy/quiet growing up. Have overcome that to a large extent but still have issues in some situations. Based on my experience, a coach might help, but there are things he can do on his own. Little things every day that will make life easier over time. He could start by talking to one stranger every day, it could be about the weather, scenery, anything. Smile at folks he passes in the halls. He could then say hi to someone he passes on campus he takes a class with, that’s all just say hi. Then maybe he can work up to forming a study group, etc. Little steps. Have him join a club. I found I really came out of my shell when my kids were born. I did not want them to be like me. Talk to him about the worse thing that can happen when he tries to start a conversation, form a study group etc. I found it really helps to put stuff in perspective. good luck</p>
<p>Way behind here – life interferes…</p>
<p>Idinct, glad to hear your DS is fine after all that excitement!</p>
<p>mamom, I have been looking into something like this for DS2 who has ADD/executive function issues: [College</a> Success with ADHD (ADD) Coaching | Edge ADHD Coaching](<a href=“http://www.edgefoundation.org/blog/2008/11/02/college-success-with-adhd-coaching/]College”>http://www.edgefoundation.org/blog/2008/11/02/college-success-with-adhd-coaching/) I think it’s all by phone/skype/email you don’t have to find someone local. They offer a scholarship.</p>
<p>siemom, is your S unhappy with his social life? I had a lot of issues as a teen with my family trying to “fix” my introversion when I did not consider it a problem. But the therapy to “fix it” made me feel bad about myself. Make sure you are only helping him fix things <em>he</em> sees as an issue. Does he want advice on making more friends, or does he have a few and is happy with them?</p>
<p>mathmomvt- thanks for the info, I will look into it.</p>
<p>No follow up for S unless he has symptoms, which he should not. Glad the excitement is over too. </p>
<p>Now to get us both to the airport tomorrow, going in different directions but at the same time.</p>
<p>ldinct - That’s is great news!!! Glad you can have a bit of peace for a change!</p>