<p>Hugs to you and kiddo2 fogfog. I don’t know if you’re in the mood to read a long article, but this was being discussed on another thread and I found it very interesting:
[How</a> to Land Your Kid in Therapy - Magazine - The Atlantic](<a href=“http://www.theatlantic.com/magazine/archive/2011/07/how-to-land-your-kid-in-therapy/8555/1/]How”>How to Land Your Kid in Therapy - The Atlantic)
The title is a bit inflammatory, but the contents are fascinating. Despite the devastating pain your kiddo is going through, having these painful lessons now will strengthen him for future tough times. </p>
<p>I look back at some of S2’s setbacks and the (truly physical) pain he (and I!) felt, it was miserable…But with the advantage of 20/20 hindsight, I realize that those large, painful lessons have made him a much stronger person today and truly capable of overcoming large setbacks, because he KNOWS he can do it, because he’s done it before. He has the confidence and experience with adversity from high school and now in college he’s so much better off than had everything gone perfectly before.</p>
<p>It does seem unfair that we have to go through the pain with them, but I guess that’s what we signed up for when we decided to become moms. Hugs to all of us!!</p>
<p>Yalemom15 Love that article and find it so true, wish my kids had “failed more” but they are making up for it now, LOL</p>
<p>Fogfog, I can’t believe a school is so callous to penalize a kid who was so sick. With Kiddo2’s learning disabilities are you sure this is the right school for him? As great as some private schools are for one kid they may not have the resources or understanding for another kid who has different learning styles and issues. Quite frankly I’d look around. If kiddo 2 would benefit from a second year in 10th grade at a new school that could really help him figure out LD issues and maximize his learning potential it might be the way to go. Sending big hugs to you call me if you feel like chatting! </p>
<p>Housing Lottery worked out for D this year and she was standing in line for the Hunger Games! Last night when she was “stressing” about the fact that the school was considering reconfiguring her housing group (adding 2 more girls and making them a room of 7 to fit the rooms they had) I told D to chill and only worry about the things she could control. I ended my text by saying “and may the odds be ever in your favor” (a line from the Hunger Games) She texted back, "LOL Everyone here is calling the housing lottery “the reaping” (also from the Hunger games) In the end they made the boys reconfigure their room and the girls got to stick with their 5!</p>
<p>Ahhh! Drama, gotta love it. </p>
<p>MM, any news on your D’s condition. If they don’t find something soon I would have them re-visit the Lyme Disease thing, they often have false negatives on it and her symptoms sound a lot like a friend of mines who was really ill for months, popping negative for Lyme till a test finally showed positive for Lyme! (6 months after her symptoms started. Good luck you are in our thoughts and prayers!</p>
<p>Fogfog and EAO, I addressed that problem with ShawSon’s school (public) very successfully and ShawD’s school (private) with only modest success. </p>
<p>ShawSon was wont to get overwhelmed with work and push himself so hard he got sick – which combined with sleep apnea made him sick a lot. I negotiated as part of the IEP after freshman year that teachers would not require busy work. So, he didn’t do the regurgatitative assignments. Part of ShawSon’s stated strategy was to shoot for A+'s in every course in the first quarter and then to say to the teacher, “Look. I have just shown you that I can succeed on your turf. I would learn a lot more and be healthier if I didn’t have to do the busy work assignments.” And, they’d say, “OK. I won’t grade the homework. You just do the problems you need to be successful on the test and I’ll judge you on the tests only.” Alas, the English department never considered any assignments busy work, which did not make for easy life for the severe dyslexic. They also consistently violated agreements they’d made in the IEP. [So we switched to partial homeschooling and outsourced English]. </p>
<p>Some of that may be idiosyncratic, Fogfog, but, I’m wondering if you can if you can’t get the SPED folks to help you now. ShawSon’s SPED person was invaluable. In addition, perhaps you can negotiate this into next year’s IEP.</p>
<p>Incidentally, we found ShawSon’s private middle school and ShawD’s private HS were less accommodating than our very good public HS. </p>
<p>YaleMom, was the physical pain that your S2 experienced due to medical issues, learning disabilities, or something else? I may have missed that part of the thread.</p>
<p>Fog–as another parent of an LD DS2 I feel your pain. I hope all the suggestions help. I really think they should be more accommodating considering the health issues combined with the LD! It is exhausting trying to take care of your kiddo and fight the system at at the same time. </p>
<p>MM–I’m sending prayers to you and hoping you get some answers soon.</p>
<p>My DS2 is set for surgery. Not sure why they didn’t know he was on the schedule, but even when they found him on the schedule they were surprised he was there. I think maybe it was because they originally thought the surgery was going to be simpler and with local rather than general anesthesia. I pushed for a consult because I didn’t think it was going to be that easy, and I am sure glad I did! I made sure to schedule it for spring break so I’m glad it worked out. With his LD issues he really hates to miss school since it increases the homework time to make up what he missed and he spends way more time than most just to stay on top of things.</p>
<p>It’s decision day for the big ones for the 2012 parents. Lots of joy and sorrow on the horizon–Here’s wishing them smooth sailing on their journey (although I think they will be flying the coop rather than sailing a ship, since they’ve self named themselves the wackaloons!)</p>
<p>^Shawbridge: No, I probably didn’t write that clearly. He had some major disappointments that came as true surprises in high school and they were so upsetting as to make him feel almost physically affected, like a metaphorical shot to the gut. They were related to programs he applied to and didn’t get accepted, as well as some other interpersonal stuff which(I think) grew from his rather inflated opinion of himself in high school (that problem is now solved, there’s nothing like attending a college where everyone was a high school superstar to make one painfully aware that one is not “all that” :D)</p>
<p>Fogfog mentioned feeling heartbroken for her son as well as the fact that her son has been sobbing over his struggles. It sounded to me like they were feeling some of that psychic pain (unrelated to her kiddos hospital stay), that you feel when things are so bad emotionally.</p>
<p>I have felt true physical pain when my kids have had major emotional upsets, maybe that’s more of a female or maternal reaction? Don’t know, but I do know it’s no fun!</p>
<p>Yes I feel heartborken that so much is crashing down and this private hs is not sympathetic to gifted/LD kids …and the 3rd wuarter was a mess due to the illness.</p>
<p>Yesterday kiddo2 told me about a recent English test…an inclass writing prompt based ion 3 esoteric stories they read…and they were asked about the meaning of life…
The teacher loves to ask this stuff and my kid was like…“mom, one of the books starts with the guy being dead…he is dead…” </p>
<p>Kiddo is very compassionate and very insightful…he was like…"Mom, I can’t write about this and the symbols from each book and the common threads in 45 minutes.
He handed in a blank paper.</p>
<p>fogfog: I’m so sorry that your son is struggling. It sounds as if you may want to meet with the guidance counselor to see what type of support they can provide. You would hope that they would be willing to work with a motivated student to make up work after an illness-related extended absence. If this school cannot meet his needs, it seems that you might want to explore other schools that would be more supportive and provide more assistance with his learning disabilities.</p>
<p>MM, I am so sorry to hear about what your DD is going through. ++++++ for a diagnosis asap and treatment which will get her on the road to recovery. </p>
<p>Fog, +++++ to you and K2! Why in the world are kids in high school getting busy work??? </p>
<p>I would request an appointment with the headmaster, dean of students and all his the teachers and see if you can come up with an work load with no busy work!</p>
<p>Does K2 have an ISP? </p>
<p>As for housing lottery, boychild is having his own issue. At Bates, freshman space doesn’t change from year to year so those rooms are taken, Srs get first preference, followed by Jrs, so the Sophs get bottom of the barrel. On top of that boychild and the two other guys he wanted to room with had terrible numbers, so they got nothing in the lottery. He won’t know until summer where he’ll be and who he’ll be rooming with. I told him to buck up, that it’ll all work out. That’s when he said, but what if I’m in a tiny quad with 3 guys I can’t stand! So I asked him if there were a lot of kids at school he doesn’t like. He said no but that he doesn’t know everyone!!! So I asked him if he wants to transfer and of course he said no and that was the end of that ridiculous conversation.</p>
<p>My kiddo had some drama of his own because he waited pretty late to start asking his friends about blocking together, and many of them had already made plans. When he was worrying about ending up sharing a room with kids he didn’t know, I reminded him: it worked out fine this year and would work out fine again next year if it came to that. He ended up blocking with some friends who had a good lottery number but because his was one of the worst numbers and they’re not all allowed to choose singles, and the guys with the better numbers wanted the singles… he ended up sharing a double with a guy he didn’t know but who was a friend of the other friends, and he did meet him before committing, and feels ok with that. They did end up in one of his top choices of dorms, so I think overall he’s feeling good about how it all turned out.</p>
<p>EAO, were they short on rooms? Haven’t heard a word about the housing lottery -now it works etc etc.
We are flying in for Easter and so hope to get a short visit in…might get more news on how the semester has gone. We have no clue…other than recent injury.
Kiddo1 has a sports competition the Saturday between Good Fri and Easter…We will get some face time Sat night and I booked adjoining hotel rooms so k1 and k2 can bunk together near us… and Sunday we are doing brunch…
k1 has P sets etc and then a team practice call at 5:45am Monday before classes so we won’t get much time Sunday …</p>
<p>still a little is better than non–It has been since winter break…</p>
<p>Fog: I’m sorry to hear about your S2’s troubles and lack of support from his school. Glad to hear that you’ll get to visit S1 next weekend.</p>
<p>Vamom: I hope your S’s surgery goes smoothly.</p>
<p>I’m sorry to hear about all the housing woes. Sophomore year seems to be the toughest year at most schools. My D2 had some minor drama regarding roomates last week, but she worked things out. She will pick her room next week, so I’m hoping that she’s happy with what she gets. Her campus is very large and most of her classes are at one end, so her main priority is location.</p>
<p>Fog fog not short on rooms short on configuration of rooms. For example they had 6 groups of 5 kids each but only 4 rooms that would house 5. So two groups of 5 had to take more roomates to make 6,7pr 8 person suites. Will elaborate more typing this on my I phone very inefficient! Glad you are going for Easter!</p>
<p>Oh yeah, when I win the mega-millions tomorrow I was thinking it might be fun to all get together and meet each other in person for a weekend at the beach. My treat, who is in…LOL!</p>
<p>Fogfog, I have had a fair bit of experience negotiating with school systems on behalf of my bright kids with LDs. People used to say, “How come you get everything you want from the schools when my kids don’t?” Part of that was knowing to ask for things the schools could do, part by making clear that I wasn’t trying to squeeze the school for money, part by careful negotiation strategy, and part because ShawSon especially made it so easy for them to want to help. I’m happy to provide you with counsel if that would be helpful.</p>
<p>YaleMom, ShawSon told us that learning to read and learning to write were not just difficult, but both were physically painful for him.</p>
<p>Well, we are one year out from last year’s decision day and it feels good. I visited the HS 2012 thread and as you can imagine, its rather crazy over there with acceptances, rejections and waitlists. The upper tier schools admit stats appear to be tighter this year that last. Some of that change may be due to HYP reinstating their EA/ED option.</p>
<p>No countdown here but it is just 730 days until decision day for those of us with HS 2014 kiddos. :D</p>
<p>Here’s hoping and wishing all with health issues a good weekend and a quick recovery. Seems like the biggest issues at our kids schools right now is housing selection for next year and then preregistration for next fall and then finals. Our S will be home in 6 weeks. Where did the freshman year go??? **</p>
<p>Boychild will be home in less than two weeks but fortunately he has to back for the 5 week short term. Not that I don’t love him…</p>
<p>He called today, was going to a special lunch the college invites all kids who recieve Bates Scholarships to meet the alum who donations fund it. I think it’s a nice touch. </p>
<p>Then he is off to Old Port with friends so asked for a cash infusion. He doesn’t ask for much money so I happily deposited $100 into his checking account. </p>
<p>As for college acceptances, I am so glad I am one and done.</p>
<p>DS2 is home and relaxing on the couch. He was amazed that the surgery was so fast (since he was asleep). Had some bleeding and after I gave up on the gauze and used the teabag trick, it stopped quickly!!! He is in good spirits mostly due to the good drugs. </p>
<p>DS1’s dorm draw was today but I probably won’t know anything till Sun or Mon since he’s out it the woods all weekend. I’m sure it will be fine wherever he ends up.</p>
<p>I was watching the 2012 craziness. It seems like a tough year. So glad I didn’t have to do that 2 years in a row–hope those of you that did survived the process and are happy with the results.</p>
<p>A friend I met at DS1’s accepted student days had her DD accepted to the same school. We are talking about meeting up during the admitted student weekend. I can see DS and see her and maybe her DD (if she isn’t off enjoying the school). That will be nice!</p>
<p>emilybee–I can’t believe your DS is almost done with school! Where did the year go?</p>
<p>VA, he’s not really done. He has 5 week short term. Students are only required to do two short terms but the reality is Jr. year most are still abroad and Sr. yr, they just hang around until graduation in May, finish up on their thesis if they aren’t done or take a class I guess.</p>
<p>D just texted that she was offered the summer job she wanted as a counselor at our church camp. It pays $500 less than the girl scout camp paid her last summer (and she could have gone back there if she wanted to) but she seems to like this one better, the people involved, etc and has the option of the pay money being sent to her school as a scholarship instead of as a paycheck with taxes attached.</p>
<p>I will run the numbers after she gets her financial aid package and see which way is better.</p>
**</p>
</p>