<p>vlines: If there’s really no funding gap, then I say just make the kid work in summer. Congrats on the scholarships!</p>
<p>Just wanted to chime in congrats on the new acceptances! CMU was on my son’s short list before he fell in love with Emory. UR was also mentioned as a good fit for him by the GC though too far north for our thin skin. </p>
<p>DS is done with the third quarter of senior year this week and despite some senioritis, somehow managed to pull off straight A’s. The kid is an enigma.</p>
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<p>Is this still true for kids admitted into honors program at a big state school? I’m specifically thinking of Regents Scholars Overnight at a UC. Seems to me like that might be more valuable than just a regular day visit. What do y’all think?</p>
<p>Thanks mommymommy- right now, we are leaning towards him just working summer, and making him earn his own pocket/spending money. He may end up taking classes in the summer too, at least one or two summers. </p>
<p>There is a funding gap, but it is below what we “budgeted” to spend each year for school. So we are paying less than expected too. Still paying, but less.</p>
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<p>Mine was not necessarily a tantrum thower, but he had to have all tags cut out of his clothes and no seams on the edges of his toes. no cheap socks for him! To this day, he hates a rugby type shirt with interior seams. But mostly he was just busy… always so busy. He could scale the kitchen cabinets at a very young age and my pediatrician offered this comfort: mostly they outgrow this… literally. :)</p>
<p>We have one decision outstanding… but we’re still done. Now if D could just get home from her little vacation, she might like to share what’s she thinking!! I have a feeling she thinks she only has to tell us where to send the check! She’s got a little more s’plaining to do than than that! On the upside, all accepted schools are mostly in the running and you no longer have to be polite to and about those who’ve rejected you! :)</p>
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<p>just wanted to add… I love this.</p>
<p>vlines - while every family has to decide what they are able and willing to pay for their kids college, and I do understand the “skin in the game” angle, it’s not the philosophy we subscribe to. We would love for our kids to get through college with no loans. They might, or they might need to get some small loans. If your son did well enough to earn all those scholarships, he doesn’t need external motivation in the form of him having to pay for school when you already have money budgeted to cover it. He’s got the internal motivation that helped him earn those scholarships.</p>
<p>I don’t, however, give my college kids any spending money. They can work during the summer or during the school year (they do both), or be paupers - their choice.</p>
<p>That being said - I think I’m going to have both my college kids take out at least some of the subsidized loans next year and start paying on them right away, just to start building credit before they get out of school. </p>
<p>Like I said - the right answer is different for different people and different families.</p>
<p>Wow - what a hoppin’ week!</p>
<p>Congrats to D of Intouch1520, set up pretty nicely!</p>
<p>CMU! Nice! so happy for you Catana</p>
<p>Lisabees! Oberlin and DONE - I so wish we were there.</p>
<p>Vlines - took a lot of hard work to get that merit aid. Summer job.</p>
<p>We are a little concerned about the ability to visit schools. We are thousands of miles away from the top contendors and with the completely unexpected MT Nationals in early May,the time we were planning for DD to visit is mostly gone. May be able to get her to NE for a weekend. If her “dream school” comes through, no worries, but other than that, it might be nice to visit and get the feel for the place. I am SO glad she got to visit some schools over the summer.</p>
<p>I think freshman year is a huge transition for a lot of kids… most kids, in fact. The overriding best advice is to be a master at time management and prioritizing academic work. For some kids 3-4 hours of homework a night is pretty easily managed, for some it will be a shocker. For those whose scholarship requires a one chance GPA (meaning he has to get a certain GPA or they take it away for the next year (sometimes the next semester)), I think that’s enough “work.” at least for freshman fall. </p>
<p>He gets a job for the summer and uses that for spending money during the school year. My parents had me use my summer earnings to buy books and then they gave me an allowance. Problem with that was by fourth quarter I couldn’t afford the books I needed so instead of confessing, I didn’t buy the books. Not smart. 
If the kid has done well, you’re spending less than you thought you though, and it’s doable, I wouldn’t saddle them with a job, even work study, especially if they have a scholarship that needs keeping. Until he is sure he can do the work at the level that is required, THEN he can look for a job. I just don’t suggest anyone set a kid up for failure if you can avoid it with so much at stake, especially because they don’t know college at all. WE know college. Kids do not. They have never lived it, and it’s a live and learn kind of environment. Ease in before you ratchet up the heat… it’s already hot enough IMO.</p>
<p>Congratulations Cortana! I have my fingers crossed for lots of $$$ to be rained upon you by CM!</p>
<p>I’m really enjoying all of the toddler stories - it seems like such a short time ago for all of us parents, hard to believe that we’ve come so far.</p>
<p>My D 1 works for her own spending money as well. When she went abroad, she worked all summer and paid for her travel etc… there. We paid for her tuition and her ticket.
My neighbor has a D we might call a “princess” lovely nice girl, but her mom was happy she got an internship this summer as she wouldnt work " I dont wait on people they wait on me"My D works at a diner and just rolls her eyes LOL
With D1 I had to read “raising you spirited child as well” D2 has always been so much easier.
D2 's friend who was WL at a preferred school is very sad. this is so hard, and I feel bad. I feel for everyone with the college process, I promised myself I would not go through what I went through with D1. So far this is true however I think it is because of the different personalities of the kids and not anything I did.</p>
<p>if I can offer any information about schools , let me know. I live in the Northeast.</p>
<p>vlines - our “rule” is like PN’s - earn your own spending money. My son has tons of money saved and could in reality not work throughout all of college. I also think freshmen year would be the year I would say to not work. Don’t underestimate the transition of taking care of yourself with the increased rigor of college. I swear I think laundry and regulating sleep may be a bigger issue for my son.</p>
<p>Put him in the crowd of no tags, no seams - he’s still like that. When I buy him clothes I have to feel everything. Up until middle of middle school he’d come home from school and take his clothes off and walk around in his box briefs. He just couldn’t tolerate the feeling of clothes. It just took someone unannounced arriving and catching him in his undies. Now he doesn’t like wearing shorts - it can be 100 out and he doesn’t like his legs exposed to the air. Weird - which is why he’s not worried about going up to the frozen tundra - they sell loads of very soft, no tagged fleece wear. lol</p>
<p>Thanks everyone…you are solidifying what we were coming to believe. I would rather my son graduate without debt also- if possible. Or minimal debt that does not limit future options for him. </p>
<p>And he has worked his behind off in HS to be awarded the scholarships. He does work, and I too think it is fair to have him cover his own pocket money/fun money. </p>
<p>I think my concern was the level of “spoiling” we were doing (LOL). But I think some of it is also coming from the guilt of seeing so many of my son’s friends with limited scholarships being offered, and them having a difficult time figuring out how to pay for school. They are just as worthy as my son, but maybe did not do as much research to find the opportunities as we did.</p>
<p>And we have already told him he is not permitted to work Freshman year, eyemamom. I am right there with you on the sleep and laundry thing! Mine still comes home from school and changes in to pajama pants and a tshirt. Yes, tagless t shirt too!</p>
<p>Still nothing from Vandy!</p>
<p>Loved vlines’ post #18653 – the Occupy the mailboxes vision.</p>
<p>May have to give up on giving up wine for Lent.</p>
<p>hope you have a snuggie to keep you warm in the tent, weatherga! Definitely not the year to give up wine.</p>
<p>quote from Modadunn:
“Mine was not necessarily a tantrum thower, but he had to have all tags cut out of his clothes and no seams on the edges of his toes. no cheap socks for him! To this day, he hates a rugby type shirt with interior seams. But mostly he was just busy… always so busy. He could scale the kitchen cabinets at a very young age and my pediatrician offered this comfort: mostly they outgrow this… literally.”</p>
<p>D is the no tags, no wacky sock seam kid. I did an earlier Muppet Baby theme someplace about the sock kids and non sock kids (in a nutshell - there are 2 kinds of kids in the world). D is still a sock kid and needs/wants special horizontal lycra panel on arch for sports sock etc. She is also noise sensitive. And baby brother, let it all out boy is . . . drum roll . . . A DRUMMER!</p>
<p>“Put him in the crowd of no tags, no seams - he’s still like that. When I buy him clothes I have to feel everything. Up until middle of middle school he’d come home from school and take his clothes off and walk around in his box briefs. He just couldn’t tolerate the feeling of clothes. It just took someone unannounced arriving and catching him in his undies. Now he doesn’t like wearing shorts - it can be 100 out and he doesn’t like his legs exposed to the air. Weird - which is why he’s not worried about going up to the frozen tundra - they sell loads of very soft, no tagged fleece wear. lol”</p>
<p>. . . wow, eyemamom - our kids are cut from the same cloth (har-dee-har-har) I wish I’d found the support group for tag hating, undressing kids sooner.</p>
<p>saintfan - my son has played basketball since he was 8 or 9. Until about the last year or two when he’d see the ref ready to blow the whistle he’d cover his ears with his hands - lol. Even if he had the ball. I loved watching the coach watch him do that. He was the one who threw the ball in, and one game the gym was super small and the ref kept blowing the whistle right in his face. He walked over to him and asked him to please stop it was hurting him. He also wore an undershirt under his jersey - he couldn’t tolerate the feel of the numbers against his bare skin.</p>
<p>Oh, and his sister is a drummer as well! lol</p>
<p>Regarding who you meet at an accepted students’ program:</p>
<p>My oldest went to the opposite coast to visit two colleges she had been admitted to, one that was DH & my favorite for her (not that we told her) and one that was her dream school. In her two days on campus at our fave, she met a guy and fell in love with the school. Next stop was her dream school, which did not live up to expectations. She picked the first school. Back home again, she was IM-ing nonstop with this boy she met at the accepted student program. They ended up dating for two years. Did she pick that school because of him? We’ll never know.</p>