Our move in date seems to be pretty similar to most in our area - DS moves in at 7:30 am on 8/25 and others we talked with move in around that date, too. If it was later in the day we could just drive up that morning, but since it’s at least a 3 hour trek we’ve booked a hotel that’s a mile from campus to avoid the stress of getting out the door at 4 am for the big day.
We had a wonderful get together last night with 3 families that we’ve known since DS was 6 weeks old - it was so much fun to see the kids still connecting so well even though we only see each other 1-2 times a year. On the up side, we usually only meet up around Christmas and summer break, so the separation won’t be anything new for us with this group :). We can still meet this winter when everyone’s home from the first semester and hear how things are going for all of them.
In reading others’ posts, I kept picturing a Dorm Mountain since we hadn’t started at all. Then this week we started our purchases and washed the new sheets/towels. Well, one of our guests from last night’s gathering pointed out our pile of stuff in the living room corner and asked what it was - my answer of course was Dorm Mountain :).
D went to our city’s summer parade yesterday with friends and they met up with some of our relatives, who gave her a ride home. She was telling us that her little cousin who is 7 was chastising her for “never spending time with family”. D pointed out that just a week ago we had the whole family (including this cousin) over for a BBQ. So then she got on D about not spending time with us/her/them during the day, and D said she had been working. But family is more important than money! says this 7 year old. “I am working to pay for my education and THAT is important too!” replies D.
It was weird. I assume a parent or grandparent of this cousin was talking about this with the cousin soaking up the comments. Not that any of them would actually know how much time D is spending with anyone. I’ve mentioned this before-none of them went to college, and beyond that, none of them really understand why she is going so far away. They’re happy for her up to a point, but they don’t understand her.
Definitely a strange conversation, and as you said, it doesn’t sound like something a 7 year old would come up with all on their own. Your D should shrug it off, knowing she has spent time with extended family when she could, and the rest of her free time should be for immediate family and her closest friends. And good for her for working to help defray college expenses. It is ridiculous that anyone would put that down.
That is definitely a strange conversation @sseamom The cousin must have heard the adults talking about it and decided to tell D. Personally I think your D is managing her time well. She sounds like a very busy person and there is just so much to be done this summer
@sseamom A great example of “little pictures have big ears” I’m sure that she was privy to some adult conversations. We have experienced similar situations with my family as well as my husband’s family. For some reason they make it about them. That somehow because you chose to go to college that you somehow feel like you are better than them, somehow an insult. Ridiculous thinking if you ask me. My response to my family or in laws when they comment about not spending time with them is " We don’t live on a one way street. It goes both ways."
That usually gets my point across.
@sseamom, so sorry your D had to go through that. We had something similar happen after a large family vacation, where it was clear that one of the younger cousins was repeating the complaints that his mother made about part of the trip where our family decided to do a separate activity one evening (out of 6). It hurt my S and D’s feelings to have their cousin say it (and to ignore them after saying it), until I explained that he was just parroting his mom’s typical whining - then they totally realized it for what it was.
I hope your D wasn’t too hurt by the conversation - as a graduating senior and soon to be freshman, I think she’s really found a great way to make the most of her time this summer based on your updates and she should be proud, not feeling guilty, of her summer activities.
My hubby has been a SAHD for 11 years. We made the decision when we relocated the second time because it just made financial sense based on the cost of before/after school care in Northern Virgina. Also, her ability to participate in summer/academic activities would have been severely limited if we both worked full time.
The response we/he has gotten when they learn he’s a SAHD varies by generation and what part of the country we’ve lived in. Baby boomers in the north east have had a different response than baby boomers in the mid-West. The best response has come from our sweet girl (which is the only one that matters): “Daddy, it’s gonna hard for any man to live up to your example”.
Woohoo @readingclaygirl! My D is trying to get itunes, photoshop, etc. all set up on her Mac before the 90 day phone support runs out. (Just in case she runs into trouble) Love getting new stuff–but the setup is sometimes not as fun.
How do you determine which bed a roommate gets on move in day? My son will be moving in a couple days early. He is in a triple. One side of the room has bunk beds. The other side of the room has a lofted bed with the dresser underneath. He would prefer to have the lofted bed. Is it first come/ first served or is this something that roommates should discuss beforehand? My other son did not have this issue because he was in a double and the beds were exactly the same. On his first move in day his roommate was already set up when he arrived. The second time we helped him move (after a transfer) his roommate was already living there so no discussion. So is there a roommate etiquette? What is the best way to handle this since he will likely be there two days before his roommates.
@LexieAnn I know! Microsoft office is taking forever to install. @allboyz Does he know who his roommates are and have their contact information? If so, he should contact them and be like "hey I’m moving in a couple days early and I was wondering about the bed arrangement since there is bunk beds and a lofted bed. What do you guys think? " and then say "I think I would like the lofted bed but wait until at least one of them have responded so he doesn’t seem pushy. Then let them figure it out.
@allboyz I agree with @mommdc. To my surprise I heard from several parents that their kids have no idea who their roommate(s) will be. One of my sweet girls classmates is attending Kenyon College and they instruct the kids not to request specific roommates because they will get their assignment when they arrive (like the good old days). I would say first come first serve. My sweet girl is rooming with five other girls. The room is separates into a 3-2-1 with private bathroom, full frig and microwave. Several of them met during the admitted students day but all exchanged profiles before finalizing their choice by mid-June. They’ve all been in contact (FaceTime and social media for a few months now.
^ it’s really useful to have your own. We have a smaller folding cart and it was nice to load up and get moving while others waited for the school’s carts.
I’m wondering about the beds too. S is bed A but the room doesn’t say which is A (and I called and the school didn’t know!) It has two closet on one side and one on the other. So one side of the room gets more wall space (for the fridge and microwave I guess?) and the other side has an extra closet. They have been in touch but S hardly asks anything so I’m sure he hasn’t raised this question. Both beds are midloft with a dresser and bookcase beneath.