letting kids know that this whole application process is just the beginning of their journey of life is important. It’s not the “destination”, it’s the journey…right!!! We have to figure out a way to teach these kids that they will be OKAY no matter what happens. The process is very anxiety provoking.
@drmom123 I totally agree. It’s so hard to stay grounded through this whole process. We’ve been trying to take the Eeyore approach and expect the worst, but I don’t know if that’s the best approach either.
What I’ve been trying to do with my D is remind her that there are more than 3,000 colleges in the US alone, and that if these early apps don’t bring her the results she’s looking for, she has several others waiting to go where she’s already said she’d be happy to go. And, if even THOSE don’t work out, there are at least 3 in-state publics where she’s said she’d be willing to go. We’ve said from the very beginning that a “dream school” was not a good idea, because what if it becomes the one school that rejects you or doesn’t give you merit money, which makes it unaffordable ? We talk about having not just a “Plan B”, but a Plan C, D and E. Not that no one here is getting anxious, but hopefully it helps.
I’ve been trying to be very practical and pragmatic, but S goes back and forth. One day he’s “fine, I’ll just go to Ginormous State U (his safety) if I don’t get into any of my top schools” and other days he’s convinced that if X or Y don’t come through for him he’s doomed to a life as a shift manager at McDonald’s and the accompanying ridicule of his classmates, all of whom will get into their dream schools (even if they don’t have one, which most do not).
Honestly, I think what’s freaking him out is that he has relatively little homework this year. He doesn’t know what to do with himself and is convinced he’s slacking.
@petrichor11 I’m amazed at the relatively light homework load for DS16 has too given his heavy course load . DS19 is making up for it though.
I too am amazed at how the homework for 5 AP courses and 1 College course seems so light. I keep asking my D if she is doing her homework and she continually says she is. I am amazed but thankful so that she has been able to juggle the applications, sports and all the other things that have been coming down the pike. We do constantly discuss the fact that some of these schools are just naturally difficult to get into regardless of how good of a student (and person you are). Sometimes it seems as if its filtering in and then sometimes it seems like its totally deflating her! I come to find out that part of my D’s meltdown Sunday night results from an issue with her calc teacher! UGH! I don’t know if this new revelation makes me feel better or worse. Is it April yet? Send the wine this way!
For years I have been nagging my D’16 “You are not going to get in to college with grades/scores/ec like that”. She recently told me I had her absolutely convinced that she was going to have no options and would be at our local community college come Fall 2016 (Believe me our local community college would not have been an option, it truly is horrible). I like @carolinamom2boys eyeore analogy. It worked for me to manage the stress but clearly it was anxiety inducing for D’16.
So far, she has gotten into 3 schools. 2 very good schools where she was firmly in the 25% range. I’ve decided that I (and pretty much all of us) have very little idea what an admissions committee is really looking for in a student. I am sure that the picture of what a school needs/wants changes from week to week.We want to think we can control the process or calculate the odds but it is all smoke and mirrors. How many times do you read an acceptance thread and think why that kid and not this one? I know, in my D’16’s case, I wanted to call both universities and ask “What was it that made you take her?”
I agree with @sseamon. Don’t pin your hopes on one school and be certain that you will be happy at any of your schools. A rejection is just a rejection. It hurts, but you will get over it. Bloom where you are planted.
Not that I have learned anything was just nagging D’18 that she needs to at least do what her sister did if she wants to go to college…
What is up with the light senior year homework? Same situation here. Just asked as D’16 was heading out the door. “Do you have homework tonight?” Her response “OMG, Mom, NO!” I am convinced she is slacking (although the grade portal seems to support D’16)
The homework is light here too, but some subjects been neglected and need more attention, like AP Statistics.
Wow, my child’s homework is the opposite of light. Was at a 12th grade parent meeting with the principal a couple of weeks ago and the parents complained so much about the ED/homework stress that some of the teachers put off deadlines a bit, but there’s still a ton of work.
The problem S has (leading to little homework) is that he has literally run out of classes to take. It’s a small school, with limited options, plus two of the AP classes he’d planned to take were cancelled because they didn’t have teachers. The counselor letter explains this, thank God, but we’re both a little twitchy about how the colleges are going to look at his senior schedule.
The slacker girl we refer to as D, otoh, suddenly decided to take 4 APs this year. She has more homework than her brother, though not much because she does it during her teaching assistant period.
Both are taking Stats, but there’s not much in the way of homework there-- a lot of in-class projects. Judging by the threads I’ve seen mentioning Stats, this is not the norm, apparently.
Our S is taking classes that aren’t extremely difficult for him, but would be for a lot of people. He’s taking oth Multivariable Calculus and Linear Algebra. As long as there’s an English class on his schedule, he won’t be getting a 4.0.
Homework is nightmarishly hard here. Last weekend was what my son called a spreadsheet weekend - there was so much he had to put it into a color coded spreadsheet for tracking. He did run out of courses in math this year, so he is at the local CC for more classes.
Count us in the “hard senior year” camp. DD has a full IB load and has decided to take an extra higher-level course (Chemistry) even though she doesn’t need the test for the diploma because she is also taking HL Bio. Mostly, I’m glad she decided not to slack off on classwork, but she has a lot of homework on her plate, and IAs start this month. DS19 is taking AP Stats and I’ve been surprised at how hard it is. We thought it was an easy AP, but we were wrong.
@MidwestMomTo2, felt sorry all day for your situation with Drexel. So frustrating!
My kid won’t know what hit her in the homework department once she gets to college. She has had such a teeny tiny amount of homework…in forever.
So, I’m trying myself to add “home school” assignments for her to build up her capacity to handle college-level homework before next August. I feel like she’s in a race against time. Any suggestions? I wish there was a practical “college skills” readiness checklist I could use as a guide. But, I’m feeling like time mgt, document mgt, and sustained reading are big elements needing to be mastered.
So afraid she won’t be ready, and I’m sure she picks up on that.
I wish homework was light here! With all the homework, ridiculous # of schools DD is applying to having 2 supplemental essays & a curve ball thrown by Science Research teacher regarding intel, there just aren’t enough hours in the week for her. UGH! If we could just get all the apps out, that would be one thing done…
@Kat2013 I hear you regarding Intel essays. DD did not even start working on them and they are due in a week. All 6 of them plus supplemental questions.
Wow! That’s not available for our kids- or any kids in our district, really. The CC isn’t an option as Linear Algebra and Calc III are offered at times high school kids aren’t able to access them.
DS16 has an "academic enrichment " period where he completes most of his homework. He’s taking 5 AP classes including AP Government , AP Economics, AP Calculus BC, AP Physics and AP English Lit and Spanish 3 CP.
Because D’s classes are mostly project-based, she doesn’t have a lot of homework…except in her senior project class, which has deliverables every week or so. This week it’s a critical analysis of several social science papers on her topic-at least one is a Ph.D. thesis. Boy, does that eat up her time! She will also be starting her internship this week-also related to her topic-all of it ties together in June when they present their research and work.
D will miss her last class period once a week for the internship, but it’s designed that way as it’s the “Extended STEM Research” period when the seniors all work on their project in some way.
D heard from one of her colleges today that they have everything but her SAT scores…which are not posted yet. I was given three different dates-any bet it will be the last possible one of the three?