@AsleepAtTheWheel there is a very nice Homewood near Amherst that we’ve stayed at several times… 
Welcome, @LionsMum ! You’ve found a home here on this thread!
@fretfulmother - That is so sweet! I got a little “verklempt” just reading your post. S16 is our first, and we’ve got S17, right behind. I’ve been having similar thoughts about the past 18 years of raising our boys, and love going back to look at old pics and videos. Both big grown boys were so cute back then! I was so happy my very shy S16 didn’t mind my putting one of his baby/toddler pictures into their yearbook, along with his Sr photo. We are lucky that S16 is only going about 4 hours away, so we will probably still see him every few months. S17 is looking much farther - B.C. Canada!
Good planning, @CAMidwestMom ! The Lions of LMU will be sad not to have your son in their mix, but Mizzou has so many opportunities, and our HS, here in MN, usually sends about a half dozen kids to Mizzou every year! Happy for you that he’ll be w/in driving distance. My friends w/ kids at larger schools visit there a few times a year, just to attend football and basketball games with together, even tho it’s not their own Alma mater.
Good luck @beech653! Keep us posted on your son’s situation.
Re VRBO cancellations - we use them a lot and it seems to vary by owner. We had to cancel something for this summer. We had only made a deposit, but we will get 50% back only if she rents it out. I was surprised at this other owner’s generous policy, but in this case truly it would be easy to rent it at twice the price if we canceled. In fact, I’m still awaiting confirmation and hoping they don’t reject my reservation and bump up the price.
@morningside95 I told S he had to keep the LMU - and SCU - options open until later. Him deciding to stay closer is a drastic change and in case he rethinks it, I want him to still have options.
@LionsMum welcome!
@texaspg @beech653 I think there are always some ED rejections even for good kids, unconnected to the rest of this mess (but I think that later letter indicates more was going on for you). I wrote a rec for a terrific girl who was rejected ED from an Ivy, perhaps the same Ivy 
and I think it was a big loss to them that they made that decision.
Welcome @LionsMum and @beech653 . You’ll find a very supportive group here. I agree that having a situation like your son experienced @beech653 can leave a really bad taste in your mouth, and it is hard to let it go. We had an experience nowhere near as upsetting as yours last spring when my son was shut out of a scholarship program from his “dream” school because his GC did not send in her portion of the application , and the school would not reconsider even though it was through no fault of my son. That school quickly dropped to the bottom of his list partly because of the way it was handled and partly because of the COA without the opportunity for the scholarship . Fast forward 10 months. He is one of 25 students who have been invited to interview for one of 10 very generous scholarships which would make it affordable for him to go to his school. He interviews on Monday. I say this not to brag but to reinforce how circumstances can taint one’s experiences. At a time when he should be excited about this opportunity, he really is very guarded. I gave him the choice of whether or not he wanted to interview or to just withdraw , and he chose to interview. I asked him why he was not excited , he said" I’m trying not to get my hopes up, I don’t want a repeat of last summer." So these feelings last longer than expected sometimes. Good luck to your son no matter where he ends up. And I don’t blame you for scaling back your monetary and time contributions to your alma mater, I certainly would.
My question to you @AsleepAtTheWheel is after you ripped the GC a proverbial new lower GI tract would you be inclined to repair it?
@CAMidwestMom - Hope your S16 has a fantastic 4 years, wherever he chooses to go! The smaller campus experience would probably be a lot different than what I would expect at a big school like Mizzou. There is generally a greater school-spirit sense of community on a big campus, surrounding their sports programs. But students at Jesuit schools, while racial diverse, esp, in CA, often share similar values. That is what I found at LMU, whether kids were Catholic or not (one of my good friends was Jewish!) My S16 was accepted at our flagship, but definitely feels that a smaller campus community experience, will benefit him most. And he is really looking forward to a lot of close contact with professors, due to small class sizes. His relationships with certain HS teachers have had a huge impact on him. My H and I definitely credit those teachers with inspiring our day-dreamer son to harness all that intellectual curiosity, and buckle down to do his best work, academically.
We will all be excited to hear the final word from you regarding your son’s decision!
@beech653 - I am so sorry that your S16’s experience has also put a strain on your relationship with your Alma Mater, which you clearly care a great deal about.
@morningside95 S had seemed to really like the size of the Jesuit schools. I think truthfully I would be less happy with the large flagship if he wasn’t going to be in the Honors program. That puts him in a smaller group of about 3000 kids and they get a lot of individual attention. I was really impressed with their presentation when we visited. I will be happy with any choice he makes at this point. I told him the best thing about working so hard was that he would have choices and that - thankfully - has proven to be true.
@fretfulmother @beech653 I have a couple of issues with process followed by Ivy X.
- There are schools like Stanford and Northwestern who reject most of the SCEA and ED applicants just because they dont want to keep the dream alive and want the kids to move on except for 10% deferrals. However, I didn't think Ivies did that (they routinely defer 60%) and if Ivy X is exception to that it is ok but if Ivy X defers a bunch, a legacy deserves a deferral. It is common courtesy for parent's sake more than the kid. That is what keeps that donation spigot open.
- It makes zero sense to me when a college says you were qualified (duh - most kids who apply to lottery schools can usually do the work, it is not like the lottery schools teach Harry Potter science that requires one to be a magician and your state flagship teaches only muggle science) but we need to reject you now but try your luck next year. I assume that they are not writing this letter to 25,000 rejected kids and are doing it for only some special group like legacy. They have Z list for that and don't need to ask people to transfer if they are really keen about admitting a kid a year later because they have too many this year.
- If they rejected a kid because they are trying to teach the school a lesson, shame on them.
@CAMidwestMom - That is great to hear about the Honors program, at Mizzou!
U of M has the same, and S applied, but they don’t release admissions to their Honors program until late March. With the full tuition scholarship they provide, and smaller class size, S was interested in applying. Going the U of M route, S would have no loans, and have more $ to put towards grad school. But when Grinnell accepted him, he was willing to take on a modest amount of loans to go to his dream school. LOTS of kids from our top-notch local public H.S. go to the U of M, even though its only 10 miles away! They have great programs, great neighborhood on the Mpls/St. Paul border, and lots of school spirit. The kids there are very happy, as are, I’m sure the kids are at Mizzou. We just learned about all the public universities that have Honors programs, within the larger campus programs, when S was a NMSF and he received lots of mail from places like Alabama, Oklahoma, Arizona, etc.that give full ride scholarships to their Honors programs. They are great options!
@morningside95 Thank you very much! How would you say the adjustment to MN was for you?
@beech653 Welcome! I’m sorry to hear about what happened to your son, and agree it was a little strange they offered your son that instead of deferring him. Please try not to feel bad about feeling down. I’d definitely feel the same.
@Mysonsdad The inland empire is a little far for me, OC or downtown would be preferrable.
I don’t really get why some schools do guaranteed transfer option. They always can fill the seats with either Z-list or applicants from transfer if they want. But they offer the option and if my kid is granted, it will be a good option for later just in case.
@dapistained -I think at her age, she would be perfect for taking an year off
Welcome, @beech653, to this last tenuous grasp of sanity in the sea of college madness!
I have no experience or wisdom to add about Ivy X, but if things did fall out the way they did because of another student’s actions, that’s lousy. Ivy admissions are tough enough to get through without having the deck stacked against oneself. (It would have been helpful if the GC had clued you in beforehand. Argh!)
@petrichor11 This should be our Forum Motto. Welcome to the Parents of the Class of 2016 Sub Forum: The Last Tenuous Grasp of Sanity in the Sea of College Madness! Did we mention it was tenuous???
Cheers to that, @CAMidwestMom. I’m following along on the thread during a work trip … to Miami. Not a bad place to be in Feb.
Unfortunately I had to miss a major competition for my D last night. Fortunately she did great, and her team advanced to the state championships. It’s her most loved activity and her coach said she “killed it.” I’m kind of hoping for a cherry on top of senior year when they go …
Congrats on all the California admits. I love reading all the good news.
Welcome aboard @LionsMum and @beech653
@CAMidwestMom -For some reason- I got this image of us a in a ‘sinking ship’ in the Sea of College Madness- all frenetically tossing out essays, & scholarship apps, & FAFSAs & CSS forms to keep us afloat!
@beech653 We went through this with my S14 – he was rejected from our alma mater in ED (maybe your Ivy X, I don’t know). No deferral, no option to transfer later, it was clear. Like you, it hit us harder than it hit S14 who fairly quickly moved on. We, on the other hand, vowed never to donate to the school again (not that they got much from us in the first place, haha). We do think now that it wouldn’t have been the best fit anyway. But still hurts.
Now, I have to say all the people who were deferred to RD this year from one of S16’s schools moaned and groaned about it – they said they’d rather have the outright rejection than be dragged over the coals again. But now that many of them are actually getting accepted they are probably changing their tune.
One of the sad truths about this whole process is that we’ll never truly know why decisions (especially at lotteries) went the way they did or whether the outcome really was the best for our kids.
Love the new motto, @petrichor11 and @CAMidwestMom !
I know a classmate who got deferred EA from her top school who has said she would rather know either way instead of waiting especially since the rest of her schools are RD. I have another friend who recently said that she was really wishing all schools were rolling admissions. I think she was getting impatient waiting to hear from all 6 of the schools she applied to.
Schools that have rolling admissions are not going to be your top schools because they have much less demand that the ones who get flooded and have to cut it off at some point.
S ordered a class ring back in December. Due to the blizzard back east the delivery was delayed. At the beginning of February I called and asked when it would be delivered and was told it would be here about a week. I waited two weeks and still no ring. I called today and was told that the ring had been delivered. We never received it. I don’t have a tracking number and the salesman is tracking it down. The post office says they don’t have it. It’s a shame because S has been looking forward to having a class ring and now I am worried I am out $300.