QOTD: We will pay for college. No skin in the game. I’ve told them I will bug them for eternity if they screw up 
Son17 has also been expressing an interest to get a law degree after his undergrad. So I’m not sure what we’ll do at that point. He might change his mind.
QOTD: Unless S earns a full ride +, we’ll follow the same pattern we have with D14. Tuition, fees, books, housing and food, and transportation for the first four years is on us (we planned for that), but the kid is responsible for spending money. And, for different reasons, they need a lot of that. We were not well off when my children were young enough to accompany me to the grocery store and other errands. They learned about budgeting with their ABCs and know the value of a dollar full well. Both worked part-time in HS. D14 works 20+ hours a week during the school year and full time in summers and S will work through college, although it may be fewer hours than his sister. We don’t provide funds to either until they ask; both are very independent and would prefer to pay for things themselves than ask us for money. S even volunteered to stop after school yesterday to get trick or treat candy on his dime. (I picked it up myself.)
QOTD - Skin in the Game: We have a budget and we have communicatd it to S. He is being way more practical than I would have thought a 17 yr old can be. He is looking mainly at schools where he will get substantial aid for National Merit or schools where we will get tuition discounts for location (WUE). His current one full pay choice w/little merit aid is Cal Poly, which would be a little bit of a stretch but we can afford as an OOS family. We make D15 pay for the extras (clubs, going out, etc.) from her own money and we will likely have S do the same. If he ends up at an all together different school (looking at a couple where he’d need one of their really good merit scholarships), he may end up with some loans. I kind of agree that we would go no more than the $5k/year amount. It is manageable in the future and we could help pay it off if necessary.
RE: EFC
I know some parents that are letting their kids apply to tippy top colleges even though they said they won’t pay for them, just to see if their kid can get in.
RE: ditch day
It was ditch day for seniors here too. I told my son no, save it for a powder day in the winter!! Better use of a day off, he was just going to sit around and he has a dentist appt anyways.
QOTD- I totally think kids should have some skin in the game. To every family that is different! Our kids have been given a budget of what we can afford. They know that we do not want them having loans. We have given them a very nice life, but we have tried really hard to make them not be or act entitled. My oldest 2 kids both work quit a bit and the youngest will too once she is old enough. They have saved quite a bit of money and we are trying really hard to help them manage it. The only requirement that our kids have is the exact same thing that my parents did. They are responsible for their fun money in college.
In an expensive reach school scenario, I am hoping for outside scholarships to replace the student loan part of the FA package. We’d ideally like D to get student loans, outside scholarships, and a part-time job, but apparently this would reduce need-based aid and not our parental contribution, so hoping for either a full ride outside scholarship (not likely) or just enough outside scholarships to cover the student contribution.
Got our first CSS IDOC request today.
@RightCoaster — that seems so cruel. Unless the kid just wants to see also? If the kid really had their heart set on it --that’s sad!
@carachel2 I’m sure the kids would like to go there. They are 2 twins with excellent grades/stats, but the parents think Umass will work out fine for them, so they are unwilling to spend any more. Seems kind of weird to apply to some schools knowing you will never go there. At least with financial or academic safety schools there is a “chance” you might end up there.
@dfbdfb Wow. I bet your house is popular with kids of all ages on Halloween!
@RightCoaster We have a family member who is so sure that D17 would get into an Ivy that he has offered to pay all application-related fees so that he can have a copy of her acceptance letter. Why he wants this, I don’t know. Why he thinks she will get in, I don’t know.
@hadmeathello — is she applying?
I don’t know @carachel2 =))
Don’t think so. That would involve more essays.
@hadmeathello I can somewhat understand if you really want to see if you’d actually get accepted. But aren’t the Ivies a pain in the neck to apply to with tons of essays and the like? That’s a lot of work to get a sheet of paper,lol.
“Congats you got in! Now you can brag how you got in but aren’t going to attend!”
@RightCoaster Totally agree. But they’re kids. Deep down they all wish they could go to an Ivy. Even if they tell you otherwise. I really believe that.
(OK, 99%. Not ‘your’ kid, of course. This is not open for debate! )
Skin in the game
D knows we will cover COA (after a little modification of travel costs) for public in-state universities. She will be expected to work to cover any additional costs. She wants to work and I think it will be good for her self esteem to be able to make her own decisions about extra expenses and be able to pay for them herself. I don’t want her to need to call me to add some money to her debit card if she wants to get a pizza or go to the movies.
She got a job this summer, and even though she has over extended herself, she is keeping until she leaves for college. She enjoys having her own money to spend the way she wants, she makes very practical decisions. I have given her the requirement to save enough to have necessary seed money to start the fall semester.
I do not know if that is skin in the game or not. but she is hoping for graduate school we do not want any UG debt.
** QOTD ** - No skin in the game for tuition/room/board/transportation/books/phone but spending money for extras will be on her. She has a fair amount saved from summer jobs, birthday gifts, etc. and eventually will get a part time job - maybe after the first semester/year after she has a better idea of how much time her studies require.
Anything can happen between now and decision day in May. Why not apply to a super reach (academic and financial)? As long as there is an understanding that if nothing else changes, you cannot afford it and the app is just for fun.
I keep hoping that FIL will step up and offer to sell one of his collection of houses to help with S17’s tuition. He’s 80 years old and the houses are coming our way anyway, so why not do it now when we need it most?
@STEM2017 Yeah, that’s a good point. We’re in a similar situation. But, it makes me think we can stretch the budget for D1 (aka raid D2’s 529 
) and maybe the situation will change come 2020.
YES!! Finally, last teacher recommendation changed from “Requested” to “In Process” in Naviance. Aaaah. Big sigh of relief. I really don’t get it because D asked her in June. Seems like many parents are having the same frustration here. I feel for you! Why do they wait until the very last day? I really don’t get it. :-w
@STEM2017 If I hit thePowerball lottery between now and when the 1st tuition payment is due I’ll consider picking up the freshman year tab for your son, lol. Anything can happen :))
@RightCoaster DEAL!