@HiToWaMom we were in similar boat with the LOR. My son asked last June. The teacher claimed she had it done a long time ago, but waited to just a few days ago to submit. No idea why. If it’s done, just send it already!!!
@RightCoaster I think they secretly enjoy tormenting students. They must be giggling at home imagining students’ parents pulling their hair out in frustration…
I’ve mentioned before that my D17 is applying to Colgate even though she knows that we can’t afford it and so she isn’t going, but it’s her favorite of the high-end schools she’s looked at and she’s simply curious if she’d get in. No plans to attend (though, of course, if they decided to waive tuition we’d think about it), but the deal is that she gets to pick one “just for fun” application.
S is too lazy to complete a “what if/just for fun” school application.
QOTD
I am a believer in skin in the game. How much skin, may vary and is really dependent on the kid. I’ve seen too many examples of kids without any skin in the game making some poor financial choices otherwise or having a lackluster sense of urgency in getting a job, settling for the less than dream job or really trying to live independently after college. I also think some skin in the game really helps motivate the kid to graduate on time.
We also are in a full pay situation, where we can’t pay full pay, and the kid does not have the stats for full ride/full tuition type options. He should get merit but…will likely still be short.
I would prefer he not work first semester at a minimum to get his feet on the ground but he will want to work and it’s likely I’ll have to try and restrain him from overcommitting.
We’ve done all the math, including repayment schedules for loans so that he can see what it would entail.
Our deal is as follows: If he wants anything that costs more than our instate flagship…he has to have skin in the game to make up the difference and even with that, there is a cap. It really will be up to him and how debt averse or not he is. I am ok with up to the federal limits if needed, it’s pretty much exactly in today’s dollars what I had for undergrad loans and I think that taught me quite a bit. But it will be up to him. The experiences at the schools on his list will be wildly different and he needs to decide what that difference is “worth” to him.
In State Safety - All fun money will be on him to earn (or use summer earned savings for). Books are contingent on a minimum 3.0 gpa or he has to buy them. If he wants study abroad in this scenario, that will likely be on him but we will see.
All others - He will need to do a combo of loans and work earnings. Same deal on books.
as with @dfbdfb if we can, we may pay off some of his loans at graduation. If we can.
@mamaedefamilia that is so sad, and yes, sounds like a painful spring full of denial. Nice that she has a backup option but ugh.
QOTD - For our kids, we gave them the budget of what we would pay. If their school (tuition, room & board) cost more, then they had to figure out a way to make it work, whether that was student loans or working to make up the difference. We’ve always stressed that loans aren’t ideal.
For S15, we pay tuition, room & board. He is on the hook for books and other stuff.
For D17, she is in a better position to get scholarships (better gpa, scores, leadership, etc.), however she is my procrastinator. And she loves to travel. So I have pointed out the budget to her, letting her know that if she comes in under budget, the extra money can be used to send her places.
QOTD: Skin in the game?
For such a simple question I have a hard time articulating a general principle.
S '14 earned a scholarship covering tuition; we’ve covered fees, room and board. He’s currently on a path to a STEM PhD. I expect he will be supported. (He needs to be supported or not go to grad school, but that is a separate discussion.) He worked a manual labor job after freshman year earning about $4K during the summer. He wanted to take a summer job doing some research so he took a non-paid research position. The PI liked him and found some funding for him, but it wasn’t equal to the manual labor job he could have had. I kicked in some $ to help make up the difference. I felt he was more than doing his part. When he goes to grad school we may need to re-evaluate depending upon the support level and the area where he chooses to go. I don’t expect to provide anything but he might need some “bridge” funding from me.
D’17 is applying and chasing merit aid. She has one true financial safety. If she continues her career path, she will need 2-3 years of expensive grad school. S '20 will be in school, and I won’t be able to fund both so she might end up with some significant debt. Worrrisome, but in the future. If she chooses her financial safety or some other scenarios play out, we might be able to completely fund one or two of these years.
S’20 needs to turn in his homework and stay alive so we can have this discussion in a couple years.
That which is fair is not always equal.
Time to remove those schools in the CA that were originally supposed to go in EA. Hopefully no lost opportunity, but I guess we’ll never know (looking at you Michigan).
2017 application stats at D’s HS as of 11/1 (most probably ED):
Brown: 22 applicants
WashU: 20 apps
Stanford: 12 apps
UPenn: 12 apps
Columbia: 11 aps
Vanderbilt: 8 apps
Emory: 7 apps
MIT: 6 apps
Harvard: 5 apps
Duke: 5 apps
Cornell: 5 apps
Dartmouth: 4 apps
Barnard: 4 apps
Princeton: 3 apps
Harvey Mudd: 3 apps
For kicks:
UIUC: 120 apps
@hadmeathello yes, where does that come from (deep down want an ivy mentality)!
and Michigan is off ours too, I’m sure it was the extra essays (as you also mentioned earlier)! :-S
@hadmeathello How many students in D’s HS? Would love a peak at that kind of info at my S’s HS.
only skin in the game is 100% ours! Single child to professional Indian parents, what you all expect =))
Our Naviance has the applied/admitted stats currently turned off. They will probably come back after the January RD submittal time frame. I would love to know where some of the other kids at the school are applying.
She’s got 850 in her class @STEM2017. I’m guessing most of those are ED, as I said, but obviously no way to tell. We don’t have many athletes (well, we do, but they tend to go to Big 10 schools).
I think there are several that are like my kid, and they ‘planned’ on applying, but in the end they never completed the application. Those are probably reflected in these numbers too. So, take this a face value. Garbage in garbage out. 
Oh, and I forgot:
Yale: 7 apps
@hadmeathello and @STEM2017 We can see how many applied for '16 year, not this year’s class.
D17 has worked since she turned 16. I expect she’ll put in as much as she can. I don’t expect her to get much merit aid, she’s just not there. We iwll make sure she has no undergrad debt. If she chooses prof/grad school it is all on her.
D20 needs to get her flippin act together or it is community college for her.
Do schools really think that “Last chance to apply ED!” emails are really going to work?
QOTD – S17 (and parents!) are lucky in that he has rich and generous grandparents who set up a college fund so no skin in the tuition/housing game. However, he will be responsible for spending money as we keep trying to remind him.
He received a large envelope in the mail from Tulane and it is killing me that I can’t open it as I think it may be his first acceptance. Off to pick up D19 and then perhaps taking her to doctor so it may be a while before I find out. DS will get home from school after I have left 
Congrats to all of you with acceptances and completed applications. Senior year marches on!
@VickiSoCal , DS20 is a challenge too. I am more stressed about his grades than D’s college applications.
Dd wrote a thank you note to the admissions officer that she met with a couple of weekends ago. In turn, the AO wrote her back and told her how much she enjoyed meeting with her. 