S18 applied to one restricted early action school and then five other allowed early schools. He also submitted three regular decision apps and then three regular apps that have early deadlines (can only submit in the month of November).
He should hear any day from one of his schools, then anytime between now and the second week of December for another, and then the rest have strict release dates, starting with December 15th.
@Kayak24, for what it’s worth we expect our daughters to take out some small loans for school.
We plan on helping them on the other side, however, by making some payments for them.
Congrats on USCar @vistajay and @chb008!! <:-P <:-P <:-P
@Kayak24 !! What a crazy ride you guys have been on! I started writing one thing, then kept reading and went, oh no, better change it. In any case, whatever you decide, I wish you well and am sending positive vibes. It sounds like a tough situation with no easy answers. >:D< For the record my D is also a homebody, and even experiences a degree of separation anxiety, so I hear you on all your concerns re: far away schools. The odd thing is, my D has developed a strong liking for her farthest away school in spite of it’s location. We spend a lot of time talking about all the issues and challenges she would face, but also some of the unique opportunities. I think sometimes problems arise when kids go in with unrealistic expectations of what their experience at a far away campus might be like. Going in with eyes wide open to the drawbacks, probably helps a little (I hope). 
No ED or REA around here, but her apps are all regular old EA and I said to her last night, by next week, you’ll be done with your part. I’ve been doing very well on my new resolution to stay back and let her do. But last night she was clearly unhappy and after some prodding, it turned out she was feeling overwhelmed and wanted some help just organizing what still needed to be done. So I helped her make a list of everything she has that’s hanging over her head, then we looked at due dates and prioritized things. Right away she noticed that she has 4 apps sitting out there ready to submit that could be just easily checked off her “to do” list. She actually mentioned putting it off until they are due on 11/15! But I reminded her of the common app troubles she witnessed right before the 11/1 deadline and she now has those moved up to get them submitted ASAP! The only reason she didn’t do it last night is because this all came up right before we were all headed to bed (of course, my procrastinator even procrastinates asking for help until the very end of the day!). I-)
Anyway, I think talking it through helped her, but she is still wildly nervous about writing the 2 essays she needs to write for the honors college app that is due next week. She keeps burying her head in the sand on those hoping they will disappear if she doesn’t look at them. I told her it doesn’t work that way. [-X One more week, then we can fully transition to the waiting period…
The NMF ride vs. pay-more-for-dream-school is quite the conundrum, isn’t it? We’ve gone round and round with it, and even though our die has been cast, I still think about it sometimes.
I guess it comes down to the finances of the individual family. If someone can afford the non-NMF school, super. Congrats all around.
We can’t afford the non-NMF schools, though, Not at any of the UCs, and not at the kind of school (e.g. Tulane, Wooster, Lawrence) where S would have a good chance at a full-tuition award.
We are super fortunate that S loves UNM so much. In terms of his exact combination of programs, I don’t think anywhere else can come close, and especially not for free.
We settled the merit vs. prestige dilemma by setting an amount we would pay our student no matter where they went. Anything above that amount was on them to earn or borrow, anything below it they can keep. Both my kids turned out to be quite interested in how much they could potentially have left over!
My daughter took the NMF full ride with the understanding we will help with grad school with the money we otherwise would have spent on undergrad.
I hear you @DiotimaDM. This is an issue (and a good one to have!) for a lot of families, not just NMF, because some schools look at ACT scores, and some schools give out money for high scores (not just tippy top). It’s so hard to put a value on what one school is worth as compared to another school, and I don’t know if you ever really know whether it was worth it. Sometimes it depends on the major that your child is going for, and sometimes it depends on the personality of your child and where he/she would thrive. I definitely think that wanting to be closer to home is a legitimate reason, but I don’t know how to quantify that reason into dollars and cents. And even if I knew the dollar value for me, that would be very different for someone else.
@melvin123 - your post about the kids being a potential financial resource for the parents reminded me of a commercial I saw many years ago…
The father, who mortgaged the house so the son could get great education, was now struggling financially and asked the son if he could help out. The son (now a successful business person) told the dad that he should have planned better for the future & then said, “I think McDonalds is hiring.”
That always stuck with me & I remember thinking “geez, I’d hate to be in that situation one day!”
@melvin123 , I agree with @LMHS73 . And to your point, that’s always been my reasoning too. I do NOT want to be a financial burden on my kids when I’m old and most financial advisors make clear that you should not impact retirement savings to pay for college for that very reason. Much better to have the kids pay their student loans than my medical bills or concerns when H and I are old.
I know many parents who plan to take home equity lines out to pay for college. I’m really trying to weigh the important facts and not make emotionally-charged decisions.
That sounds exactly like my D. And she’ll likely remember that phrase, because I keep telling her the same thing, if she doesn’t get her college apps done on time. =))
I think there is no perfect school. We see kids happy at so many schools, and its difficult to predict what will happen. Even the best school can turn out awful if you get the wrong roommate etc. I’m also not convinced that being close to home so that you can run home on weekends helps with homesickness. Everyone gets home sick sometimes, but staying there on weekends and bonding with friends and getting through it is also important. That’s how a school becomes a home.
I think you have to trust that when you have a good list of schools to start with, there can be many good options on that list.
You had a well reasoned plan to start out with, I’m not sure that a letter sent most likely to all RD candidates who got their apps in on time, should change anything. What happens if she gets in but they come back with awful financial aid? how will you say no then? and how guilty will you feel? of course if she doesn’t get in RD you will also be kicking yourself - but hopefully at that point she will have some other options that she is happy with.
tough decision, but try to take the parental guilt out of this if you can. Make a reasoned decision and trust that things will work out.
Thank you, @stemmmm ! D just signed the ED agreement and my stomach is in a knot, likely for a lot of the reasons you just mentioned. I’ll let you know if this gets submitted tomorrow, and as for me - I predict a lot of tossing and turning tonight. :-S
We’ll probably just be playing the waiting game for a while. The only possible wrinkle is a NYC area school that sent a letter promising money (confirmed by NPC) that would make it affordable. If he applies it will probably be RD, though.
@Kayak24 Once I sat down and tried to figure out how our savings would be impacted by the “benefit” of having multiple kids in college at the same time for the kids that overlap.
Part of the motivation was to see if it would be worth it to stretch a little the first two years, knowing the price per kid would come down after two years.
I went year by year, subtracting money spent from savings and that 6% applied to the existing savings each year.
What that showed me is that it might be worth it for D18 to reach a little and try for a meets need college, as long as D20 has a plan for college.
And I might go for it…if D18 had a dream school… But she doesn’t.
Best of all would be if D18 found something really worthwhile to do for two years, until D20 is ready to start, and then go to a dream school so they would overlap for a full four years. But I would worry about her getting off track and we would be dependent on D20 staying on track, which is a little risky.
I am relaxing in the hotel after a trip that felt like a journey through purgatory. Pouring rain the whole trip and accidents that caused us to be re-routed three times. We ended up on narrow country roads, in the rain, in the dark, up and down hills, winding around in the middle of nowhere. I’ve spent most of my life on a coastal plain, so I got freaked out every time I went up a hill and reached the top and couldn’t see anything but dark sky until the van tipped to go downhill again. But D18 was a trusty navigator when I lost confidence in the GPS and we got a very warm welcome when we arrived.
Thank you @MACmiracle ! And your ordeal sounds so stressful! I am glad to hear you are safe and warm (and dry) now. #:-S
@Kayak24, I have been feeling your pain. I so hope that your D gets good news and that the FA pans out. Older D was accepted to her #1 school EA and we had at least 2 months of a painful wait to see the FA package. We had many conversations about turning down the school if it was not affordable. She got used to that idea, and spent time looking into all that was offered by the affordable alternative(s). Something to think about with your D.
In the meantime, I’m still trying to get my D to apply to a great school with a fantastic honors college that will be a good safety school. Those additional 4 essays tho…
@MACmiracle, so glad you got there safe!
The bonus at our house; DD’s top 2 picks are literally the last 2 she will hear from mid February and early March despite both having had application deadlines prior to December 1. I wonder why it takes so long to make a decision…6 months from when the application was open/submitted.
@Kayak24 I read @stemmmm 's point that the school might have requested ALL EA applicants to consider switching to ED. If this is for only a few kids, I wonder whether they really like the applicant and so it’s pretty likely they will be accepted if you do ED. Or I wonder whether it’s meaningless. I can tell you my D applied EA to Chicago and did not receive such an email. I wonder if you post on the general thread about whether anyone was asked to consider switching from EA to ED to PM you. I wonder whether any info like that might help you.
@labegg - same boat. D will have to wait til mid-March to Apr 1st for her favorites and they all have deadlines by Dec 1. Other decisions will come in starting Dec 15 but her top picks are the latest in the cycle. :-q
Haven’t been able to catch up on this thread until now, right before I have to take a break again. D has applied to one REA school, and been admitted to UT, TAMU-engineering and UA. She needs to circle back and get honors/scholarships essays done. Oy! And then she has to choose a few more matches to get done for 1/1.
I thought it would be smooth sailing after marching band contest season, but she seems to be bogged down with homework. I really just want application season to be over!