I have all the portal logins. My son is just not a Type A OCD person like I am. LOL I didn’t have them at first, but every night I’d be like “Did you check the portal? Let’s log in.” He’d be perfectly fine with waiting for an email (something he’s also not great about checking), or better yet a letter in the mail. It’s just a lot less stressful for everyone if I can log in on my own without bugging him. We tried doing the “grant access” thing at a couple schools where I’d have my own login, but couldn’t get it to work. We both use the same desktop and Chromebook so the user names and passwords are saved.
There are quite a few schools on the list right now and 99% of the time there is nothing new in the portal or reason to be checking, but for some reason I feel I need to…
I am extremely impressed with so many of your DC’s achievements and want to extend congrats for all the acceptances.
I’ve been lurking nearly daily but not posting as I feel there’s not been much to report. I’ve enjoyed reading about the successes and getting advice along the way.
I completed FAFSA and CSS Profile early October so I wasn’t the hold up on anything. DS completed his music supplement and applied to his top safety and top reach but still 5-7 to do. Now that he’s gotten a couple done, I hope the next ones are easier.
He has an alumni interview scheduled for next weekend. Any experience with this? How to prepare? I keep hearing it’s more of a conversation, not scripted, and general impressions more than specific questions.
Our agreement with both kids was/is that portal links, user names and passwords are kept where all of us can access if need be. I do all final review before applications and scholarships are submitted so used it then but will not on an ongoing basis unless a need arises. DC is to confirm all information has been received, watch for acceptances, sign up for housing, etc. but we as parents are the backup plan. Kids get sick, have unpredictable homework loads, are overwhelmed, are out of town when to dos pop up, etc so a back up plan may be needed. I consider that appropriate family support, not over-involved.
About the portal logins and parent involvement: agree that it depends on the child and how diligent they are in keeping upto date. In our case, DS20 can easily forget the details - so he and I decided that he will use the same login credentials for all colleges and will check them once a week. We just had our weekly 1hr admission session (one good practice that I learned from CC parents) - and realized he didn’t activate portals for 4 of his 5 EA colleges. So, yes he needs my involvement - don’t want to be in a situation where he missed something because he missed an email or something similar.
Another reason for my involvement: as @Momofmanytoo mentioned - this process is a bit fascinating to me . Both wife and I had our undergrad education outside US (first gen immigrants). We attended US colleges as a grad students - but that process is very different (and it was long ago). As complicated as this process maybe, I have to admit that I am fascinated by it and can’t help but research and involve. Of course I am trying to be careful and not to overdo it.
I don’t have access to my son’s portals but I can see why some parents may while their kid’s in high school. I’m on two different parent’s college facebook pages for my older kids and I’m shocked at the amount of parents there that still have access to their students accounts in college and how involved they are. One parent accutally sent a reminder to the parent’s group, reminding parent’s to remind their student’s that an upcoming assignment was due (this is a class required by all incoming freshmen).
I don’t keep track of my kid’s homework assignments in highschool, let alone college and I found it a bit offensive that she thought I and other parents on the list, should be responsible for reminding our students of their college student’s responsibilities.
There are some things in the portal I would still want access to once he starts college. All the financial/housing and meal plan stuff for sure. I don’t think homework assignments are part of any of the school portals we have, but maybe that shows up later?
Our high school portal I just look at the grades every week when they email them out. I don’t delve into the homework assignments or know when he has any tests coming up or anything…although it’s all in there. The school really pushes being involved in that though, so I can understand why some parents are still micromanaging high school kids. At the last PT conference they had a booth set up and were stopping everyone before they went in to ask if they had the high school’s app on their phone and knew how to use it. You are kind of made to feel like you’re falling short as a parent if you aren’t checking this regularly.
With Portal and parents I think it absolutely depends on the kid. For my DS18 when he was applying to colleges I had all his Portal log ins and would pop in and check to make sure there weren’t any alerts. I usually saw his acceptances before he did and I’d let them know they were there. He’s not very organized and to me it was too big of a risk in case there was an alert about missing info that was needed. He’s now in his second year of college and I no longer go on it.
For my DD20 I do not have her Portal info for any of the schools she has applied to. She’s generally on top of things. I’ve reminded her a few times to check the Portals (which is how she saw her Penn State acceptance) but that’s it. And now that she had her first Portal acceptance (her other acceptance came via email) I can already tell she’s become a “once a day or more” checker for the two schools that give decisions out on a rolling basis. We’re both pretty bummed she has to wait all the way until end of January to hear from FSU!
Bottom line to me is that kids are different, parents are different, and you do what’s right for you and your kid, and what’s right for you and your kid could seem totally bizarre to someone else, and that’s okay.
@voyagermom I was just going to post something similar. Kids are different. I have the pw to my oldest’s college account. I usually log on after we (yes they send it to the parents) receive an email saying that tuition is due. My second started off wanting to do applications alone. Then after multiple deadlines and to do lists started appearing, she asked for help. I think it also depends on due dates and how many applications are pending at any given time.
Mine has applied to 5 and is all set with regular applications (has honors applications left to do). At one point she had 10 schools on her list but she gradually eliminated half of them for a variety of reasons.
My D19 gave me access to her college portal. It helps me sift through bills and financial aid, and also allows me to help her plan her courses to best suit her. A good number of her friends are unhappy with their semester because they just took their pre major advisor’s first suggestions. My daughter and I have long conversations about what she wants out of a semester/degree/class and go over all the requirements and she shows up to her advisor knowing what she wants. She still listens and has changed something she planned for next semester, but she doesn’t let herself be immediately steamrolled. For instance, this semester she was told it was a bad idea to take six classes, but she knew how she handles time and what she wanted, and she is thriving in all of her classes and is very happy she went in prepared and stood her ground. I help with that preparation- I’m the detail gal, the research freak.
S20 has applied to 5. He has 3 that he wants to do for RD. Depending on how things go, he has a few back ups he might add to the RD list. He hasn’t heard back from anyone yet, so everything is still up in the air.
I am one of those parents who doesn’t have the portal logins, and I don’t intend to.
I do monitor the college emails daily for any important info.
Regarding college parents, yes, am astounded by parents who seem to know knitty gritty details of class assignments and text their kids constantly, whereas I cannot seem to keep track of what classes he is taking that semester.
DS17 was quite mature and responsible, so didn’t occur to us to monitor anything for him during college applications, other than the usual reminders or registering for SAT/ACT, or help with college list.
DD20 is not that mature, and am more conscious of teaching her life skills before sending her to college- sleep/eat/exercise, and learn to be responsible for her actions and decisions.
Recently read an article on “Grown and Flown”, about not giving too much advice, and instead try the “what do u think?’ track.
CC is kind of my “portal”, lol. DS20 is my one and only experience to this whole ____ (fill your blank here ?) experience, so when I read people talking about college portals, I will ask DS whether he has done it and then my job is done there.
But DS trusts my opinions and shares his several drafts of essays with me willingly and I do offer my advices there.
Whatever works to make us go through this process as smoothly/sanely as possible, I say is a good one!
One thing that we didn’t do with DS (but should have done) is creating a new email account for all college specific messages - it would have been a much better option to keep track. He used his personal email during PSAT/SAT registrations and we let him continue the same for all college specific accounts. He felt it’s too intrusive for us/parents checking his emails but is perfectily fine with sharing college portal log-ins with us. Its a temp arrangement until this college-admission circus is over (as per him and us/parents).
PS: I didn’t know that college portal is permanent if/when kid joins the college - learned something new today.
@hs2020dad in our case the college portal is totally different from the applicant portals. It is the entry to her administrative stuff at the school; where she had to upload her immunization record, fill out housing forms, and register for classes. It has no access to any info for any individual courses though.
I have had similar conversations with my oldest. At this point, we’re trying to figure out if he has the courses needed to graduate early and if there would be any benefit to taking more courses. Since I am footing the bill, I voice my opinion. I am likely to pay for him to stay and take extra classes that are pre-reqs to a graduate program. I am not likely to pay for underwater basket weaving or a minor just for the heck of it.
. Both wife and I had our undergrad education outside US (first gen immigrants). We attended US colleges as a grad students - but that process is very different (and it was long ago). As complicated as this process maybe, I have to admit that I am fascinated by it and can’t help but research and involve. Of course I am trying to be careful and not to overdo it.