So glad my story helped a bit. You really are doing and saying all the right things. Including running off to safely feel all your feelings and commiserating here
I understand your worries about the failure to launch. Iāve seen it happen to many. But you are luckily in control of whether or not it happens in your own home. I suspect it wonāt, since it sounds like you have some appropriate adulting expectations for your son, and that he is willing and able to meet those terms so far. Others have given some wonderful advice upthread.
Any updates will be welcome. Your situation isnāt rare by any means. However, itās not always easy to find supportive people who understand, and these exchanges are so valuable. In real life some people donāt talk about these things candidly, and itās nice to be able to chat about it here. Hang in there. Youāve got this!
And D23 is gone and back at school with classes starting today. We get our home back and no longer have to worry about what dishes are missing in the abyss that is D23ās room. We can go back to eating dinner in the family room and not at the kitchen table. It will be cheaper when we go get food or go out for dinner.
Needless to say it was nice having the kids back but we did get used to the routine of being empty nesters.
One nice thing was D23 and I were able to get the FAFSA done which is required based on her scholarship, but pointless for us.
D23 has another week at home. She heads back to Chicago on Sunday. She is in for a rather rude awakening as she has yet to experience real āChicagoā winter weather due to somewhat mild temps all semester before she left for break. The long range forecast shows a high of 13 degrees on Sunday and 5 degrees on Monday. And thatās without the wind chill. She told me most of her classes this semester are on the opposite side of campus, farthest from her dorm, so she will have some fun walks to class!
S23 also has another week at home and it has been so lovely having him here. We stay up late discussing books and politics. Heās skiing a lot and spending time with friends. Happily, those activities sometimes overlap. Weāre borrowing a friendās mountain house for some dedicated family time and extra r&r before he leaves. Just a few other housekeeping details left to do before he returns to Philly. Hope you all have enjoyed having your 23s home too.
S23 has been mostly staying at his dads and working (he works with his dad and dad drives him as he has no car). Barely talked to him. He gave me a hug and told me love you on New Years though (and has ghosted me since). So, not super great bonding time but alas, heās learning to adult and thats whats important.
S23 went back on Monday and classes started today. Unfortunately he is sick. I canāt tell how sick (cold-sick or flu-sick?) since Iām not there and he doesnāt communicate that much, but he has not had a fever. He did go to the first day of class today which is good for him staying on track and not letting his executive function issues derail his quarterā¦but not great for anyone he comes into contact with.
The good news is I gave him the advice someone here suggested about getting into a full class (email the professor explaining why you want/need to take the class, and then attend the first class session to see if you can get in). And he took the advice and got into the class he needed!
Huh.
This is interesting. Email my son got tonight from admissions at UF (my alma mater):
Share Your Opinion
We are conducting an online survey and greatly value your participation. The survey is designed for you to share your opinions of the University of Florida (UF) as someone who initially expressed an interest in UF but ultimately chose not to apply.
By sharing your opinion, you will be impacting future decision-making by the University.
As a thank you for participating, you will qualify to enter into a drawing for a chance to win a $25 Amazon gift card from the Universityās marketing partner, BVK, who is surveying on our behalf. Full drawing rules are available [here].
We hope you will choose to participate in the survey, which should take less than 15 minutes to complete.
Thank you for your consideration!
I will point out that my D19 also expressed interest, and even did the tour, and never got an email like this.
Fellow Gator alum here: interesting your son got that email. Iām glad to hear they are doing that .
However, on the subject of surprising things by UF, my S21 (who applied to UF and was accepted but chose to attend elsewhere) received a snail mail letter from UF alumni relations asking him to consider donating to UF!!!
Wild.
We tossed it.
Heās a junior at another university OOS.
My immediate conclusion ā probably wrong, but itās just the way I think ā is that theyāre trying to assess any fallout from the political climate in the state.
I hope my kid does the survey.
Obviously academics arenāt the general public, but as a professor, I can say that we are seeing a constant stream of professors from Florida universities applying for jobs in other states due to the policies.
I do think that the influence on student enrollment trends of all this is one thing they would examine.
āThe survey must be to gauge the fallout of the political climate in Florida!ā
āNo, the survey must just be an ordinary test of attitudes like many large organizations do!ā
My D heads back to school on Sunday and classes start again on Tuesday. We are going to miss her as there are not as many opportunities for her to come home this semester (we are six hours away).
She had a really great first semester, and is excited to go back. She made Deanās List, which made her happy. She was also elected treasurer of the student-run pep band and had a zoom meeting for that over break. Glad to see that she put herself out there - in high school she needed lots of encouragement from friends to do things like run for an office or volunteer to lead something. Now sheās excited to strategize some fundraising for band jackets and has reached out about restarting the bandās social media pages.
She had mixed success with theatre (sheās planning a Theatre/Creative Writing double major). She enjoyed her theatre class but struggled to find her footing with auditions. She ultimately did get cast in a one-act in November and was asked to stage manage another. Iām glad there were multiple opportunities for her beyond the main stage productions as she didnāt have any luck with those. She has a lot of experience with other aspects of theatre beyond acting and I wonder if she will ultimately focus more on those. Auditions stress her out. Sheās taking a playwriting course this coming semester and Iām interested to see how that goes for her. I think that is a good intersection of her skill sets and I could see her being successful in that type of writing.
She enjoyed her dance class but was really excited to find that the school runs a dance studio for young children as well. Sheās done some camps here at her home studio and loves working with little kids. I think sheās decided to try to complete a dance minor as well just to get involved with their studio.
While she was home she signed up to sub for grades pre-K to 8 in our local schools. She did one day at the Middle School and a handful of days at the preschool. It ended up being a good āschool breakā job that sheāll pick up again over spring break and when sheās home in May and our district (like many) is desperate for subs so it was great for them as well. If you have a college kid looking for flexible work when they are home for breaks and you think they would work well with kids then I highly recommend it!
which is good for him staying on track and not letting his executive function issues derail his quarterā¦but not great for anyone he comes into contact with.