Sorry! Maybe it is better to regroup than go this semester and not do well. Hang in there!
Maybe sheāll decide to come take a class or two at a cc. Or just veg for a few weeks and get a part time job.
Itās why I wish kids wouldnāt put so much - itās the dream, etc. it sounds great on paper but life is hard.
Iām sure sheāll regroup - either via working or some kids then really know whatās right for them after all and end back at a local school or less prestigious school that works better for them.
And now you get unexpected but rewarding time with your student at home. That part is priceless !! We all miss that !!
And itās great she had the awareness to not push it too hard and go back if she couldnāt handle it. Itās good she knew enough was enough.
Itās likely a small blip on a long race. Best of luck to you both.
I hope neither your daughter nor you look at this time as her ālosing a semesterā. She is reclaiming her time and spending it more productively than she would be if she stayed somewhere she is miserable socially and not even really enjoying the academics.
This is such a wonderful opportunity for her to take this time to think about what she wants, hopefully have better dancing available, and make a plan that works for her going forward.
Wishing her the best!
Agreed, not losing a semester, simply finding a different fit.
Shes going to do great things.
I hope he finds his buddies.
Orange after dark has alcohol free parties all the time. Video game room in Barnes? Gaming club? Econ club?
I donāt know the answer on this but is FA generally available to transfer students ? Just something to explore with your DD
At the places she is looking, yes.
Good news, they are letting her take a leave rather than withdraw.
It sounds like this is definitely the best move, and I know exactly what youāre going through.
My D19 withdrew from a semester (junior year) in the middle of Covid - mental health crisis. She was on a full tuition scholarship. The school worked with her so it was a leave. She came home for spring & summer, then returned in the fall. She didnāt lose her scholarship. She graduated on time (thank god for APs).
Treasure your time with her, and hopefully sheāll get the strength and confidence to figure out her path forward, whether at Hamilton or someplace else. Hugs!
My D23 was looking into being a sub because she doesnāt have Friday classes and she is in education. In MI or at least the area she is in you have to have 60 credit hours. With her AP and first semester and clepping out of a class she has 57 hours. She was definitely disappointed. She wanted to make some $$$.
Thanks, those are all great suggestions that I think he might try. Heās says he just needs one person to attend orange after dark with him, so I hope he finds one because the events look fun. He has also said he wants to try one of those clubs .
Iām really sorry to hear that. The good news is that sheās recognizing an issue, asking for help, and taking action. This reassurance likely rings hollow right now, but this has happened to so many people, and she is handling it well (all things considered). Sheāll figure it out and will find a good path. You are also handling it well by being so supportive and getting advice. Good job, mom and daughter.
Thatās a tough decision to make. Good for her for being strong to make it, and kudos to you that she felt like she could make that decision and not be afraid of disappointing her family.
I know an LAC has been her preference, but a large state school might have more opportunities for her to meet her people, and possibly more serious ballet dancers. My kids have found that they can make a large school small and find their group.
Good luck to your son! After 2 months my son felt like āeveryoneā had a friend group but him, and he decided to more intentionally focus on sticking to a few activities very regularly instead of dipping in and out of lots of different things.
For example, heād gone to the collegeās Magic the Gathering meet-up once, and it didnāt click for him immediately so he stopped going. He was comparing it to his hometown, small neighborhood shop that heās gone to weekly for yearsāof course the college group couldnāt measure up to that straightaway! We talked it through, I encouraged him to go back to the weekly meetings and he recognized that his expectations were misguided, that just because he didnāt click the first time or two, stick with it and just see what happens.
Sure enough, these days he really likes his college MTG group and he has a weekly get together with them now. Heās also a consistent member of 2 other activity groups now, and from there heās found his people.
I hope your son finds 2-3 groups that he can start getting together with on a consistent basis - if he can consistently keep it up for a bit of time, Iām sure heāll find a couple of folks that he clicks with. <3
I think the challenge would be that most large state schools with serious ballet dancers (places like Indiana, Oklahoma and Utah) confine performance opportunities to those in the BFA program. D18 did a ballet BFA and there was no way that a non-major would get cast (there werenāt enough spots in each show even for all the BFA students, most freshmen would not be cast or end up as understudies). Unless she is prepared for that level of commitment to dance, private schools with ample resources that offer BAs or minors in dance are likely to be a much better bet, as it would be easier to complete a double major (D18 did a double degree with her BFA but it was painful fitting in both a BFA and a BS Hons within 4 years - she had to take ~155 semester credits in total).
Alternatively, many of Dās peers (now sheās part of a professional company) have gone back and forth between college and dance companies, taking a year or two to dance before going back to college. Note that now through March-April is professional audition season, so if @AnonMomof2ās D is considering this route at all, she will need to move quickly to make some dance company applications if she wants to have options there for next year. Some companies require you to attend their summer program in June/July to be considered for next year, but they typically have an audition or shortlisting process beforehand, and summer program spots fill up by March/April. Donāt expect to get paid by a dance company in the first year or two though, you are fortunate if they donāt ask you to pay tuition and all you have to cover is your living expenses.
The first step is the hardest. My cuse freshman went to the ice cream social totally alone. He didnt know a single person.
Is he on any social media groups for his dorm? Or maybe email his RA to see if they have a group that goes together?
Thats a good suggestion, thanks. There are a couple groups heās popped into briefly that he should give another chance. I am really hoping heāll start going to the tabletop gaming club meetings, which he hasnāt tried yet. Heās not huge into that scene, but he enjoys the games enough and I think he could find friends there. Itās nice to hear that someone else has gone through something similar and found their niche.
I think so? I think he got kind of unlucky with his floor, honestly. I think the other floors in his dorm are better, but I donāt know how willing he is to explore those. I know he knows at least a few people in his new classes so Iām really hoping he can get some study groups going with them.
Sometimes it just takes a little bravery to put the message out there if āim going to xyz if anyone wants to join.ā
Hugs⦠First, you need to figure out is an issue her, school, or something else. Was she happy in HS with a lot of friends? Does she need to talk with someone to sort things out?
There may be many different things involved or even a combination of them.
I have 3 kids and they are totally different. One finds friends everywhere she goes and had a blast from the first day in college (I have no idea how she does it, actually I do⦠See my post below). She is that type of kid. Another sits around the computer and does not care about anything. Thirds is in-between and it took time to find her crowd in college.
So it is good that your child takes a break to think about what is next.
My sons floor is a bit too chill for him.
He meets up with kids from other floors mostly.
https://www.instagram.com/p/C2Ns4VZpKCD/?igsh=MXM5b2ZjYzV5d3YwNg==
@AnonMomof2
About the one that is having a blast from day one.
She did prep . Before making the final choice of colleges (she had a lot of choices), she went to Facebook, Instagram, and anything she could find about students, clubs etc. and scrolled for hoursā¦
She even ran an Instagram account for a prospective school that she eventually crossed from the list as not socially fit for herā¦
At her current school, she did not go random. She again scrolled and posted messages. She found several girls and contacted them. One ghosted her, one was ok, but one was clearly a match. They are roommates and soulmates now, literally almost like sisters.
DD also was posting on Instagram and communicated with many kids from her future college over the summer. By the time she moved in she had some pen friends, and some of them happened to be in the same dorm⦠All these kids are now the core of her friend group. They are going to lunches and dinners together, study together in the library (reserve big room for the team). They even went together for a weekend break⦠They are her family!
She pretty much built herself her friend group! (That was the same in HS, she always was a glue among friends who started all gatherings and activitiesā¦)
For the context, she was never a popular girl and actively dislikes that type⦠She is down to earth very humble and caring person (more like a psychologist and problem solver for everyone).
I understand that this is her personality and other people are different, but when she was younger she had difficulty to connect with kids due to her amazing social maturity. So, she was playing with approaches how to find other ādifferentā kids, and she perfected her approach.
She never had 20 friends, but she had core of amazing 5 friends in HS and now it is the same in college. I bet all of these kids (HS and college) are friends for life. I am jealous