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My '23 nephew asked his mom to come âhelp him learn how to grocery shopâ andâŠshe actually went. I think there was a little bit of missing each other on both sides there. There were a couple of other trips last semester that did not seem strictly ânecessaryâ in a logistical sense but it worked for them and I am proud auntie with how he is doing.
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Oh heâs order stuff from Amazon himself many times and groceries via DoorDash. My proudest moment, a few years back, is when he said I need pause so I can switch out my laundry. He has a paid laundry plan but he needs his workout gear sooner than the laundry service turns around. His dorm mates taught him how to do it. I figured I would teach him but they beat me to it.
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Yep, itâs not at all about the skills (they have google or friends for that), itâs about the connection and wanting to feel cared for/loved while spreading their wings. 
(Itâs just funny to see what excuses they come up with to get that connection)
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While girls are often more communicative (and my D20 is in the text me several times a week camp), I know things will be very different when my D24 leaves. She barely communicates with us (in person, via textâŠ) as it is now. She went abroad for a month last summer and even thought I insisted that she send proof of life daily (a photo or just a âhiâ text), I almost never heard from her. I am bracing for radio silence when she leaves.
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We send Connections and The Mini scores to our family each morning too. Need to keep that up next year!!
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My D25 introduced me to Connections and Iâve latched onto it for precisely the reason you state. It provides a daily touch point that can be as little as proof of life or an opportunity for deeper engagement if she needs that.
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D24 tells us everything about her school and such almost everyday, but she is preparing us to not expect phone interactions once she goes âawayâ to college. She complains that we now have too much time to listen to her âyappingâ away 
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I am very proud of my D24. This year she has started doing her own grocery shopping every week, knows how to do her laundry, drives herself to school activities and other things. Now the learning to pump her own gas has been a little comical but we are getting there. In her defense our whole state has just recently started letting people pump their own.
Also, if anyone has youngers I highly recommend a Greenlight debit card for kids. They can earn allowance for doing chores and if they need money for any reason you can just transfer it over to them. It even gives you alerts where they are spending. Even though my D will be ready for a regular debit card soon I may just have her continue using the greenlight one.
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D24 is the same. I expect to hear from her very little and, when I do, it will be short. I love the idea of sending a good morning text every day or at least a few times a week. I wonât expect to hear back but it will let her know Iâm thinking of her and to reach out if she wants/needs to.
I have been spoiled with D22 who calls every few days and texts nearly daily. Weâve always had a very close relationship where we communicated a lot whereas D24 has always kept me at a bit of a distance .
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My â21 kiddo texts frequently and occasionally calls if they are feeling bored on a long walk to class. The texts from the first month or so were hilarious as we found all the little things she didnât know how to do.
My â24 kid is very self sufficient so I donât expect those texts but neither of the kids seem to mind a quick text just to say hi. Pro tip: A text with a photo of the family pets always gets a response.
I donât remember a single call to my parents in college beyond maybe calling to say when I was coming home? The phone was down in the common area and I had a long distance calling card. I was independent emotionally and financially though, much more so than my kids.
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My D22 rarely texted. So I learned how to use Snapchat, and as long as I snap her, I get a snap back, at least one picture of her a day, and often conversation! 
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Most important tip out of over 8500 posts? It at least has to be way up there . . . .
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genius pro tip! Last christmas, we got our kids stickers of our dog - best present ever.
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Love that idea! Where did you have them made?
S24 went to a camp program last year where there was no technology so he had to go to a phone in a public area to call. We heard from him maybe once a week (and some was after emails to the administrator that I had to speak to him!) I have no good guess about how often he will be in touch. I think it depends on how many things he comes across that he doesnt know how to do! (And how difficulty his classes will be, ha!)
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Lol in Oregon they pump the gas for us. Looks like I need to teach that life skill before mine leaves.
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Great idea to send pet photos. We donât have pets, though I often send pics of the deer in the backyard. Or the snow. When those stop generating a response, I have been known to send a pic of a favorite stuffed animal.
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We live in NJ. My S21 was very confused the first few times he did it in North Carolina.
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I keep telling my son, Turn the car off and make sure itâs in park. He looks at me like Iâve got six heads, but I feel like too many people donât realize how easy it is to have an horrific accident if the car is still running while pumping gas.
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