Parents of the HS Class of 2024 (Part 2)

When we saw our son last weekend, he was in the process of growing a very sparse, patchy mustache and goatee. Definitely a new look for him. I don’t love it, but whatever. I dyed my hair a very unfortunate color in college and I survived, so I guess changing hair/style/accessories is part of the process. (I am curious if he will shave at Thanksgiving - his grandparents might be more outspoken about his new look)

5 Likes

Yes. She actually has several alarms and will just sleep through them. Not every day, but often enough that it will cause her issues. Further, there is an etiquette about alarms and roommates and she needs to learn to get up with minimal alarms and minimal snooze resets.

Oddly, she does well waking up for specific events, e.g., 3:30 or 4:00 am for debate and speech events, etc. Its just the daily 7:00 am wake ups that challenge her.

The only real solution that I see is to remove the stopgap of us waking her at a certain time each morning and let her deal with the consequences now.

3 Likes

We had a bad experience freshman year with my S18 who was on club sports and slept through the bus to Penn State and missed the whole meet. We were on the road to PSU and couldn’t raise him and had to turn around knowing he was out cold. He was mad at himself he missed that meet and I think it soured the club sport thing. I’m normally a “let them fail and learn” kinda guy but for special occasions when others are depending on them, I think they might need a little reminder.

So, with my S24, during Parents weekend, we had him turn on his ringer which is always off, Just in case. And yes it came in handy for Sunday brunch pickup……

4 Likes

Oh. My. Gosh.

Your kid’s roommate’s mom has definitely leveled up on the helicopter parenting thing. How is the roommate ever going to learn how to adult if Mommy & Daddy are wiping her butt from afar?

For what it’s worth, at parent orientation during move-in weekend, the VP of Student Affairs said in his presentation that he’s received questions from parents before asking if his office does wake up calls to freshmen. The answer to that is no…he advises (like a normal person would) to buy a good loud alarm clock and have your kid learn how to use it.

GOOD GRIEF!

5 Likes

I’m actually fascinated that so many kids can sleep through all the morning noise of a dorm. I mean most mornings are pretty loud.

1 Like

It could be worse. Someone’s kid got an eyebrow piercing :scream:

7 Likes

I think these kids who really can’t wake up must be chronically sleep-deprived. If I had a kid with this issue, I’d try to get them to the doctor (before they went to college!) for help with sleep problems. Maybe I’m wrong–maybe there are other possibilities. Certainly, substance use could do it (by deepening the actual sleep). Any other possibilities?

1 Like

I have kids that would sleep through alarms, also because they like white noise machines, even though there’s not really any background noise to drown out. Honestly, a FitBit with a vibrating wrist alarm has been the only thing that has worked for all of them.

It’s impossible to sleep through, and turning it off requires a couple distinct swipes. Usually it’s startling enough it’s hard to go immediately back to sleep.

3 Likes

You guys…the scooter talk continues. Help me, baby Jesus.

DH is now making plans for a play date with Scooter Steve to go out scooter’ing together because DH has decided that he wants to get a scooter for himself. I think that this is my husband’s midlife crisis vehicle. At least it’s not a bright yellow expensive sports car :racing_car:. :laughing:

14 Likes

Could not agree more! These are life skills and the kids need to learn them at some point.

My S22 has a chronic disease that can be fatal, especially while he sleeps. He was diagnosed in his early elementary years and my husband and I panicked every night for about a decade. S22 would sleep through all alarms and we constantly worried he would not be alive in the morning. We often were up with him many times during the night.

While he was in high school, we decided we needed to scale back and make sure he could wake up on his own to take care of himself so he could be able to go to college. We began equipping him with the tools he needed in order to wake up to take care of himself.

In a perfect world, with this disease, S22 really shouldn’t drink. We tried to encourage him not to do so, but that was a losing battle in high school. So instead, we also helped him learn how to be safe while drinking.

We took baby steps in allowing him to sometimes fail. It was so hard but my husband and I think giving our son these tools was one of the best parenting decisions we ever made. He’s now a junior in college and has adapted so well. He’s social, he does drink, and he’s so far stayed safe and healthy.

He’s very independent and we don’t worry about him (nearly as much as we used to) anymore.

12 Likes

So I got confirmation that S24’s second Chemistry quiz went much better than the first.

Ruinous grade inflation at WashU confirmed . . . .

10 Likes

It’s not the only place.

In the end, these businesses aren’t looking to push revenue away.

I’ll paddle quietly.

2 Likes

Talked to D24 last night. She’s going to a ‘drag brunch’ this weekend…a drag show but they serve brunch, too. :slight_smile: And this morning, she texted me in the middle of class to tell me she got a 9 out of 10 on a chemistry quiz today. :tada:

5 Likes

Kind of surprised to hear about parents waking up their college aged kids (and watching them walk to class - that is just creepy). In my view, you aren’t doing your kid any favors by that level of monitoring and involvement. Aren’t we hoping our kids will be functional adults? When does the snow plowing stop? By taking away their agency we are basically saying we don’t believe in them, that they aren’t capable. Not a great message.

15 Likes

I absolutely agree with you in theory. But the previous poster’s point about starting earlier than college is really the answer right? Because if the only thing standing between your child and a college degree is a morning phone call, then it’s understandable to a point. That does NOT mean that calling the roommate is ok, that’s pretty outrageous. But, the lesson should have been taught years ago.

I’m lucky that my daughter was such a monster in the morning that we got her an alarm clock in preschool (!) so we wouldn’t have to wake her up. Once she could control her mornings herself, she was fine. Her brother is a morning person, thank goodness.

1 Like

But when does it stop? Are parents going to wake their working age child up so they get to work on time and don’t lose their job? At some point kids need to take on the task of adulting. Continuously pushing that off isn’t helping them. Just my opinion.

2 Likes

I agree with you. The right thing to do would have been to stop waking them up in middle school.

2 Likes

I’m pretty sympathetic to teenage sleep issues. My lowest grades in high school were consistently in my first period classes in which I was usually tired, and I remember I’d often sleep for 12 hours straight on weekends (and it wasn’t due to partying or staying up late). My S28 now does the same thing. I also remember that I would occasionally sleep through my alarm, which is impossible for me as an adult. Anyhow, I think a lot of kids between 13 and 20 are growing and dealing with puberty and need sleep in a physiological manner that transcends mere laziness. Were up to me, high school classes would begin at 10 a.m.

On the flip side, now that I’m middle aged and always wake up before 6 a.m. regardless of bedtime, I wish I could occasionally have long sleep sessions to recover on the weekend.

4 Likes

High schools do kids no good. Elementary kids should go to school first. High school last. But instead high school typically goes first.

Sleep studies show hs kids go to bed later and wake up later.

Many are in a trance through early periods. Some districts have corrected and others are looking at it - like mine.

The concern with elementary first is it being dark while waiting for the bus.

5 Likes