Well, S25 got his first rejection today from UNC Chapel Hill. We knew how unlikely the statistics were, but it still stings.
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Really?! My D25 didn’t get that from Hope! She just got a note from her admissions counselor, not even stickers!
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Oh bummer! The magnet in particular is my favorite, I still have it on my fridge even though D23 didn’t attend. Keep an eye out for an email about the sweatshirt, I think it came later and she had to fill out a form requesting it or a hat.
I just realized you said D23 not 25. Maybe they aren’t doing the sweatshirt anymore. She’s been in there since November, so I doubt anything else is coming at this point.
I guess the pedicure color choice worked: S25 just got an acceptance to NC State for engineering. Despite his grades and SAT score, I was truly sweating this one. I might have cried a little from relief when he sent me the screen shot text.
Virtual hugs to all who are hearing today. I know we aren’t all getting the news we want.
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Yay! Congrats!
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I wanted my son to apply there (Great school) but they didn’t have his major.
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woo-hoo! that is awesome!
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WOOT! I know what a big deal this is. I’m relieved and excited for you.
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The only good news surrounding today’s rejection, was that S25 was with the track team, and at least three other kids had applied. None of them got in and two of them were devasted, as it was their top choice. Not good that they were devasted, but good that he realized that although he was disappointed, it could be worse, he wasn’t as upset as those two.
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I just realized how cold my note above sounds. I don’t mean it that way, and I really do feel badly for the two who were so upset today to not get in. I think what I was trying to say was that it put it into perspective for him. He wasn’t that upset, so what does that say.
We talked about it for a bit after he got home and, while he’s disappointed, he did say that maybe his heart has always been more with Clemson anyway. And yeah, that’s been obvious for weeks if not months.
Then he said something really surprising to me, that he thought UTK had fallen way down his list, below Pitt. He’s decided that it’s just too big - mostly because he really doesn’t want to deal with the housing drama after freshman year. He knows he’d likely have to move off campus at all the schools he’s looking at, but we’ve just heard so much drama out of UTK for housing, how expensive it is, how the school is planning to grow their incoming classes which makes it seem like it will only get more expensive, etc.
He seems to think that he could save money at Clemson by living further away and driving to campus and while, yes, that would likely be cheaper. There are two problems with that - living a 20 minute drive from campus isn’t going to appeal to him, at all, once he gets there. And two - Clemson isn’t going to come in cheap enough to buy him a car unless there is some kind of insane miracle with the merit aid, which I can’t imagine. The highest they gave last year seems to be $12k, and given that they’ve gotten even more applicants this year, i’d guess they’ll bring that amount down this year. And at that sticker price, no car.
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Given these #s, I find myself hoping that VT ends up being more compelling, even if he doesn’t get Stamps. It’s interesting that the big football atmosphere spoke to him there b/c of the schools he’s considering, I’m not sure that’s a huge differentiator. Don’t they all have pretty rah-rah D1 sports scenes? even Pitt? (not like Southern football school, but I hear it mentioned often enough about Pitt that I believe it.)
Our family members who went to VT were all in on Hokie pride. Even the geeky ones. 
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S25 is in at Richmond. Yay! But no mention of merit. Boo!
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I understood it as deferred from honors at Clemson, not Clemson itself?..
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There are plenty of reasonably priced off campus apartments much closer than 20 minutes from campus. Also not as ideal but there are Clemson buses that stop at many of the apartment complexes closer to campus.
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D25 is in at American University. No merit though. D25 likes the Instagram page of the kids there. Says the kids look diverse and interesting. Anyone here have any first-hand experience with American? I am trying hard to picture my soft, suburban, west-coast kiddo making it in Washington D.C.
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Not exactly first hand but one of D19’s besties from high school went there. Also suburban west coast … she loved it. (We liked it a lot when we visited too.) it’s kind of suburban rather than being “in” DC. We loved the story of them trick or treating down embassy row on Halloween!
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So my son had an utter meltdown today after being deferred from yet another school. To the point I had to email his counselor to tell her to check in on him.
He’s fed into this insane narrative that to be successful you have to go to a top 20 school and I’m like that’s 100% not true, but he won’t listen.
So he’s been in his room in the dark. And I just listened and didn’t speak because he told me he didn’t want to hear my positivity and to just not talk because he didn’t want to hear it. So I’m letting him have the night.
So, yeah, I hate this process and everything because and it’s totally broken. I’m tired of people defending it. I’m tired of thread after thread being like well he just wasn’t good enough. I’m angry at my husband for feeding this narrative to him as well.
It’s been a horrible night
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I’m so sorry. This whole process can suck all self esteem out of kids. It really is not how it should be. These kids work so damn hard and in no way does a deferral or rejection mean you’re not good enough. It just means there are not enough spots. I think sometimes AO’s must play the eenie meenie minie mo game when they have so many good apps in front of them, especially at the very big schools with far too many apps.
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I’m so sorry. Sending virtual hugs to you and your kiddo.
Honestly, I think that would be the hardest – to have a high-flying kid who’d checked all the boxes, done absolutely everything they could, who looks on paper like the other kids who get into UNC, or MIT, or CMU, etc. What can you tell them? They didn’t do anything wrong. They’re just caught up in a horrible game that pretends to be meritocratic but almost certainly isn’t, and the outcomes even for the “winners” sure don’t seem to justify the angst. And most 17 year-olds simply don’t have the life experience to grok this.
I’m trying to remember where he’s gotten in so far – Delaware? Purdue? Are there any events he could sign up for that might help him reframe his internal narrative? Can you box him up and take him off the grid for day or two so he can touch grass? (metaphorically speaking, anyway, because I don’t know many places where there’s actual grass in January)
Editing to add – our friend’s brilliant kid is THRIVING at Purdue – absolutely loving it, coming into his own, trying new things, learning a ton, etc. Everything one would want from a college experience. I do not think it was his first or second choice, coming out of a standard Silicon Valley pressure cooker environment. But I don’t think they’ve looked back. I really hope something similar happens for your son.
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