Parents of the HS Class of 2025 (Part 1)

We have made it to Virginia Tech for second admitted students day! So far so good and also so hysterical. First, the drive was lovely. It’s amazing how short 4.5 hours feels when the week before it was 9+. Plus the redbuds were blooming along the road, the grass and trees were really green and the mountains just looked beautiful. A seriously nice ride. Second, we ate dinner in downtown Blacksburg - went to a hole in the wall pizza place - pizza was awesome and it was good to be in the middle of what is clearly a student place. Lots of kids milling around, looking like a fun vibe. We walked a little bit through the little downtown area, but not for too long. All along S25 was saying “I can’t use this to compare to Clemson, it’s not fair since I didn’t get to see fun nightlife there.” Which suggests to me that he’s liking what he sees. Then third, our hotel. This is the hysterical part. On Wednesday, we got a call from the hotel we were supposed to be in that it was overbooked and our reservation was cancelled. We scrambled and were able to find a different hotel. And… it’s hysterically awful. Case in point, the bathroom door is a sliding barn door. I went in the bathroom and, when I went to leave, the handle is missing on the door. My son had closed it behind me - from the outside - after I went in so I hadn’t noticed. So there I was, trapped in the bathroom. I tried to dig my fingers in at the end but couldn’t, so I ended up banging on the door and half shouting to be heard over the tv so someone could rescue me. The good thing about this is that it’s SO BAD that we are just laughing at the ridiculousness of it.

Right now S25 is supposed to be working on homework. Instead, we’re watching the Caps game, and just saw Ovie tie Gretzky. Son is doing zero work. That’s ok, this is a moment to enjoy.

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Well, beyond the bathroom without a fully functional door and the hotel cancelling your reservation on you :flushed_face:, it sounds like exactly what I’m hoping for out of our Hokie Focus visit starting tonight.

My fingers are crossed for you that the Saturday events makes a really good impression on everyone, especially your S25, and that you don’t have any more weird hotel debacles!! (And hoping we get the same…..good impressions and reasonable room and board :rofl:!)

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Update: my new boss decided to fire me yesterday over email. I knew she was an awful human but this takes the cake. Luckily I secured a loan for the first year the day before, so now I have a little over a year to worry about year 2. Time to hustle and find a new job. You’d think being a recruiter would help, but it’s rough out there.

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@OctoberKate We had a similarly terrible experience with a hotel at an open house for juniors last year. The place was not at all what it appeared in photos. I don’t know how it had high ratings. Everything else was booked. The lobby was meh, but as you walked down the hall, the quality progressively declined. The carpet went from new to old to gross. The room had big patches of wall that had been repainted. And when I look out the window, I saw the pool. It was a mucky, dark green with debris floating on top. We joked that they forgot to include private lagoon in the amenities list. As bad as it was, it did not deter D25 from the school! I hope your son loved Virginia Tech despite the hotel.

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I’m so sorry to hear this. That sucks! Sending lots of positive vibes your way in your job search!

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awful awful awful, I am so sorry that has happened.

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I’m so sorry.

Sigh. I loved our VT trip. The one negative was the info session for your college - S25 is majoring in Building Construction which is in the College of Engineering. S25 and I had a bet as to if there would be reference to his major - the bet was 1.5 sentence of reference and I took the over. I claim I won because two slides during the presentation said “this does not include building construction” - which is two sentences of reference. S25 says negative reference doesn’t count, so he won.

Point being, we sat through an hour in really uncomfortable seats for a presentation that had zero relevance. So that’s the downside.

But the opening welcome presentation was lovely. Really informative and the presenters felt like real people sharing information. Maybe because it was a smaller crowd than Clemson, but it felt more like a conversation and less like a pep rally. But it was also much less rah rah - and S25 is very interested in the rah rah. Clemson had a DJ and a marching band and baton twirler and cheerleaders. VT brought the therapy dogs.

And the food really did kick butt. We went to the all you can eat cafeteria - I just made a salad, but first I had a half dozen steamed shrimp and I had crème brûlée for desert. We did a lot of walking and the campus looked beautiful and we saw a fair number of students today…. Especially at the dorm that had a fire alarm pulled (we heard it go off walking towards it and by the time we were passing it the fire department was there with a truck - speedy response). We did the dorm tour after that - which was fine. Nothing special. Some have A/C, some don’t. I suspect if S25 went there he would not get A/C because he’d have a late lottery number.

The information fair was pretty robust, we talked with folks from the disabilities office and the health center, both were helpful. Then we spent some time just sitting outside in the shade (it was hot today) watching students hanging out.

We had to kill time until 4:00 when the School of Construction had an info session. But I am So Glad we did. It was great - there were just two prospective students (counting us). This was NOT well publicized. Like we only knew because Zack emailed directly. Someone even asked during the engineering info session if there were any major specific sessions and the guy said no.

Anyway, it was a great presentation, super interesting and useful information. In addition to the faculty person leading it, they had three students who participated and they had good insights. But more than that, you could see how comfortable they were with the professor. We heard a lot about the program and the philosophy behind it, career preparedness, project opportunities and other good info. Then they took us on a tour of the two construction buildings and took us into the cool big tool rooms and showed us projects people were working on. It was a really good presentation.

S25 couldn’t help but be impressed.

Despite that, though, I think he’s still leaning Clemson. He kept saying things like “I’m sure Clemson is like this too, we just couldn’t see it”. Or “I wish there was a presentation like this at Clemson.” And “I mean sure, the food is better here, but Clemson food is fine, it wasn’t bad.”

On the program side I wanted to tell him - we did register for something like this! We did what was supposed to be about the college that includes three schools, and they only talked about the other two. We did a tour a year ago that was supposed to be about three, they only talked about two. We did a virtual presentation that was supposed to be about all three - they did have a 20 minute breakout session specific to construction, but there was no presentation, just an opportunity to ask questions. We’ve been trying to learn more and they really don’t have much to say. It might be awesome, but it’s a major of about 30 students a year, at VT it’s more like 100. At Clemson they have a hallway; at VT they have a whole brand new building, and half of another.

All that said, the Clemson program isn’t bad,
Not at all. It’s just that the VT program is probably better resourced.

And yet, I’m nearly certain he’s going to choose Clemson.

Why?

While walking around today we also saw three people that he knows. It’s a huge school, but of course we saw people. And that’s the real problem for him. It doesn’t feel special or unique. Clemson captures the imagination and feels more bragworthy. I get the feeling that he’s almost embarrassed about VT.

Sigh.

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I’ve been waiting for this write up all afternoon, and you did not disappoint. I’m so, so glad that it went as well as it did. It sounds like you know what your S25 is weighing, much as you have with your other posts. I hope that when he comes to you with his decision, he is genuinely happy.

And yes, I hear — and honor — the sigh. Hugs to you.

(I’m reluctant to put a tangent on your visit, yet I think it might (?) amuse: like you, we drove 3 1/2 hours to step on the VT campus, and just half an hour after starting to walk around the drill field, we walked right by our neighbor from a block down the street, who is also a senior this year. My son hasn’t had a class with this girl in two years, and yet…here she was with her mom. So weird.)

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Why are the people we know Right There? The first one we saw I was like ok, gonna happen, NBD. Then another popped up right after that and by the third I was resigned to hearing SOMETHING negative from S25.

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Well no dice. They were very nice and promised to review our appeal, but basically they were like the formula is the formula, and it isn’t likely.

Oh well, we’re still going so I guess they’re right

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Delete.

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Surely a business decision involves money? Where’s the “you have X budget for college, if you spend all of it on an OOS college you’ll have zero left. If you spend Y instate then you’ll have X-Y left which will buy you…”?

If it’s just the parents thinking to themselves “we’ll have money left” instead of the student thinking “I’ll have money left” it’s no longer a business decision.

ETA: I’m just pointing out that unfortunately the conflict between “a business decision” and an “emotional” decision to make kids happy is what can lead to financial problems downstream (especially in an economy like today).

Most families have to focus largely on financial constraints. Some have the luxury of not having those constraints. And others can weigh up whether it’s “worth” paying more. But if the parents are the ones with financial constraints, while the kid is focused primarily on the emotional part and doesn’t see direct financial consequences, then it can end up like our neighbors (a divorced couple neither of whom was prepared to say no who let their kid go to a lower ranked OOS public at nearly double the cost, simply because the sorority life was better). The kid loves it, the parents’ finances (already shaky after the divorce) not so much.

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So they said a change in income doesn’t have any impact on what they will give you then?

Well, he said that he thinks the change in income is likely not significant enough to trigger more aid. He also said it’s a very involved process.

He didn’t say this but LMU isn’t a “meets needs” school so they don’t always give enough aid anyway.

I wouldn’t take my case as an omen for yours though. I still have my job, and we had already saved half the amount. So, they figure that we could probably make it work, our son just might need to take a loan and my wife can find with at some point. Which is reasonable. He said that if we did both lose our jobs, that would definitely trigger a review.

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Okay, thank you. I plan to give a call to our Financial Aid office tomorrow. My worry is more that when I do the Fafsa for next year it will be based on 2024 which was my highest earning year. :frowning: I guess we shall see. Just thinking happy thoughts for now.

I would suggest still pricing out the RT even if one-way sounds logical. In fall of 2023, we bought a RT for S22 for August and returning in December (guessing as to when finals would be done) as the RT was less than the one way leg alone. As it turned out, he used that back home anyway and then we had to fly him from home to Vegas and then to college later for a field trip before spring semester started.

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Except it frequently isn’t a clean slate. Mine is in a similar (in some ways) difficult decision making process to OctoberKates. It’s not a clean slate when 50-60 of your HS classmates will be ant School A even though it’s a state away. When 2-3 people that played your sport are somewhat likely to play that club sport again so you would still see them all the time . When there is inevitably someone from your HS on your dorm floor or at lunch.

Mine has all but pulled the trigger on accepting the college that is as much as possible a clean slate. TBH… she is also in the “Clemson would be amazing” camp as both of yours are but has let that one go because there will be grad school in the future and the extra cost can’t be justified, as well as for a couple other reasons related to that we couldn’t verify the quality of the specific program. Despite it being far enough to require a plane flight, She will go to School B where she knows another classmate is also choosing, but it’s not 50. We know a former teammates BF is going there (and suspect that teammate may as well). she knows the program doesnt have the same reputation as School A, but we also know that she needs a fresh break from these HS people and that she will do best if she is happy.

Our oldest chose the school where he got a genuine clean break, and it was the best thing for his growth and we couldn’t be more proud of what he is doing now. The middle one did the same and is about to announce his next amazing journey. Would they have succeeded at a more local school? We will never know. But there is something to be said for making yourself uncomfortable and giving yourself a chance to pursue your dreams and find your people, unburdened by what happened before.

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I’m so sorry. Basic human decency has left the building. Have the guts to tell someone to their face!

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We went to Marylands admitted students day yesterday. It was a disorganized waste of time. And I went to UMD, my husband went to UMD, my oldest goes to UMD, my mother worked at UMD!

I was so angry and disappointed in how badly it all went. Their motto may as well be “Maryland: we DGAF if you come”

they started late so the engineering panel was rushed. The student walking us to the major specific was on a power walk and several members of the group couldn’t keep up so she kind of left them in the dust, which embarrassed them. Then the students in the major panel were freshman and a new transfer so they had no information about classes, internships or research, etc, which is what most people want to know about.

Then we hoof it back uphill at a pace I’d consider a power walk and those two poor women were literally drenched in sweat and terribly embarrassed because their kid was upset by it. Go to study abroad, get a seat, presentation starts and then 12 min in we were told there were so many people who couldn’t get in they wanted to move rooms. So we got up, moved and she RESTARTED THE PRESENTATION. Then it was rushed because you know 20 min lost.

No break for lunch (which you had to pay for on your own, plus no waters to be found anywhere).

Walked over to another building for his honors program presentation. Decided to take a scenic route since it’s on McKeldin mall. Door was locked on that side, had to walk around to find the doors that were open.

Presentation had a student panel that seemed to have no clue how to answer questions on a panel. One, when asked “why maryland” said “because it’s cheap”. Well sign me up!

Then walked over to union, got lunch which we paid a premium for at union. kid went to go on a lab tour I wasn’t allowed to join, but someone he knows stopped him for a question since they know we know the campus well and the group took off without him so he just came back.

A total and complete pile of doo doo.

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