My S24 is currently on a gap year. We parents felt that he needed a year to mature and work on EF/ADHD issues with coach/dr. We also felt that he needed a break from a pretty rigorous/stressful (for him) high school environment as he is going into mechanical engineering. We wanted him to start off on the right foot. He, on the other hand, felt that he was ready and wanted to start with his friends.
All in all I think he will agree that it was a good call and has enjoyed his time off. He traveled a bit visiting friends in September on the East Coast (we have miles and he stayed with the friends in dorms). He then spent 3 months working in Spain (Spanish was the language he took in high school) and then just returned from a month in Australia volunteering with a reef restoration group on the Great Barrier Reef. That he said was the best experience. We had him figure out the logistics pretty much, used miles for the flights, and he stayed in an apartment in Spain and a hostel in Australia. He visited again with friends on the East Coast on his way back to the states.
Now heās back and going to do all the college prep stuff he would have done last year. Heās also working at a sleep away camp as a counselor for 9 weeks this summer. Oh and with the Spain job he did computer coding which is something heās not very familiar with and he would have needed to take a class last summer in prep for college, but now he knows the programs he was going to learn for college and doesnāt need to take the class anymore.
He initially presented us with some very expensive gap year trip options that looked amazing but were too expensive and just looked like a glorified teen tour. So we sent him back to the drawing board. He had a good friend who also took a gap year and she spent a lot of time on a few different NOLs trips, which were not his cup of tea, but she loved them. He made a bunch of friends in Spain and Australia and canāt wait to travel again.
All in all I think (hope) it was worthwhile for him and it will help him be in a good place for college. Only time will tell.
Dude, we canāt catch a break. Remember how stoked I was JUST YESTERDAY after the awesome senior night track meet? Didnāt even last 24 hours.
I got home yesterday and S25 was home, which was odd, I thought heād be at practice. I could hear he was in the shower, so I figured practice just ended early. Nope. He was in the shower because heād had headache, fever and chills all day. He left school before practice and just sat for an hour, trying to feel better. We donāt happen to have a test (and what would we do even if we knew) but this is exactly how COVID started for him the last couple times he got it.
My poor kid. Heās obviously out of school today and missing the track invitational on Saturday (likely his last chance to qualify in long jump). Heās got three AP exams next week and this weekend has so much work to do to try to catch up and close out the year. It was going to be a really hard weekend anyway, now I donāt see how he gets even half of it done. Iām going to try to get out of work early today to head home and bring him some gatorade and ice cream. Poor guy.
Love so much that people are circling back to share their final decisions. Hereās to the class of '25 and their journey ahead!
My college graduation ended with this Irish blessing and I always think of it at graduation time: āMay the sun shine gently on your face and may the rain fall soft upon your fields. May the wind be at your back. May the road rise to meet you."
So cool to hear about everyoneās decisions! Iām excited for all of your kids. These last weeks are going to go so quickly. Itās hard to believe that weāll be getting ready to move them in to their dorms in a few months.
S25 is managing OK. He is so over school in general. Heās got his capstone presentation today. One AP next week. The other one he is taking on the makeup today because he will be at the all state band festival. Heās not eligible to take the AP Lit exam unfortunately, so heās sitting through those review sessions and finding it super tedious. I wish he could take it because I think he is far better prepared for it this time around, but so it goes. He can not wait to be done with his classes. Track season is just getting started with the first major invitational for us this weekend. Thereās been some drama around event assignments, but heās been navigating that pretty well and so far weāve been able to largely step back and just be a sounding board.
His graduation is on a Monday morning, but we havenāt made any plans for that afternoon. Weāll be doing a joint party with another graduate a few weeks after the fact (they are traveling right after graduation, and S25 still has track meets after graduation). I hadnāt thought of maybe doing a low-key open house type thing on the Monday - that could work, but we live 40 minutes from school, so Iām not sure his friends will really want to schlep it over here. Struggle of the moment is getting him to change his work start day to something earlier than mid-to late Juneā¦ he is going to drive me bananas sitting around once heās done with school, even if he will still have track practice until at least the second week of June!
We arenāt for S25 because of sports. However, we may for S27 - hard to tell if it would mean he never goes on to college or if it will help him clarify a plan. I think weāll have a better idea in a year or so.
My nephew did a NOLS trip and then took a second year off to work in the family business. He started as a freshman at our in-state public this fall and is enjoying it, despite being a few years older than the average freshman. The NOLS experience was life-changing for him. That, in combination with working for our family business, really helped shape his plans for what he wants to study. His sister is also taking a gap year. She will be WWOOFing it in Europe with a friend for at least part of the year. She is an experienced traveler though and an adventurous spirit.
My son in the end couldnāt even decline Carnegie Mellon or Maryland, he was like I just canāt do it mom. I said I could and he told me no. So we just let them go into the ether. I said he should email CMU and tell them how much he truly loved their school but just couldnāt afford it in the end.
Even though my S25 is super excited about his commitment to his true 1st choice school (VT), I get the sense heās starting to feel a little panic/buyers remorse about his decision to move across the country without knowing a soul there. Alot of his friends are sticking closer to home and all are rooming with kids they either know from high school or through a friendā¦heās been scouring the IG page trying to find a roommate but keeps saying its really difficult to know what theyāre actually like. I know in the end this will be an amazing growth experience for him but its not easy!
D19 was also in that situation and somewhat terrified, but ended up having the best time and making such good friends (as well as meeting a serious boyfriend!)
Swap out the state name for MA, CT, or NY and we could very well be in your shoes in two years, depending on how the chips fall at the state schools (CA) for D26.
Could anyone please advise if we should submit/inform college about pollen allergies when submitting housing forms?
My son has severe pollen allergy from mid-March to the end of May every year. We deal with this with allergy medicine and running three air purifiers in our house, including one in his bedroom. A couple of times it got so bad that it lead to severe nose bleeds that we had to call 911.
My son recently went to an admitted student event at Yale for 3 days, and in the dorm where he slept, they had to keep the windows open at night for circulation. He mentioned it was because they had to sleep in the common area, and there was no ventilation there. He ended up with pretty bad allergy symptoms.
He committed to Yale. My question is if we should submit a housing accommodations form? I am hoping, if there is a dorm that has less need for opening windows he would be placed in that and he would be allowed to bring a air purifier for spring and humidifier in winter. Not looking for AC or single room or anything of that sort as my son wants to have roommates and be with other freshmen.
I am greatly indebted to many regular contributors who have been immensely helpful over the last couple of years. A special shoutout to hebegebe, who has advised us offline as well.
It canāt hurt to submit the accommodation form, the worst they can say is no. But for it to be successful, you will probably need some kind of note from your doctor. You may also want to reach out either to the accommodations staff or residence life staff to discuss. Iām thinking the rooms may not have AC (a lot of New England schools donāt have AC in many of their dorms), which in and of itself isnāt a huge deal, but it could mean that kids keep windows open in the early fall and later spring. My son brought both his air purifier and de-humidifier (he has a serious mold allergy) and both were useless because the windows in his dorm were open year round (too hot in the early fall, needed the air; in the winter the heat was too high in the dorm, still needed the outside air). Most colleges have a section on housing where they describe the dorms, maybe look and see if some have AC and set those as his target dorms. I donāt think bringing the equipment would be a problem (even without an accommodation) but finding a dorm that doesnāt need windows open could be a challenge.
I donāt have personal experience with my own kid, but I have friends who have gotten special rooms for their kids with various medical issues with little fuss or muss at a couple of colleges w/ a doctors note.
Piping in to say it canāt hurt to ask. You are far more likely to be successful with a doctorās note and as specific accomodations as can be stated. My sense is most schools try to be accommodating when there is clarity around what that accommodation looks like.
Many decades ago, my pollen allergies became so terrible at school that I was referred by the infirmary to someone at the universityās (excellent) hospital. My doctor there told me that I was āclassicā in my extreme reaction to my new climateās allergens. My care was excellent and I ended up in a clinical trial for a drug I still take (and odds are, your kid does too!) I share this story as it could also be worthwhile to see if you can identify an excellent allergist at YNHMC before your child actually arrives and needs them.
Just adding to the number of last-minute decision makers, lol. Down to the wire, but our D25 finally went with Skidmore. The bio department isnāt quite as good for her as at Denison, but it has a solid environmental science program and a lot more visual art and dance offerings, which made a real difference to her. Itās also nice itās a 3:45 drive instead of two plane rides. We did a quick second visit early this week in much better weather and she really liked it. Sheās not so thrilled about the tiny triples for first years, but sheāll survive.
