So all students should have boring basic dorm rooms so no one gets hurt feelings? Why stop there? Everyone should have the same computers, phones, clothes, shoes, toiletries, jewelry, experiences, travel, hair cuts…
And then maybe we can ensure equality of outcome by giving all students the same grades…
Many colleges do actually have the same basic dorm rooms and don’t allow changes in furniture. Sorry, I thought you were asking a genuine question about why southern schools have a bad rap - was it rhetorical? It was an honest answer, and is a reason why some people don’t want to go to them, doesn’t mean you have to agree with it.
Um, excluded middle much?
Decorating a dorm room does not mean that “wealth is being thrown in” other students’ faces, anymore than it does if someone is wearing name brand clothing vs. Walmart brand clothing.
“Decorating a dorm room” can mean a variety of things. Putting up some posters and spending thousands of dollars on custom furniture and furnishings that will be used for a year is not exactly the same thing.
How do you know that they will only be used for a year?
And it’s not your money, so why do you care?
Just to be clear, I am not spending anywhere near that amount of money for my daughter’s dorm room, but if I were…it’s my money…who cares? There are plenty of parents here easily spending double what we are on tuition and room and board…their money, their choice.
That has nothing to do with the excluded middle. If someone says that it is best for there to be limits on what gets spent to decorate dorm rooms, that does not mean that they’re saying that everyone should have exactly the same basic boring dorm furnishings.
Basically, you were putting words in the mouths of your interlocutors by ascribing an extreme position to them. That’s not cool.
Why should there be limits on what gets spent on dorm room decor? Who gets to decide that and why?
That is what isn’t cool. How I spend my money is no one else’s business, and it’s not my business how anyone else spends theirs.
You asked a question, i answered it. (It’s not me that cares who spends what.) you clearly don’t like the answer, which is your prerogative. That’s fine.
Live and let live. It makes for a happier life.
That is my only point.
In a vacuum, this is true.
When dealing with the difficulties of being a participant in a wider society, it isn’t always.
(I’m thinking a bit of my C17, who was a “scholarship kid” at a SLAC with a proportionally sizable population of very wealthy students. There was a bit of conspicuous consumption that at times left my kid feeling socially excluded because she couldn’t similarly participate.)
[quote=“dfbdfb, post:1151, topic:3687872”]
NM.
Are you legitimately kidding me??
Like, are you listening to yourself even a little bit right now?
I realize that you feel like people were criticizing you upthread for your actions (when, as far as I can tell, they weren’t), but even if you were being criticized that is seriously no reason to dig your heels in like this.
Please move on from the back and forth about dorm room decorating budgets.
And a reminder that CC is supposed to be a friendly and welcoming place.
Thank you!
SO. Changing gears. I have a weird random thing that’s been niggling in the back of my head. Once S25 heads off to school, we will be empty nesters.
I don’t know how to cook for two people. Well, that’s not quite right. I don’t know how to cook for the two people left in our house (me and husband). It’s not just cutting down and making less, it’s what do I cook? My husband doesn’t eat vegetables. Like, at all. He eats iceberg lettuce and celery. I don’t particularly like either of those. So when i cook now, I make either something that has vegetable as a side dish for me and whichever of my boys are home, or something that I can do in two pans (like stir fry that gets split into two pans - one is just chicken and cashews, the other is chicken, cashews, all the vegetables; or a build a little aluminum foil wall in the casserole dish for stuff like enchilada casserole so only one side gets corn and peppers.)
But when the boys aren’t home I REALLY don’t want to be essentially making two different dinners for just two people. And I don’t think I can eat all the vegetables by myself before they go bad. I never wanted to be the short order cook, making individual meals for each person, but i also don’t want to prepare food that is great for me but that I know my spouse won’t eat.
I’m also vaguely worried that I’ll fall into the trap of “eat whatever” which could 100% turn into me essentially eating cheese and crackers for dinner every night.
Anyone else in a similar about to be an empty nest boat, thinking about how meal prep will change? I mean, I’m looking forward to the less expensive grocery bills, and not having to buy So Much Milk. But other than that, I’m feeling like this is going to be a bit of a challenge for me. And what I don’t want to do is fall into the trap of deciding to go out to eat all the time - that’s way too expensive a habit to develop (the one real positive for me about COVID was that I broke my habit of going to Starbucks everyday, and I don’t ever want to fall back into that kind of accidental/unconscious spending on food…)
Yes, this is a real concern. My husband and I do like to eat the same thing, but I am worried about having left overs for days. Neither of us will eat the same thing more than two times. I really hate throwing food out. I am going to need to adjust alot of recipes.
Right? I don’t mind eating leftovers for lunch the next day, but I don’t want the same thing for dinner and lunch multiple times in a row. I’m thinking that a lot of the quick and easy things I do - like slow cooker stuff - will be too much. Like I don’t want to make chili or pot roast for just two people.
I have a really hard time throwing food out. (I feel like this is directly attributable to my mom telling me to clean my plate when I was little because “the starving children in Africa” would love that food. I have tried hard to not perpetuate the “clean plate club” with my kids.) But I’m also trying really hard to be more mindful about what I eat - and not fall into the trap of just eating the last three bites of whatever so it doesn’t go to waste. I feel like there’s going to be a lot of food re-learning going on for me.
agree 100% and I am one that likely came off judgy..I don’t think anyone doubts that the schools have dedicated students (and faculty) at these (and really all) schools.
And the schools have no way to control this, but I would add the sorority / rush outfits on instagram I get fed that have students in nearly identical 5k+ outfits, sometimes with mom doing it too for parents weekend…This is a whole industry, it seems, and apparently hard to avoid (since I try not to watch them and feed the algorithm). It is always in Alabama or Ole Miss or similar. Once again, I am 100% sure this is a fairly small sliver of the school but I find it off-putting as a school norm. Maybe all schools have lots of girls doing this and they are just better at the algorithm.. I would be just as off-put by students at Colby or Northwestern or UW doing it!
If you are not on instragram, you would likely miss this whole thing, too.
We won’t be empty nesters this year, but I am already fearful of this! lol
I think it is good to remember that there will be lots of different people on every campus. And some (maybe many, depending on where your child attends) will have a lot of money.
There will be students in the cold weather states casually wearing $1k+ winter jackets and equally expensive accessories. There will be students everywhere with luxury cars they bring to campus. There will be students casually wearing $15k+ in jewelry as their ‘daily wear’ stuff. There will be students taking expensive weekend trips, flying to Europe for breaks (or even for weekends if they are in Boston/NYC area).
The dorm room decor is an easy target for pointing out inequity on campus. But, realistically, most students on a campus aren’t going to actually see those dorm rooms (except on instagram). They will see the casual wealth in their classrooms, the different opportunities those with wealth have and the different overall lifestyle.
It is part of the college experience to get a broader understanding of the world around you. Not all of it is going to be comfortable and that is part of learning at college.