We typically make one meal that we both eat for a few days, with sometimes freezing individual portions for leftovers. We make things like chicken tinga, shrimp creole, or chicken sausage. We make veggies on the side which only I will eat. Mr. Groundhog eats salad every night. When C25 isn’t home I might make some brussel sprouts or roasted sweet potatoes and eat those leftovers with my meal for a few days.
I think I’m going to have a friend teach me mahjong. I might look into volunteering at an animal shelter once I get both knees fixed. lol
Yes. We have three kids, all big eaters. I always cook for an army, LOL. Thankfully four out of five of us like leftovers. This coming school year, we only have one kid left at home, so I’m thinking I might do meal prep and line up nice containers in the fridge. I have always intended to do that for portion control but have never gotten there.
But DH and I were married for a full five years before kids came along, so clearly I was cooking smaller portions at some point. (Although the first few years we lived in a tiny condo in NYC with a barely functioning kitchen, and we ate takeout most nights. Oh, to have that metabolism back!)
After my D26 is out of the house, I am going to sit my butt on the couch and read the hundreds of books on my to-read list. And then I’m going watch TV. I might go for walks. (Our library is a mile away – I might walk there!) I might start a writing project. For sure I’m going to sort and clean out and declutter every inch of our house.
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We have been empty nesters for a while. One thing that has been helpful is making at least one dish - often a side dish - each night. Yesterday’s chicken served with a new (fancier) salad or bean dish feels less repetitive.
We do have nights that are free for alls as well. DH may finish up some ribs and I’ll eat the rest of the gazpacho.
For us, this is still a bit of a work in process. But it has gotten us away from some of the carb-ier meals DS loved. Being gifted an Ottolenghi cookbook helped us develop enthusiasm for veggie dishes, so if you like to cook, it’s an opportunity to indulge that without having to cater to so many people.
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I’d guess this was a mistake too. Ugh principles and A are very different curriculum (as you know)…
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This is what we decided to do, too. Kids call. They thought they’d be fine and wasn’t worried. If it’s awful they can order one to the dorm. Apparently the beds have a “soft” and “hard” side so maybe some experimentation too.
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As a Clemson alum…I say don’t have him come home. He should get tickets with friends for the away rivalry game in Columbia, and go to a friends home near there for the Thanksgiving weekend. I have other kids that are a flight away from school, and it is just too short of a time to see them when they want to attend those big games (which they should absolutely do!).
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Hope he has a great year. Well done parents!
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Wow, I’ve been out of the loop for a couple of weeks and missed a lot! It got a little spicy. 
I’ve missed reading all of your posts though ( the college parent fb pages have also
been spicy and I needed a break!)
So happy to hear some familiar ‘voices’ here.
I have not bought a darn thing yet for my kids dorm. We are flying and I’m trying to figure out what to bring and what to buy there. If anyone has a recommendation for a good folding/easily packable duffel to check I’d appreciate it.
Might bring a good mattress topper b/c I have a feeling they might be sold out on arrival. My kid has a single (lots of singles at UMich, even if kids don’t ask for them) so he can do whatever his goth heart desires in there.
He just had a big surgery so our summer has been mellow, and slow so far. It’s been good. We’ve been able to spend some good time together. Trying to soak in these moments b/c mid August is right around the corner.
On the food front- I can’t wait to eat what the heck I want for dinner every night. A picky son and an even pickier husband had me eating things I would have preferred not to for so long! Bring on the cheese and crackers - cholesterol be damned!
We have one fun trip coming up and a BIG bday for me before the big drop off. It’s fitting. I should have probably been an empty nester a decade ago but here we are.
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I’ve been buying the most random stuff lately. I’ve never had Prime, but got it for a week so that I could take advantage of Prime days. Did I buy anything fun? No I did not. I stocked up on stuff that will go with S25 to college: detergent pods; amazon basics brand of tylenol/advil/zyrtec/bandaids/neosporin/melatonin/fish oil; a thermometer; command hooks; tissues; shampoo/conditioner; deodorant. Could I have bought all of these things there or on regular trips to the store. Yes, yes I could have. But they were all 15-25% off and while I might beat those prices later, I could at least just buy them in one fell swoop and check it off my to-do list, so I’d feel like I was doing something productive.
Then, because why not, the spending money fairy took over my brain, I also bought three dresses for myself (because I am apparently having angst about looking sufficiently appropriate for the parents cocktail hour at the football stadium during orientation - my nerdy never dressed appropriately tweenage self has come roaring to the forefront. And yes, I KNOW this is ridiculous, but without my husband there, I know I’ll feel more confident talking to strangers if I feel dressed appropriately.)
Then I bought a lawn mower. A LAWN MOWER. 
I mean, to be fair, ours has been broken for about a month and we’ve either been borrowing the neighbors or just weed whacking the worst of the yard. But what on Earth possessed me. I do not know.
@PurpleSunset24 - yeah, we’re not going to bring him home for Thanksgiving. I just need to settle my mind into that. Now I’m thinking about maybe the rest of the family (me, husband, S22) going down to Clemson while S22 is home for his week long fall break. Maybe we do early Thanksgiving all four of us in an AirBnB or something.
@Julmarmc - I won’t lie, the idea of cheese and crackers for dinner - heck, maybe I’d throw in a nice crispy apple, is really really appealing to me.
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Reminder that your soon to be college students are eligible for the Amazon Prime student discount once they get their .edu addresses! 6 months free membership and then the 1/2 price of the usual fee.
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And for those wanting to buy MacBooks, Apple always has student offers for new college students. You just show your admit letter. D19 got free Beats headphones- I can’t remember if there was also a discount on the computer itself.
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Wondering if any of you’ve noticed it dawning on your kids that they’re leaving. Family, friends, first loves and life as they know it are going to change. C25 understood it in theory at graduation of course, but now I think it’s getting real as friends are going to different orientations in different places.. Any words of wisdom on parenting through this phase from those that have been here before?
No words of wisdom you haven’t heard before. Be present. Be patient. Let the things they say and do roll off you and don’t take it personally.
When my oldest went to college I felt like he was the absolute meanest to me at move-in (which I went to alone as moving in was a flight away). I cried on the phone to a friend a couple of nights because of how horrible the experience was.
The reality is hitting my D25 pretty hard as she will be at her college in less than 30 days now. But in some ways she is already there. She is talking to her roommates, people on her team and already appears to be more in that world than the one here at home that she is leaving behind.
For me and my husband, this is the child that will make us empty nesters. That’s a whole other thing. How long do we keep the house? Travel in the shoulder season…amazing!
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I feel you on this. It’s hard!
For anyone else who is going thru this I read something online I thought was helpful. My c25 is a lot like me. Stress comes when we cannot control our environment or situation. So the internet wisdom that I found was, while you can’t anticipate or control everything, try to help them find things that they can control. So for c25, that means picking out things for their room. For us that’s tricky because fall semester will be in Spain so picking ultra packable things is really important, but I can see where even small things might help.
Over-preparing is the way that I deal with stress from something uncontrollable or unknown. After all, if you have imagined worst case scenarios in your head and already gamed out how you would deal with them, then if something bad happens, you’ve already been through it and know what to do 
! Yes, I know how this sounds and it’s an issue I am constantly battling. Living in the moment vs preparing for what might be. 
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I just read a statistic somewhere that the time parents and kids spend together over their lifetime is broken down as 90% 0-18 years, and 10% the rest of your lives. This broke me, but it’s normal and how it should be. I’m going to take all the opportunities I can when they present themselves!
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No great wisdom, but it can help to remember you’re shifting into a relationship with adult children and to think about your interactions in that context. I have recalled elsewhere that at a point, when I was deep in the throes of dorm room planning and packing that I told DS “You know that I fully trust you could do this all perfectly on your own. This is about me – wanting to know I’ve done everything to set you up well and wanting to be involved.” He said, “I know, mom.” Very kindly.
I am also by nature an advice giver. (Hello CC!) That’s also part of parenting. At this point though, you need to ask if they want advice – or simply give them your decision inputs (“here’s a packing list that was on the internet”) then step back. Your help is seen as control and maintaining a “child” dynamic.
The fouling the nest behavior is a way to get independence. Maybe, just maybe, if they see you’re giving it to them they won’t seize it in such a dramatic way.
One last thing, as a parent, this separation is painful. Even if it’s without drama! So give yourself grace and acknowledge that you’ve done your job well – this is the right next step for them, and you’ve helped get them there..
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I feel this! My oldest is now 21, and my twins just turned 18. l feel like I learned the hard way with my first one, LOL, so I’m more prepared with my younger two.
But yes, I so often say, “May I make a suggestion?” Sometimes they’ll say no, and then I don’t offer whatever it was.
Or, I’ll say, “Consider…”
It gives them the leeway to say, “I will consider” – and then we move on with no argument. (EVEN if they’re being boneheaded and should listen to their mother, LOL.)
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I read something that said that a parent’s role moves from “Project Manager” to “Consultant” with adult kids. I’m trying to remember that with my son. He’s been relatively pleasant lately, but he has less tolerance for me when I start hassling him about things. I’m trying to be more of a consultant (a poorly paid one), but it’s a hard shift.
Summer is trudging along. T-minus 46 days until drop off. S25 is in his second week of Calc 2 at our local college and said it’s “easy” so far. He has his first Japanese tutoring session tonight through Italki.com to get some support/accountability with his writing skills. And yesterday he finished his application for a research program at Rose geared toward first and second year students. Not sure if he’ll be selected, but I was proud of him for putting together an application and applying.
Hope everyone has a great week!
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D25 ended up choosing a queen size comforter as that was the only size in the color she wanted. I mean its plain pink with absolutely no design/stitching at all and there were other brands out there in twin xl but I of course know nothing “But this one is more of a pale blush versus the bubblegum pink ones” she tells me. Her bed will be raised with a clearance of 32 inches under the bed so I guess the extra will hang over the storage we have for underneath or tucked away on the wall side where nobody will see.
I am returning a coat rack/shoe organizer I got on amazon for $40 for a $5 brand new in box unopened rolling adjustable clothes organizer I got thrifting. Got a few plastic organizers for under her sink for $1 each as well. This kid is costing me enough money, not everything needs to be brand new!
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