My neighbor across the street passed away last night. Three ambulances, a full fire engine, a sheriff, and two police cruisers were across the street for well over an hour, lights flashing. I was pretty shaken up and feel horribly for their family. It’s bad at any time but always worse at a holiday. I couldn’t sleep after that.
I want to save everyone but I cannot and that may make me overzealous at times. I do worry about the suicidal kids. My son has been hospitalized for depression and has fought this battle for over 5 years now. Thankfully, he seems to be on the mend right now, but it is always on my mind.
The college where I work offered a class on mental health intervention and I took that course, but it really only scratched the surface of what anyone needs to know. The most important thing I learned is not to be afraid to talk about it.
One of our students (a non traditional student in her early 40s) passed away this past fall from natural causes—she left behind 5 kids. I had just seen her 2 days before.
Always hard, especially when unexpected. (I spent 25 years in ED/Trauma where most deaths were unexpected). I get on my soapbox on local social media pages when people start immediately asking “what happened” or posting photos. I remind them that “public concern” never overrules respect for what could be the very worst day of that family’s lives.
You don’t have to apologize to anyone. Your heart is in the right place. I’m especially sorry to hear about the struggles your son has. I’m right there with you and I understand the toll that can take. Be strong, and know you are not alone.
I’m so sorry to hear about your neighbor. I would’ve had a hard time sleeping after that too. There are so many things going awry in the world, add to that our generalized stress for our kids launching then any one more thing on top can be a tipping point to make me cry or feel overwhelmed.
It’s ok, we need to have these feelings and process them and work through it. Bottling it up and ignoring it won’t help. We’re a good, supportive and respectful community - all of us trying to do the best for our kids and to help advise and support others as they try to do the same.
I feel like we should all have hugs and ice cream now.
I’ll be thinking about your neighbors, and you. Hoping you all get some time to relax today and some joy to shine through.
@OctoberKate , you said you wanted more decisions? Happy to oblige!
D25 committed to UC Irvine today. Y’all, she is so thrilled, and it honestly is infectious. We went to Celebrate UCI (their admitted students day) and she loved the campus, loved the diversity present, and proudly bought the sweatshirt and posed before we left. She’s ready to double major and do the honors program, which will likely push her into five years instead of four, or she’ll decide to nix something and get out earlier. After the grind of the last couple of years, I’m ready to let her take the lead on this; I want her to have some breathing space and feel a bit more balanced in college.
UCI was prettier than I expected, friendlier than I expected, and the profs in the honors program were fabulous, and just what D25 is craving. To see her eyes light up and be excited about what the future holds (and not overwhelmed by it all) makes me grin. She was thrilled to submit her SIR today. There is no doubt in her mind that this is the right choice for her. (This feels great, since we spent a small fortune going to all these auditions, and I think it was actually putting her foot on campus/seeing and/or dancing in various places that made this decision so easy for her. No doubt this is a massive luxury that we could gift her; I acknowledge that and am grateful for it.)
I have been following along with all the of the decisions on here as we have been going back and forth between my son’s top 2 choices. A lot has resonated with me, but especially this! My son finally put down some of his thoughts on paper this past week as we prepared for the last admitted students day. He had been opposed to writing down pros and cons, but I finally had him write what he liked about each place, what he didn’t like or what made him hesitant to commit for each, and finally what would help him make the decision. What he wrote was exactly what our thoughts had been about each school, which instantly reassured me he wasn’t just avoiding it all. What he considered his top choice of the acceptances is our alma mater, so we have been careful to not say too much about any concerns about either school so his preferences were not tainted by ours too soon. It has been an emotional roller coaster because they are both great choices. In the end, we went to the admitted students day for the his current second choice on Friday and it just felt right. It wasn’t perfect and we all feel that the overall intellectual vibe of the academics at the other school (our alma mater) is probably a better fit, but the rest of it was just meant for him. It may not have been totally fair because the weather was perfect and it was a weekday, but we all had the same feeling that this was the place for him. The academics are very strong, he will be in the honors program and he got a ton of merit making it barely more expensive than our state school, which is an added bonus! I feel like it is like house hunting or any other big decision–there are tradeoffs. As much as I would love to fall back on a spreadsheet, feel and vibe were really important to us when coming down to the last 2. He just seemed at home at this school and today we put the deposit down! It would have been amazing if he ended up where we went, but in the end I think it is best he has something of his own. The best part was him telling us, “see, you just needed to trust my process”. I mentioned that I just needed something along the way and that I felt much better when he wrote down some of his thoughts. He replied, you never asked those specifics, that is all you wanted?
Seriously, this kid kills me. I asked a thousand times in a thousand different ways! But he was right, I needed to trust his process and it is great we are all on the same page. This is the most at peace we have been for months. He was happier Friday talking to the students and professors than I have seen him for a long time. Now onto AP studying and getting to the end of the year, which is still over a month away.
Hoping everyone is doing well throughout this process. I appreciate reading everything people are sharing.
Not complaining as I feel confident in d25’s decision. The final price tag of under 13k a year is great. But what was a serious contender for top spot for months (that put her on the Tuition Exchange waitlist than off and awarded after commiting to the other school) sent their financial aid letter today. Total coa would have been $412 for the year.
At least Im not stuck at my job for 4 more years though if academia turns darker than it already has. Im choosing to look at the silver lining.
There was something about her final choice that she loved and was right for her. That right there has so much value, and it’s in your budget. Silver lining for sure.
We had a similar situation. Flexibility is a plus. If TE goes away, you don’t have to worry about renegotiating aid or transferring. And it sounds like your D was really happy with her choice. Take the win!
@OctoberKate S25 is not sure what he wants to do but is an avid reader interested in a liberal arts education. He committed to St. John’s College in Annapolis after attending admitted students’ day. We were charmed by the intimate campus in historic Annapolis. He felt challenged in the seminar classes offered and really felt like the students there were members of his tribe. It’s a unique school and educational model, but his interest is piqued and he’s excited!
Well, looks like a decision is made. After all the visits, paralysis….but 2 days later we discussed the options and it became obvious C25 was really down to school 1 or 3. They didn’t know that until we started talking through it. In the end, school 1 was SLIGHTLY favored but only slightly and at $17k more per year, not worth it to them. So, although we are sleeping on it tonight, looks like Gettysburg will be getting a deposit in the morning.
I am jealous seeing all of these commitments! D25 is still in deciding mode and I think she may wait until April 30! I hope not. On the plus side, Gonzaga sweetened the pot this week with an added $2500 of merit money! I guess that’s one benefit of waiting to commit!
I’m curious, are people getting emails about new scholarship money or is it just updated in the portal? My son is not great at checking his portals and I don’t have access. Wondering if he is missing any information about FA updates.
My D25 has committed to Tennessee. She’s excited to attend, and my husband and I will be empty nesters this fall. Of all of our kids, she will be living the closest to us at 15 hours away!!! These grown and flown kiddos are really stressing our travel budget!
Our S22 will also be graduating with his BS degree this spring, and will be heading to University of Washington for his PhD. So…I’ll be looking forward to hearing all of your travel plans as my fun summer vacation plans consist of a nearly constant stream of move-outs and then move-ins.
I hope not. On the plus side, Gonzaga sweetened the pot this week with an added $2500 of merit money! I guess that’s one benefit of waiting to commit! 
