The important thing about Greek life, IMO, is the campus culture surrounding partying and drinking. In my observation, if the campus culture is party-heavy then Greek life tends to ramp it up to 11, but if the campus culture is more restrained (is that the right word?) then Greek life often provides a very healthy fraternity in the historical dictionary-definition sense.
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My D23 (who was definitely not a sport recruit) was invited to overnights in the dorms as part of a some admitted student events. It was hard to fit multiple overnights in all in while juggling long distance visits on a compressed timeline, but she did take both Pomona and Dartmouth up on it (yes, both relatively small schools).
Best of luck to your son - he has a busy April seeing all of these places and making a decision!
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Mine was invited to a few as well, but my D25 preferred to attend the big events with activities over the overnights, which were more āday in the lifeā events. Both have value, but who has the time do it all?
At this moment in time, misogyny seems to be having a very strong resurgence, and combined with some of the āincelā language and the normalization of women-bashing, I think it is the scariest time in the last 20 years to have a daughter go anywhere near a Greek party. [Or to have a son spend time in groups of frat boys, absorbing their culture and values.]
I agree that women are more savvy, but the response among some groups of men to women drawing boundaries has been to double down on misogyny, rather than step back and reevaluate their attitudes and behavior.
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Please note that not all of us feel the same way about fraternity boys, and not all of us feel that participating involves āabsorbing [assumedly negative] culture and and valuesā. My son is in a fraternity and it is very very different from what you are portraying. In addition to the academic support the give each other, and the resume and job interview prep they do, they have specific brothers whose jobs are to be sober brothers, to rove and make sure no one at a party is getting in over their head. My kid has been on accutane for the last year and canāt drink, so heās been the sober brother a lot. He takes his job seriously. Heās even sent kids home who were in line to get in already drunk (and once he sent someone home who was waiting and didnāt have a coat, because it was too cold to be out with no coat.). This fall they did a joint fundraiser with a sorority where they all went apple picking together then made apple pies to sell to fundraise together. Their fraternity has The Trevor Project as their philanthropy, they currently have a small handful of gay brothers and have had a trans-male brother. Yes, they drink, but they are nothing like what you are describing.
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The problem is, most of our examples on this thread are a sample size of 1.
Not all fraternity guys/sorority girls are drunks/druggies, promiscuous, rapists, etc. But neither are all fraternity guys/sorority girls in Greek life for business connections, study sessions and philanthropy.
Everyone wants to think ānot my kid.ā All that OP was saying is that we as parents need to be paying close attention. It would be better, for example, if your son didnāt have to police the drunk fraternity brothers in the first place.
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Another article, from 2021:
āSince 2000, there have been more than 50 hazing-related deaths. The causes are varied ā heatstroke, drowning, alcohol poisoning, head injury, asphyxia, cardiac arrest ā but the tragedies almost always involve a common denominator: Greek life.ā
(Note that number is now at least 67 deaths.)
Extremely eye opening article, from 2023:
This article is not for the faint of heart:
There are dozens more articles detailing dozens more deaths. And these articles do not even touch upon women in sororities who are sexually assaulted, develop eating disorders, drop out of college when they are cut from the sorority house they wanted to pledgeā¦
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This is a big one.
If your kid does Greek life, make sure theyāre insured separately from the umbrella liability policy their house carries.
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Hi @DeeH, my D25 is also at MIT CPW and she has reported that she is sleeping in a dorm with her host and another prospective student. I have heard very little from her since dropping her off yesterday morning - I know they have been busy! I pick her up Sunday and we head to Yale Bulldog Days Monday. Thankfully they are geographically close - I canāt imagine having more than 2 college visit with multiple overnights in the span of a couple weeks!!! Safe travels and best of luck to your son with his final decision! 
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More than that:
Talk to your kid about hazing, about alcohol, about not getting themselves into situations like these. And then talk to them about it some more.
Every single year a fraternity pledge is killed. Donāt let your kidās life be ruined or over.
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Well, the last visit is done. I was hoping for clarity in C25 decision like earlier in the week, but alas, we remain stuck on 3. Option #1, which would be the pick if the price is the same, is $17k/year more than 2 and 3, which are basically tied, both in cost and interest. $68k would go a long way in vet school (or other pursuit after college) but it is within (barely) the upper limit we set with no loans. C25 seems paralyzed at the moment. We might be down to rolling die soon 
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How cool is that! I talked with S25 for about two minutes todayāhe is attending scores of events and having a great time. As for Yale, he was accepted there but we didnāt register for Bulldog Days, as he is heading to Stanford and Harvardās events and felt that was all he could handle. Best wishes to your daughter as well! I wish we had more time for this big decision. . .
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I think Princeton used to have an overnight before covid but it hasnāt been that way in many years.
Yes of course, sample size of one. But this thread is starting to feel like a piling on, and I really wanted at least one positive experience listed.
Also, fwiw, the brothers in my sonās fraternity are almost never needing to āpolice the brothersā. Itās the guests, usually, who are causing more problems with overimbibing. And itās frustrating to me to see everyone assuming the stereotype that brothers need policing and are the problem.
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Delete. Apologies.
Reminder that CC and is supposes to be a friendly and welcoming place.
It is also not a place for debate. Points made about Greek life. Please move on.
TIA!
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My oldest knows both men and women who have been roofied and none of them were in either a sorority or a fraternity nor were they at a Greek event.
I know lots of young men and women who have been in the Greek system (myself included) who gained a lot of positives. It may not be what you wanted for your child, but let every child find their own way.
Additionally these are ADULTS NOW. Our job as parents is to give advice when needed, but itās up to them to make their own decisions. And even when those decisions arenāt what you may want them to make, itās up to you to them support them. Continuing to micromanage your children in college down to the clubs they want to join is not going to work out well for either of you. Itās time to let them spread their wings and fly and sometimes they may bump into a window, but we pick them up.
Teach your child basics of safely going out, go in groups, watch your drinks, and that goes for EVERYWHERE they are from college forward. Donāt pretend that it canāt happen to your sons either, because it can and does.
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And at the school my son attends there have been very public suicides every semester on campus. Thatās 8 for those keeping track ON ONE CAMPUS. So Iād worry a lot more about that than I would your kid joining Greek life. Campuses do a good job and keeping these under wraps when they can, but it can be difficult when they jump off the stadium. Itās far more pervasive than hazing deaths across the country
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Iām truly sorry to hear that.
Changing gearsā¦ as we get closer to May 1, and through Spring break periods when people maybe did some revisits, Iām hoping to hear more final choices so we can be excited for your kids. But if your kid hasnāt decided yet, try not to be anxious, time isnāt up. They may just want or need this extra week to figure it out (and hey, who knows, maybe youāll get some extra merit aid thrown your way!)
Iām nervous for S25 about roommate selection. Apparently you have to have a roommate found before the housing portal opens on May 15th, or you go to the back of the line. Since he basically made his decision the night before we left on vacation, all we did was confirm online and pay the deposit - but not the housing deposit or housing agreement. And you have to have that housing stuff done before you can enter information into whatever portal like thing they have where students can try to match themselves with a roommate. This seems complicated to me and Iām worried about S25 navigating this. Heās got a lot going on in the next three weeks.
But it is what it is. Heāll end up with some kind of roommate, and live somewhere. And it will be fine. Iām trying to use this break while weāve been travelling to pivot our relationship a bit so Iām not helping him manage All The Things. It had been working really well until tonight. Here we are, last night in Greece, and weāre sitting in our AirBnB because heās panicked that he hasnāt done enough of his overdue classwork. Iām trying to get him to just let it go at this point, because there isnāt really anything he can do, but heās trying and failing and Iām looking at his face and he looks like a sad little boy right now. Sigh. This isnāt how I wanted this trip to end, but itās also not terrible for him to live some consequences.
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