those are very different schools that may keep spots for this purpose, but certainly no large state school can have an overnight in a dorm while students are there. But even Carnegie Mellon didn’t have overnights.
2 Likes
We were at UPenn revisit last weekend and they only offer online viewing of the dorms, I can’t say that my D would have wanted to sleep on the floor of a stranger’s room even if offered, maybe if she privately had set it up with a friend who attends?
That makes sense. If there’s an admitted student class of several thousand or more, it would be impossible to let the students stay at a dorm with other students. I’ll find out more soon about his sleeping arrangements at MIT.
From D19’s days, we found that a number that didn’t offer dorm tours on normal tours would do them at the admitted student events. (Well, the “tours” on normal days we found were often just showing us one sample room.) At D19’s school the admitted student event took them to a number of the freshman dorms so they could see before choosing. But overnights, not that we saw.
Anyone who’s ever used Airbnb knows that online tours can vary wildly in how representative they are of the actual place!
It’s interesting to me how the ivies and schools up in those groupings do their admitted student events. They have such high yield rates that they might not have such large groups of students coming for their events. Or they might split them by field of study/college. MIT might be an anomaly, but D25’s friends who are admitted to schools up in those ranks have said their impression is that the schools aren’t trying very hard to impress because they don’t need to impress. Some of the events were described a meh. Not as much time to talk to students or faculty as they’d hoped. Sort of the attitude of we don’t need you as much as you need us. A lot (most?) other colleges are competing for students and want to have good yields. They have to sell themselves in a way school like Princeton don’t. I’m sure there are exceptions, of course.
3 Likes
Great points! That’s exactly what we’ve experienced. We heard very little from Princeton (and other parents have confirmed the same), but tons of outreach from MIT, Harvard, and Stanford: personalized notes from admissions officers, virtual parent panels, swag, t-shirts, etc.
1 Like
Tipping point? Talking to professors, going to a football game, eating the food, seeing the no communal bathroom dorms.
3 Likes
Yes, but with student room tours on You Tube, Tik Tok, and Instagram you can find a lot of tours!
1 Like
We’re in the last few days of our trip to Greece - the hanging out with our kid who is already here part. I haven’t been able to communicate with him for several weeks - he’s just been super busy - and what that translated to was me not really planning the two days we have in his city. I thought he’d have things he wanted to show us and I guess I just didn’t think through what we’d do all day both days, because that’s a lot of time. Anyhoo, we walked around a lot today and saw good stuff, but everyone is a little tired so we’ve been killing time in our Airbnb (which is not great, I went low cost after everything else). S25 is trying to do some of the late work he has outstanding for English, husband is napping, and S22 and I were sort of scrambling to find a still available tour for tomorrow that he hasn’t already done and that doesn’t cost an arm and a leg. I’ve got something nailed down, but it wouldn’t have been my first choice and if I had realized even just yesterday that we needed to add something, I would’ve had better options. Oh well. We’re together, and that’s what matters. S22 is getting over some kind of virus, so it’s probably good that he’s having a lower key weekend (all of his schoolmates are travelling abroad this weekend - I’m so happy to see him, but I have a feeling he would rather be with his friends who went to Vienna…). Oh well, that didn’t occur to me before planning this trip, so here we are.
8 Likes
I posted this last year, but I’m reposting it now that the parents in this thread are all getting ready to send our kids off.
I strongly encourage you to be very hesitant of your kid joining the Greek System, and if they do, to make sure they are aware of the heightened risk of being a victim or perpetrator of sexual assault (and hazing, and alcohol poisoning).
“Research has found that fraternity men are three times more likely to sexually assault a woman than non-affiliated classmates. Additionally, for women in sororities, it was reported that they are 74% more likely to be raped than other college women.”
It is not a healthy environment for anyone, let alone young adults just starting out their independent lives.
Let’s Get Greek: Sexual Assault Trends Within College Greek Life ~ Making Waves
19 Likes
DS graduated high school in '16. Several schools where he was accepted had overnight events for accepted students. All included one day when classes met. (A few - all in Midwest – paid the plane fare for students to attend.) The college he attended had these as well, and a lot went into planning.. The schools had lots of events to enable students to connect with what interested them. They were all LACs. And visitors often slept on the floor in a sleeping bag! DS gave someone his bed while he was at an away game freshman year.
Iirc, Stanford did this as well.
It’s a big production for the schools but very helpful for students.
3 Likes
I’m so glad none of my 3 kids wanted to join. A friend’s son was considering joining a frat and went to some kind of initiation party. The freshmen were required to drink so much that he spent the whole night taking care of two friends who were vomiting and going in and out of consciousness. I wish he had called the cops. I thought universities had cracked down on this stuff, but I guess not. Friend’s son decided not to rush.
9 Likes
Keeping their mouths shut about what happens is built into the culture of fraternities. Most of them will keep their secrets to their graves. And that is why it is so hard to combat. I’m sure you were relieved that he decided not to join. 
My daughters have been told since they were in middle school “Never go to a frat party”. Because even women who aren’t in sororities are likely victims. Just avoiding it all together seems like the only safe plan.
7 Likes
Agree with this 100%. Back in my Wellesley days we went to many, many MIT fraternity parties and I have seen some horrible things. Thank god no sexual assault witnessed, but plenty of people drinking until they were unconscious, someone falling off a balcony, a person going through a window.
I shared those stories with my kids as cautionary tales.
3 Likes
I say this as someone who was in a sorority: be very careful.
Years ago my college best friend and roommate was at a fraternity party. I didn’t go to that particular party. She passed out from drinking and her friend and date had to pull one of his “brothers” off her, as she was about to be raped while passed out.
The alcohol frequently used to have additional additives. I don’t know if it still does or if it just the quantity. Every year there is some heartbreaking story about how a fraternity pledge dies or worse from alcohol poisoning.
What I don’t understand is how Greek life at some schools is bigger than ever. It seems with the MeToo movement and with the way young women are so much smarter and more savvy that they wouldn’t willingly submit themselves to the misogyny, superficiality, and judgement that goes along with being in Greek life, but they do.
9 Likes
This is one of the most well known and heartbreaking incidents:
Their son is blind and brain damaged from hazing gone very wrong:
6 Likes
That’s really interesting and shows that it isn’t just about the prestige of the university but maybe more the culture? If the colleges are putting effort into students and families at this moment I wonder if it’s indicative of their attitude in general. It would definitely sway me if I had similar options and couldn’t decide.
2 Likes
While big name SEC schools like Bama and Ole Miss are well known for their Greek life, Greek life is also huge at some smaller and more prestigious schools like Wake Forest , Lehigh, and Washington and Lee.
1 Like
If someone doesn’t want their children to participate in Greek life, I fully support that choice. Doesn’t really matter the reason.
Saying that, I just got wonderful pictures from D23 of the last philanthropic event on her sorority’s calendar for this year. They raised money for a wonderful cause, brought together almost 200 hundred students on their LAC campus to participate and seemed to have a wonderful time at a very wholesome and healthy activity.
There are many different experiences to be had in Greek life. D23 was absolutely sure she didn’t want to rush before she went to college, and yet it has been a wonderful experience for her. Different schools have different Greek cultures.
10 Likes