As we’re about to embark on our first admitted students day trip, I’ve been thinking a lot about the pros and cons of each of my D26’s overall fantastic options. One thing of note, is the huge cost disparity between the schools. Of her top four schools, the least expensive for us will cost roughly $50,000 less per year than the most expensive (I think it is a little over 50K less per year for us). That is obviously real money. And, we are in the fortunate position that D26 does not need to factor cost into her choice. I recognize that puts us in a tiny minority of folks. And I am so appreciative of my good fortune. Nevertheless, I still think about the cost difference, what it means, and what might she get for that extra money. The proverbial “Is it worth it?” question that most of us ask ourselves regardless of budget if we have differently priced options. It is a deeply individual question and I find it a really hard one to answer.
That said, in thinking about it, I’ve started to crystallize what bothers me so much about the many discussions focused on ROI of chosing a particular college. There are a few aspects to it, but a primary one is that ROI reduces a four year residential college lived experience into a financial transaction. But, it is not just that. It is also, where, and with whom does she want to spend her first four years of life away from us? What will the quality of that life be like? Who will be her peers? What do they care about? Is the culture one where they have a healthy relationship with achievement, competition, cooperation, ethics and morals, drinking/drugs, etc.? Is it a place where, god forbid, sexual assault is dealt with well? Is the part of the country/city, safe and welcoming for people like her? Is she likely to be happy there? None of those factors that are an important part of where she will spend four years of her life developing as a new adult, are captured by ROI. And all of those matter a ton to me/us. So much of what we’re trying to suss out has nothing to do with ROI. In fact, I’m not convinced she’ll earn much if any more if she goes to one institution vs another. If she goes to grad school, it seems even less likely. So, ROI doesn’t resonate for me.
I think the concept of “value” resonates more on this point. What are you getting for your money compared to somewhere else? Buying a car has some analogies for me. When we got rid of our 13 year old car for a new one, the old car still worked. Our ROI would have been better to just keep driving that thing despite how beat up it was. It got us to work, activities, etc just fine. We earned no more money by getting the new car. But, the new car, you could bluetooth music from your phone rather than play cds. It was quieter, the ride was smoother, the experience was (and still is) orders of magnitude better every time we get in the car. That part of my life, in the car, is markedly better. There is tremendous value in the new car compared to the old one, and that is worth all of that money to me even though an ROI analysis would have told me to keep the old car and ignored the quality of life improvements which I feel but are less economically measurable.
All of that said, no “value” proposition can justify the $50K+ more per year of my D26’s most expensive choice compared to her least expensive choice. All four of her options are great. It is not worth that much more by any objective measure. So, why am I willing to spend that money on the more expensive one if that is what she wants? I’ve struggled a bit to answer that question. Ultimately, I think it comes down to two factors. First, I am lucky enough that I can without sacrificing anything that matters more. I would not do it if it impacted retirement, we had to take out loans (at least not significant ones), or put us in a financially precarious position. Second, I realize that offering my daughter the gift of going to the school that she believes is the absolutely best place for her to thrive brings me tremendous joy and pride. I value spending my money on a bespoke education. We live in a small house. We drive our cars for over a decade. We don’t go on fancy vacations. Mainly because spending on those things don’t really do it for me. But it is easy for me to open my wallet on her education.
Those are my “deep thoughts” on why I’m willing to spend what I am as we embark on this journey of D26 picking a school over the next few weeks.
