Is she trying out for Duke cheer? So exciting!
It is really tough when they are not excited about their options. My daughter’s best friend had her heart set on one particular school and there was only one other school out of the many she visited and allied to that she liked. She got WL at both 
So now she is trying to redirect to one of her acceptances and is feeling very blah about her options. And these are both great options but not to her. It really is a bummer sometimes how things turn out.
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Well, our admissions journey officially ended (??) yesterday with a surprise (in a good way) waitlist from UCB. Of course, per my research from past trends the chance of getting off the waitlist is somewhere between literal, mathematical zero and 0.33%. But as D26 put it, “it’s a cool flex anyway”! So onward we go with UCSD!
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Funny my D wanted Yale years ago b/c that’s where Teddy went from Good Luck Charlie 
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I just read Society of Lies by Laura Ling Brown and it is a crime/mystery/thriller that takes place at Princeton. It was really good. And a huge turn-off of Princeton 
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I hope you woke up today and things are looking brighter! We went through this w/S24. I blame the process and overall culture. It’s hard not to have some of these feelings through it!
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That’s disappointing about the UCB rejection. But the UW acceptance is a nice feather in her cap! It’s a great school.
Some people just take a little longer than others to mourn the colleges that are now out of the running. It’s ok to feel the feels about it.
BUT…
Sounds like your H hasn’t realized yet that NOT getting into ONE college isn’t going to mean that your D’s future is doomed. Sounds like your D is an awesome kid and a great student. I’m sure that she’ll soar wherever she ends up.
One thing that my H got frustrated about with this process with both of our kids, I think, is that both D24 and D26 had different ideas than him on where they wanted to apply, where they ultimately wanted to attend and what they wanted to major in.
I got into lots of arguments with him during that process, barking at him to be quiet already, ENOUGH, with all of the talk about getting a “useless” degree.
What was a “useless” degree in his opinion? anything other than engineering or computer science.
What are my kids majoring in? 1 is a bio major + public health minor, the other kid is going to major in Cyber Operations.
Ok, so you might think, “Cyber Ops is comp sci-adjacent, that should satisfy him, right?” NO! It wasn’t a “worthwhile” program if the coursework was more focused on cybersecurity policy…H only considered it to be “good enough” if there were “enough programming classes.”
How many are “enough programming classes”? No idea.
At some point, D26 just stopped listening to him. She’d snap at him occasionally with, “Ok whatever, but this is MY decision. NOT yours. I am the one going to college, NOT YOU!” That usually did the trick and he’d give it a rest.
Spousal Unit finally stopped complaining when D26 told him, “this is where I’m going and it’s not up for debate. my reasons for picking this school and this specific major are ____.” And her reasons were solid. Were they HIS reasons? Nope. But she has different career goals than he does. For her goals down the road, she absolutely picked the right program.
Your H will eventually come around. In the meantime, figure out a way to convince him to keep quiet in front of your D about how he thinks your D didn’t get into any “good schools.” Hang in there.
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Now that it’s the season of The Final Question, I have a suggestion for all of us to do with the people we and our kids will encounter over the coming weeks whenever somebody asks you/your kid The Final Question.
What is The Final Question? 
“Where are you/is your kid going to college?”
And then you know what happens sometimes…you/your kid tells them, and they make a face and say, "Huh. Why is your kid going there?"
This is what you do… It’s awesome, actually, when your kid sees you do it in front of them…because you’re showing (not telling) that you’re proud of your student. 
Ok so it goes like this:
(real example from encounter w/next door neighbor when D24 graduated)
Neighbor: So where is D24 going to college? Local University, right?
Me: Nope! She’s going to “small LAC nobody’s heard of.”
Neighbor: (scrunches up her nose, makes a face) Small LAC Name? Where’s that?
Me: It’s in ___, near “major city name.”
Neighbor: Well, I haven’t heard of it so it must not be very good.
Me: (thinking, WTH did you just say? You are SO RUDE!) Oh! It’s a great school! She’s going to major in biology and this LAC has a great pre-health advising program. And did you know that the average class size is about 20-40 students each? AND you can even do research with a professor starting freshman year if you want to.
Neighbor: Oh! Really? Well how come I haven’t heard of it?
Me: I have no idea. But our school counselor mentioned this one group of schools so we checked it out. She’s really happy with her decision and we’re really excited for her.
Neighbor: That’s great! Congratulations to her!
Boom. The trick is to have 1 or 2 factoids to tell the person. Unique things about the college that the average person might not know. AND you have to purposely ignore the tone of the other person, especially if their tone is negative, a little snarky, or sounds a little judgemental. Speak with confidence. If you’re the kid, own your decision and be proud of it. If you’re the parent, say you’re proud of all of your kid’s hard work and that you think the college is a great fit for your student.
…and in doing that, it lets the wind out of the other person’s sail.
Most of the time, people are like this because they’re just uninformed and they don’t know as much about it as you.
Will you win over every person with this approach? No. But it’s not about convincing the peanut gallery that your kid’s decision is the right one. It really won’t matter what the neighbors think, what the other parents at your kid’s high school think, what the grandparents or aunts & uncles think.
Is the college a good fit for YOUR kid? That’s all that matters.
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My S26 is headed to Wesleyan in the fall (ED2 admit)! It’s a lovely campus with a cute Main Street walking distance from campus. But I think what drew my son to it was the open curriculum, a strong community of artists, and a larger student body than other SLACs 3,000+ vs 2,000 or less). He’s interested in philosophy, math and studio art… along with many other subjects. He also wants 4 seasons (as a CA kid who is oddly tired of all this sunshine). Good luck to your D26 with her decision!
PS: there are some big Wesleyan/Middletown boosters in the NESCAC thread. They helped me plan our trip to Middletown this past fall and are a wealth of information!
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Congratulations!!!
We’re headed to one of the admitted students days and are really looking forward to it. And I’ve seen that NESCAC thread, lol. Extremely active. Makes me think that the alums must be really engaged afterwards, which is awesome to see!
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A friend of mine would answer all questions like this with, “You don’t KNOW?! Wow. That’s surprising.” It would make the person feel absolutely dumb as a post. Just fantastic to see in action (and DEVASTATING to have them do that to you!)
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Congrats on Bryn Mawr and Wesleyan. As a Wes grad (class of…a long time ago), it’s a great place. I loved my college experience and made some great friends with whom I am still close to this day.
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I’m really sorry, though glad to hear your D26 is taking it relatively well. The husband part is tough. I have no real advice there, but I do hope he comes around quickly.
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Ha! My daughter was the same. Always wanted to go to Yale when she was younger. Now that you mention it, it was likely for the same reason you said. She still occasionally watches reruns of Good Luck Charlie, lol.
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D26 was denied at Brown, waitlisted at Vandy, and got into Northwestern! Which seems exciting – except the financial aid offer is really terrible, unfortunately.
She was ok with not getting into Brown – not expected and not her strongest essays – and irritated with Vandy and this Verto offer, which is a total nonstarter for her. (If nothing else, the engineering transfer pathway only offers Calc 1 – which she did two years ago already and could teach at this point!)
I’m disappointed with the Northwestern financial aid offer and am trying to figure out if I should appeal. I’m fairly certain it’s because they don’t cap home equity, and I am house-rich-income-poor. But for a variety of reasons really can’t borrow against the house or access anything there. So… worth a shot, I guess. But we’d need a new offer before May 1 and… idk.
Anyway, yays and boos and at least we’re in the home stretch now! (2 more to go!)
And… She was also notified yesterday that she’s a national merit scholarship winner! Which is pretty darn cool and I’m proud of her. She’s been through a lot and I’m glad for her to receive some recognition. It’s well-deserved! 
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The good news is that Spousal Unit finally did get on board. D26 inundated him with facts. The administration & professors running the Cyber Ops major at D26’s college have a solid reputation for producing graduates who have legit cybersecurity skills. Plus the fact that the program fosters mentorship, undergraduate research, and does a great job helping students get major-relevant internships before graduation…students usually end up with job offers before graduation. Several professors have connections to federal government work, especially in Sierra Vista (Fort Huachuca), which has big installations of cybersecurity and intelligence for the US Army…stuff that D26 thinks sounds super cool & exciting.
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Congrats on the Northwestern acceptance! But frustrating that they clearly expect you to be able to take equity out of your house in order to pay for it.
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It’s certainly fair for you to set up an appt with a director level or above and ask them how they calculated the financial aid.
I agree it doesn’t seem like they cap home equity based on the NPC. You can treat the call more like a fact finding mission, rather than an appeal, or a negotiation. You can state your reasons why you can’t access your home equity right now. You can also share any better offers from peer schools, if you have one.
If there is a target COA you need them to get to, say that. But only say that if your D is going to attend if they get to that COA. Again, I definitely think it’s worth a call. Good luck.
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Since spreadsheets are your specialty, can you make a spreadsheet of all the Parents of ‘26 acceptances?
You’d be this forum’s hero.
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In at GT! Trying to quickly plan a trip for gold carpet day. Anyone know how crazy the Atlanta airport is? We could easily get in the car and drive (about 11 hour) or fly. Trying to figure out which might be better with the airport/flying craziness right now. Also - if we fly, will we need a car or is there a train from airport to GT? Any hotel recommendations? Would appreciate any insight/advise. Thank you!
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