We have the same kids. 
I remember when my older one was first getting into the Heathers musical, she was SHOCKED that I knew so much about it. (The movie, not the musical necessarily.) I was like, dude, this is my generation’s thing – what are you even on about? 
D26’s BFF was rejected by all the Ivies. First reaction is that’s not surprising since it’s a crapshoot. What’s tough is that every kid in the top 10 at our school (other than her) was accepted by an Ivy league institution. And since she’s the Salutatorian (with a near perfect SAT score), everyone expected for her to get in to at least one of them.
It’s not just that she was rejected but everyone else got accepted. IMO, a big part of this prestige race is driven by peer pressure. If this was in isolation, would she feel bad? Maybe but probably not as bad when you see everyone else’s results. It’s hard to get away from these unspoken expectations, and not just the classmates but you can almost feel the subtle pressure from the teachers, counselors, and everyone else. Even if not real, for a 17 year old, it seems real when half the people in your AP Classes were accepted to schools that you were rejected.
In the big overall picture, it’s a small blip that no one will probably remember or care a few years later but it’s agonizing to watch your best friend to go through this even though we know these type rejections are highly possible, and even probable for the best students.
It may have this elitist vibe to it but she’s a super down to earth kid who is an amazing person.
We had a very productive night in our house last night. D26 signed up for her orientation and got the dates she wanted/needed. We will fly down June 21 (Sunday) and fly home June 25. I booked our flights, hotel and I am treating myself and doing private airport transfer so I do not have to deal with the ATL Rental Car Center or drive there at all. It is pricey but still cheaper than renting a car! And will be so nice to walk out of baggage claim and be driven the 90 minutes and relax. We won’t need a car once we are on campus anyway. Car rental is around $400, Plus a tank of gas, plus $28/night to park it (x 4 nights)- airport transfer will be $360 RT. Seems like a no-brainer. Anyway, so now I finally feel like I can relax a bit since we know when all of that is happening. She has some things she needs to get done by early June that are required but that is all on her. Time is flying! Next Tuesday is their last regular school day, then they begin senior project. I thought we would never get here- she is crawling across the finish line with three tests and 2 projects this week and another text next week.
Oh, I started this one. I watched the movie with C26 a while back (for reasons I forget now, they were a Winona Ryder fan from something else, so we watched both Edward Scissorhands and this as two of my favorite old films) - then they found the musical and got totally into it and begged that we could see it when we came out here. It seems to have become some kind of cult thing, I don’t think I’ve ever heard applause that loud in a show…and I’ve seen a lot!
That’s really really hard. The peer pressure a lot of students experience with college admissions is on a whole other level.
This is just a PSA for everyone making financial plans for next year or evaluating costs for various school options:
Double check to see whether tuition is charged by the credit unit, or by the semester… and if it’s by the semester, is there an extra charge if they take extra credits?
My D was pleasantly surprised to find out that UBC charges tuition by the credit unit, which means all the credit she replaces with AP exams will essentially earn her a scholarship! 
It also relieved some of D’s worries about the rigor of the engineering program there. Apparently it is not uncommon for students to spread it out over 4.5 or even 5 years, and my D was worried about the additional cost if she ended up having to do this… so it was reassuring for her to know that it wouldn’t mean paying for an extra semester or year of tuition (which is significant at the high international rate).
I also remember that when my S23 was considering Oregon State, we were not so pleasantly surprised to find out that they charged by the unit, because the large number of courses he would have needed for his degree meant that we had to revise our cost estimate upwards. Anyway, it’s a good thing to double check…
The peer pressure is brutal, and I agree it comes from absolutely everywhere. D26 got it when talking to an old elementary school teacher! The audible disappointment in his voice when we said she was looking at her in-state college was really crazy to me.
So awful for her. I think you hit the nail on the head. Her social/emotional experience of the admission denials in that context is far worse than the reality of not getting admitted to those schools. It is awful that kids in those situations feel those pressures and the soul sucking gravity of comparison. I see it with some of my kid’s friends.
After the pain and disappointment of the experience subsides, I hope that she has good options she can turn to and get excited about. In the end, this could also be an experience that builds up traits that will help her succeed in life in ways that constant success never can. Some of the best things that happened to me in life came from not getting what I wanted. Of course, that is cold comfort now. Friends like your daughter are probably much better medicine.
This makes my blood boil! Totally unacceptable from an educator in my view. Get over yourself teacher! Amazing students/people pick state schools all the time and thrive in life.
This sounds like our house! After today, D26 has only 20 school days left. And there are all manner of things happening in those 20 days.
She just finished a successful run of the spring play, which was super fun for both performers and audience. Strike and final senior bows were yesterday. And after having three kids immersed in high school theatre, I am all up in my feels about this being the end of an era.
So that’s it for after-school commitments, but she’s got three AP grades that are high 80s (they’ll be weighted 8 points, so they’re still all As, but she’s never before gotten below an unweighted 90. The struggle between trying to maintain her normal standard and senioritis/already committed to a great school is REAL). And the biggest push is this blasted STEM seminar project due in two weeks. Her teacher is a great human, but he’s an engineer, and she is very much an artsy type – and he’s not a fan of how her brain works. 
I so wish she had just taken AP Comp Sci and been done with it. Alas. (Would she have gotten into Georgia Tech if she’d done that? Unclear.)
Anyhow. We’ll be over here limping along. I so wish I could share a fantastic show poster the photography teacher made of individual portraits of the cast – it looks professional and is just so cool. But I suppose I can’t, so instead, here is a picture of show flowers and our cats.
The 2nd semester senior struggle is getting real over here. And it’s being compounded by some unfortunate events… S26 got mono from his girlfriend AND they broke up (mono can hang out undetected for a while it seems). He no longer has mono but missed a week of class. So now he is sad, woefully behind in a few classes, and pretty unmotivated to catch up.
I’m hoping the fun he is having after posting his bio and photos to the Wesleyan 2030 page will help to cheer him on. Lots of new follow requests, DMs, and a long conversation about philosophy with a potential new roommate.
We have spring break next week and he can also use that time to catch up. We aren’t going to Wesleyan during his break but I’m trying to sort out how we can go for the Admitted Student day for ED kids on April 21. I have to be in NYC for work on April 15 so thinking about flying him out after my work week and driving to CT after that.
I love reading about everyone’s college visits! So excited for @SJ2727’s new Illini and @tamagotchi’s potential new UBC’er (I don’t know the UBC mascot). Safe travels to everyone looking for that perfect fit.
It is the Thunderbird. I enjoyed reading this article from the student newspaper about its history: The gift that gave UBC Athletics its identity and how we need to honour it - The Ubyssey
But I don’t think UBC students are called Thunderbirds…? I get the feeling that Canadian university culture is a bit different from US 
I love this so much! He has a lot of great things to be excited for
For D26s school (RIT)- only a math test is required (for most but not all majors)
They have a foreign language one also- but only for those that are in majors that have a FL requirement.
D26 is really hoping to skip Calculus 1. She has taken AP Cal AB and is currently taking AP Cal BC (also a dual enrolment Calc 2).
RIT is not big on skipping classes like this- but she is really hoping to be able to. She fills at this point she has already over done the Calc 1 material and taking another class would be over kill 
.
She would like to skip Calc 2- but is fine with taking that again.
So we shall see what happens 
Huge Heathers the musical fans here too! The first song I heard from it was “Dead Girl Walking” on the Sirius/XM On Broadway channel. Unbeknownst to me, D26 had found it on TikTok and was listening to the soundtrack non stop. We went to a local teen production which was very good, but I would love to see the actual show. (And I also loved Barrett Wilbert Weed- the original Veronica- in Mean Girls; “Apex Predator” is a fabulous song!)
Very interesting- I did not even pay attention to this when looking at cost comparisons!!
But this is something that many should possibly consider when looking into the financial aspect of the schools. It could make a huge difference for many.
For RIT- same price for 12-18 credits. If only taking 12 hours for a semester- seems like that is a large $$ amount per credit hour compared to taking the 18 credit hrs!!
Peyton List was in the cast (idk her but apparently she has a level of fame) and C26 got a selfie with her!
Same boat here – D26 took AP Calc AB last year and passed the exam with a 5, so she’ll get credit for Differential Calculus (Calc 1). She’s in BC this year, and if she gets a 4 or 5 on the exam, she’ll be able to get out of Integral Calculus also (Calc 2). Both are horrible weed-out classes at GT known to make life hell, LOL, so her calc teacher makes it her personal mission to make sure everyone gets that 4 or 5.
Of course, BC is stressful right now – whatever series stuff in this unit along with Lagrange error bound – bleagh. (I don’t even know what that is – I never took Calc – but D26 is stressed over it. The fact that she voluntarily woke up 30 minutes early to go to office hours after all the theatre stuff is telling.) And worse, the BC exam is at 8 a.m. after we fly back from Houston following D22’s graduation. I’ll be holding my breath hoping it goes well.
If she gets out of both Calc classes, she’ll just have Linear Algebra left, along with an intro computer science class that everyone at Tech has to take regardless of major.
Wait, really?? She was Tory in Cobra Kai! Oh, I’ll have to tell my kids she’s currently in Heathers – although I bet my oldest knows that, lol.
How fun to get a selfie with her!
Thank you , the “fact finding mission” framing was really useful to me. I was really anxious about calling – I don’t really know why, but leading with questions and genuine curiosity definitely helped turn what could have been a stressful conversation into a friendly, collaborative one.
tl;dr yes, it’s the home equity, I’ll appeal, they’ll review – and if I turn this around quickly, they will, too.
Obviously nothing is guaranteed and now we head into April with an asterisk – but at least I’ll know I did my best to support my kid.
In case this is useful for anyone else to know, the person I spoke to was very clear that they don’t ever consider offers from peer schools (she laughed – good naturedly – “I know some retail stores that do that, though!”)
Anyway now I get to write a letter and pull together any possibly-relevant documentation and see if they might make any meaningful adjustments.
I’m optimistic that they’ll adjust – the question is, how much.
