<p>I think it is about as polite as asking someone her bra size!</p>
<p>But my answer used to be, “I don’t know if son is sharing these things.”</p>
<p>I really don’t see what the big deal is. I’ve asked kids from my churches how they did on the SAT/ACT; to me it’s taking interest in a very big aspect of their lives. It’s their choice to tell me an actual score, or “better than I’d hoped”, or as one kid said “I sucked”. Some do a lot better than my kids did, and some did less. </p>
<p>Then again, every person over the age of 13 who is a member of either of my churches votes on my salary every year, which makes it public knowledge: I earn 21,000 a year. With a cost of living increase of 2% just approved last evening at the budget planning meeting.</p>
<p>I’m also in the unenviable position of having to write letters of recommendation for students who will be competing with my daughter for a scholarship. That’s always fun. The winners are reported in the paper every year, so it’s been interesting some years when the kids I write letters for don’t get one and my kid does.</p>
<p>I tell people on CC my kids scores because I think it’s helpful. I’m not sure if anyone has ever asked for either of my sons’ scores IRL among my friends. Scores have been discussed a bit with a brother and an in-law with kids the same age, but even then only vaguely. I know my nephew’s scores were excellent and he got a 12 on the essay and a D in APUSH the last quarter, much to their irritation. I know the oldest niece in that family had good scores, but not quite as strong. I sort of assumed low 700s likely higher in math, but don’t know. She was 3rd in her class. Another nephew who is very similar to my older son also had very similar scores. Can’t remember if we were given exact scores or just ranges. In context I’d be helpful, which might or might not include giving out scores or score ranges. For example I think it’s helpful to know that my younger son got into Tufts, Vassar and Chicago with two scores just under 700, but one way over 700. I think it’s helpful to know that being top 1% of the class and having stellar scores is not enough to guarantee a place at MIT, Caltech or Harvey Mudd.</p>
<p>People are secretive about the weirdest stuff. </p>
<p>I guess I can’t imagine anyone without a good reason for asking would even care what the answer is, so I’d tell them. If they want to compare kids, go right ahead. Not much of a competition if only one of us is playing.</p>
<p>I get what you’re saying, ordinarylives. However, many without any good reason beyond nosiness did ask.
I just didn’t want to feed the competition/comparison business that was going on among some of the parents. Plus, I figured this was son’s info to share or not as he chose.</p>
<p>It can be hard not to play, but after 20+ years in higher ed, I know that, within a pretty big range, standardized test scores are not terribly meaningful. I’ve seen kids with very high scores flunk out and kids with pretty average scores finish with honors because of hard work and determiniation. I’ll take a hard worker over a high scorer most days.</p>
<p>As another poster pointed out, I guess it depends on the situation and who’s inquiring. Personally, I don’t think it’s a big deal. On occasion, I’ll reply, mid-1400s without mentioning that’s M+CR only.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Must respectfully disagree here. If one asks a rude question, one should not whine when they receive a smart aleck answer in return. </p>
<p>Only difference is that my smart aleck answers tended to be along the lines of “0” or “in the negative range” with some nosy jerky parents. I think I said -156 one time to a particularly ornery parent of a classmate I never cared for to begin with.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>They did the same thing in most East Asian educational systems. It was one reason why several relatives, friends, and acquaintances have cited for the highly cutthroat atmosphere, bullying, and suicide rates among students in such systems. </p>
<p>While US schools do post students’ scores in some classes…they are always anonymized…and we all have a good idea of the range of scores without having to tie them to individual classmates.</p>
<p>FWIW, salaries of most government employees are public record due to the freedom of information act. Just google my DH’s name and it all comes up (that’s right, Mr. Blueiguana 
). Annoying to a point, but if someone wants to know his salary that bad they are going to be highly disappointed. They certainly aren’t going to ask us to pick up the tab for dinner in this area after looking! :D</p>
<p>In China , everyone’s scores for college entrance tests are posted on a wall , along with a photo of the student ! I saw this several times traveling through China . The wall is an exterior wall , for all to see !</p>
<p>fauxmaven is right. In the most competitive part of Asia, a kid’s popularity is determined by how good that kid’s academic performance is. And that’s why so many Asian parents emphasize on academic excellence, because that’s the way they grew up.</p>
<p>One needs to understand that grades and salaries are not particularily meaningful when disclosed in general (there, I make just under $100l/year :-)) but can be useful… For example, for those of us who have gone thru the Green Card route, part of the process requires the job to be posted internally/externally with enough graphic detail to identify the individual in question. I found out, for example, that my employer had a tendency to adjust starting salaries a LOT better than existing salaries. Or, that other employers adjust starting salaries nicely for well educated people. This leads to situations where people with 2 years experience make more than their team leader who has been there for a few more years… While individual information is mostly meaningless (what do I care if Bill Engineer makes $102k a year and came from UMich vs my $99k from Purdue) having the knowledge of how such HR-related processes work can be very helpful during salary reviews and the like. </p>
<p>With test scores, it’s not much different. If I know that someone’s kid improved their SAT score by a couple hundred points by taking a specific class, it’s useful. If I know that someone’s kid walked into the PSAT and scored a 220 without prep, and I know that kid well, that means my kid would have a chance to achieve said score with some prep. This knowledge works really well when we get info from kids we more or less know… If I know that my kid’s peers all got 780’s on the SAT and my kid got 400’s, and they all came off the same high school, and took the same classes more or less, that’s useful. </p>
<p>Another example; my younger daughter and her friends all have pretty awesome 8th grade GPA’s (we have not seen a B since 6th grade). But most of her friends study multiple hours a day while my dear daughter breezes thru the material while watching this vampire show or that on Hulu. This tells me my daughter is not challenged, and to look for options (we’re investigating a state residential high school academy for the last couple years of high school). </p>
<p>Likewise, when we know certified ho-hum students moving (often NOT by choice :-)) to parochial or prep schools and becoming academic all stars overnight, or seeing friends’ kids become awesome students because they are in an ‘easy’ school district, again, that all is useful info.</p>
<p>You don’t need to know anyone else’s grades and test scores to figure out how well your child is doing. That is ridiculous.</p>
<p>It’s called ‘context’ and it is quite valuable especially for those of us who did not attend HS in this country… </p>
<p>It is one thing to be alarmed if your student is not cutting it in math even if they answer each and every question and solve every problem in the practice / homework section of the textbook due to the high school’s policy of giving a lot of test questions that were not remotely close to anything in class materials, but quite a different thing to realize that a third of the math faculty make a very comfortable supplemental income by tutoring after hours and that most of your student’s classmates are doing well, thank you, due to the tutoring…</p>
<p>But then, we’re talking about the same school system that forced me to go to the school board to request that my student be allowed to bring completed and graded tests home after the test was taken.</p>
<p>Or, the same school system that makes decisions on who gets the coveted ‘honors’ spots in elementary grades largely by the amount of time the kid’s parents volunteer at the school, and not real academic performance :-)</p>
<p>@ bay</p>
<p>i have posted my son’s score on CC several times. However, i said “it depends on who and for what reason.” you clearly could care less and are only being rude.</p>
<p>Turbo-- my kids’ friends’ GPAs were not only none of my business, but irrelevant in determining how my kids were doing. If my kid gets all As and a B, I can figure out exactly what that means all by myself. Other kids’ study habits are none of my concern. Compete with yourself and leave others out of it.</p>
<p>With friends with shom we talk frequently about the college process, it was not unusual to ask how their kids did when they said they’d gotten their scores back. But ould never ask out of the blue, ancd certainly not as an opportunity to then respond with a brag about my kids scores. That is tacky.</p>
<p>I would never ask anyone what their ACT/SAT/GPA, etc is. I have never posted that specific information about either of my kids and do not plan to. It is their choice to reveal the numbers of they want to, not mine. </p>
<p>I am aware that anyone looking at the Naviance from D’s school could have figured out her stats as she was the first person from her HS school accepted into her college in several years.</p>
<p>But it is rude to ask.</p>
<p>Pizzagirl, you assume an ideal situation where things are fair, everyone wears a size 4, and the school bus is a giant unicorn. That’s not how it works in real life from my 52 years of experience. </p>
<p>I never thought of teachers playing favorites till I moved Stateside and saw how it works; after all, we all idealized the United States as a country where one gets ahead based on what they know and not who they know. </p>
<p>A semester of Discrete Math with a few teachers’ pets in the class (read, Math Honor Society kids) quickly convinced me of the fallacy of our thinking :-)</p>
<p>In an unfair system, any and all information is fair game. Those who think the system is fair are either extremely good, extremely lucky, or extremely naive.</p>
<p>“If my kid gets all As and a B, I can figure out exactly what that means all by myself.”–>Originally I was like this. I never ask other parents what their kids’ grades are. But it was until my son’s junior year, I finally realized that set of grades are not considered good enough in my son’s competitive HS (told by a couple of parents that most “smart” kids in son’s HS are straight A+s, a parent even told me an A- is not a good grade). I truly wish I at least had some ideas of what other kids’ GPA are (not in a way of that to invade other people’s privacy, but instead as a reference) earlier, so son could be more motivated and started challenging himself earlier too. </p>
<p>However, once my family has a basic idea of what other kids’ performances are, I can’t agree more of "Compete with yourself and leave others out of it. "</p>