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<p>Well… it gets complicated these days, though. My dream wedding was to have our wedding at our church, and then to have the reception in my parents’ backyard home, but by the time I got married, my parents were in the midst of a bitter divorce, my dad was trying to sell the house, and I would’ve had to get a court order to allow my mom to go to the reception, so I had to rethink my backyard wedding. Fiddle-dee-dee…</p>
<p>I don’t understand the anti-wedding sentiment, though. What’s wrong with getting everyone you know and love together to have a wonderful celebration filled with joy, music, laughter, fun, and love? My father told me how much he would contribute and I paid for the rest. I made a lot of things (veil included) by hand, we put together our invitations/programs/favors (we portioned out bulk LEGO into little bags and people had a blast building things during the cocktail hour), my cousin was our wedding coordinator, our ceremony musicians were all dear friends of ours (helps to marry a composer), the jazz band were all dear friends of ours, a friend made my jewelry and gave it to me as a gift, and all our big-ticket items were with our guests in mind–sit-down meal so that we could go to each table and visit with them while they had dinner, open bar, gorgeous downtown views (not IN downtown, which was more expensive), a really delicious cake, and a fantastic band. I haven’t talked to a single person who didn’t say it was one of the most joyful days they’d had.</p>
<p>The only thing we splurged on for ourselves was the photography, and it was incredibly worth it. There’s a photo of us during the toasts on my desk, of the both of us freely laughing. I have the frame tilted so that I can refocus my eyes and see, in the reflection of the glass, the smile it puts on my face every time I look at it.</p>
<p>And sure, our wedding wasn’t perfect. I had a horrendous sinus infection and was on three different antibiotics, so I sipped ginger ale the whole evening. I lost my keys at the salon and was late to the church. Just before I was about to walk down the aisle, a bird flew into the large church window and dropped like a stone, leaving a sad little wingprint on the glass. My husband held out the wrong hand, and I put the ring on his right hand. I realized it during communion and couldn’t stop giggling (embarassing!!). A bunch of my family got sick and the groom’s father ended up at a table by himself (we rearranged). The cake turned everybody’s tongues blue (which resulted in one of my favorite pictures, of my bridesmaids sticking their tongues out, which matched their dresses). My dress bustle broke and all the safety pins in the world could not fix it (I finally told my bridesmaids to quit messin’ with it, I’d just throw it over my arm-- worked like a charm!). The groom did not recognize his school fight song when the band started playing it as a surprise. Finally, I forgot my overnight bag in my car and left my car at the church.</p>
<p>And my dad, tears in his eyes as I had never seen before, told me that it had been the most amazing wedding he’d ever been to. My groom and I kept each other up until four in the morning, changing our minds about what the best part of the day had been. Ultimately, the joy was the best part.</p>
<p>The most incredible woman I have ever known was my paternal grandmother. She taught me to sew, to polka, to sing, to smell every rose you come across, to say “fiddle-dee-dee” when things didn’t go your way, to make Thanksgiving dinner for twelve, to adore your family, to see the best in everyone, and to be obsessed with life. The greatest thing that I learned from my grandma when I was little was that life is about experiences. You have to fill as much day with joy and love and happiness as you can, and if you have the means to provide one of those days for all the people you know and adore, then why shouldn’t you take that opportunity?</p>
<p>The trick about weddings is that the right attitude is what makes it a good wedding or a bad wedding-- it has nothing to do with budget, whether large or small.</p>
<p>The wrong attitude is “This day is all about me and I want it to be perfect.”
The right attitude is “This is the first day of the start of a life filled with an incredible love, and I want to bring you along and thank you for making me the person that my new spouse loves. Let’s have the happiest day ever.”</p>
<p>(Thank you, Grandma B.)</p>
darn M&Ms…who knew they could be so expensive???</p>
Now, I want you to print up a copy of your post, and tuck it away in a drawer somewhere so that you can bring it out to show your son or daughter when they are planning their weddings! It would be a pity to lose that post… :)</p>