Wow! @JustaMom , that’s quite a company party! It will be interesting to get feedback about this year’s changes. Some may prefer the new way. I would have been unhappy if my husband was out of town/ out of the country for 3 days (plus travel) right before Christmas when our children were small. Or maybe just jealous.
Holidays are already stressing me out and I know it’s going to likely be a on-the-fly decision, maybe based on weather (often nice enough here in November to be outside.) D2 will be home for winter break. She is behaving and can easily get tested before she flies home, but she has to fly home. D1 is local and is teacher who right now is online, but it is highly likely she will be f2f before then so that makes her a little more iffy.
Toying with idea of doing something between TG and Xmas in order for D2 to have time to quarantine.
One of my husband’s previous companies did a weekend long holiday event. They actually rented a whole wonderful hotel. They had out of town offices and those folks and their families were flown in and housed and fed for the weekend. Those of us at the home office had the choice of staying at the hotel or having limousine service from our homes (the owner didn’t want anyone driving).
So…spouses and kids were not left out!
I love the basket idea and I’m going to suggest that to DH for at least his team. There isn’t going to be a holiday event this year, and I think the basket idea is a nice way to take away some of the disappointment.
The same thing those of us who live in furnaces do in the summer—hibernate for a few months. We’ve been imprisoned in our homes for weeks now and are just beginning to feel the breeze at the end of the tunnel.
But, there’s no place on earth I’d rather be than my own home, so it’s not a burden. We are fortunate to live in a Club-Med-like resort community year-round though, of course, right now most of our amenities are restricted/reservation-only but, still, it’s beautiful here even if all we can safely do is take long walks in the early AM. Our upcoming winter weather posed an issue for us with some family and friends in the Midwest and back east who count on staying with us during the holidays and at various times over the winter, but we’ve been firm that our B-n-B is closed for the season. We’ll reevaluate later next year. Everyone needs to be flexible, and it isn’t going to kill anyone to skip Thanksgiving, Christmas, New Year’s, or any other holiday for one season. If we haven’t figured this out by next year, we’ve got much bigger problems than missing a few over-hyped meals and stressful get-togethers.
Bumping this up to see how things are going.
Me, not that well.
I’ll first state that my husband and I are people for whom obligation and responsibility is very important. We do a lot of things not because we want to, but because it’s the right thing to do.
I think that spring was easier because there weren’t all these minefields to navigate. No obligations because we were home.
Now, sigh!
A funeral, an older friend has arranged a traditional viewing and memorial service. I had a discussion with my husband about that we can stop into the viewing with masks and get in and out. That of course we would go to the memorial service except for that pesky global pandemic!
We’ve been invited to a family members cottage. It’s another minefield.
And the holidays? Oh boy, I’ve had a lot of pushback from my family. There have been a lot of conversations and hurt feelings.
Add the fact that my neighbors and family members are not social distancing as we are but all claim about how careful they are being. They are only socializing with people they know!
Looks like my daughter has worked out a way to get home for Thanksgiving. A friend who is driving home will drop her off about an hour from where we live and we will pick her up there (and the reverse for the ride back). He is being extra careful as his mother is undergoing cancer treatment right now. She will probably isolate a little extra right before the trip. We have a backup plan of we drive up to her, spend a night in a hotel, and bring her back with us. The ride back would still be with the friend. It actually will mean a longer stay with us and she will spend some of it working from home here.
My daughter also invited another friend who lives near her to join us for the holiday if he wants. All his family is a plane ride away and so he would be spending Thanksgiving alone. I really hope he takes her up on this offer, I don’t want anybody to be alone for the holiday.
Our holidays usually include my family (6ish) and SO’s, my 87 year old mom, brother’s family of 5 or so and an out of state brother family of 4 at Christmas.
Out of state brother surely will not come. Out of equation for 2020.
My biggest worry has been my mom - holidays without the family together = WHAT?!
However, she has expressed recently on two different occasions that “we are just going to have to forget the holidays. We just have to be happy we are all healthy”. I’m not sure if this is here convincing herself that it’s the way it has to be. 
<3
So the dilemma now is what to do with mom. She is seeing me/H and one brother and his wife weekly - we have to take her to appts, take her for food shopping (we did this for her earlier in the pandemic), etc. My thought was she has the holiday dinner with my brother who lives in her town and we see her to “celebrate” either before of after. But again, RISK.
It is “easy” to say that “this is just one year, next year we can all be back together”. But when you’re 87 and living alone seeing no one most of the week? The mental toll cannot be denied. Honestly, I think I would die a little inside if my mom is home alone on Thanksgiving or Christmas. I would rather she spend it with my brother and we lose out. How can I enjoy some holiday time with my family knowing she is alone?
We live in Michigan/Ohio so, outside holidays are not happening.
We have a tentative plan to gather for Thanksgiving with my parents and my H’s sister and her family (at our house).
As part of the plan, all will quarantine at home for three days, get tested the Monday before Thanksgiving, then continue to quarantine until Thanksgiving morning (hopefully receiving a negative test result on Wednesday). It will require that all grocery shopping be done in advance or via delivery, and that my SIL and family won’t travel to us until Thanksgiving morning (they live 3 hours away).
It is all very tentative at this point - I would say there is a 50/50 chance of us actually making it happen.
Adding this comment:
This whole situation? Sheds a light on how important the traditions and time we have together with family is. Not the gifts. The last thing of worry here is gifts.
Lol, my mom says this also. But in a very passive aggressive way! I think I’ve convinced (told) her to go to my sister’s house. Mom isn’t worried about catching Covid, she’ll have to die sometime. Also said in the most passive aggressive way.
I would also add, for those of who can “easily” quarantine for however many days as needed, please be cognizant of others who cannot do that. People are going to work everyday and doing their best to minimize risk but in truth, they MUST be outside of home.
Just take that into consideration as you make plans for all family members.
I personally am not worrying about people going to work or to doctors appointments, normal things that we have to do. Because work for the people I know involves masks and social distancing policies. Same thing with groceries or other shopping.
I am more worried about friend and family gatherings that I am seeing on social media. Larger groups of people together with no masks and lots of dining inside restaurants. I am seeing a lot of this. This worries me.
We are doing immediate family for Thanksgiving plus my in-laws. One child is at home anyway, one has about a 6 hour drive, and the other a long plane flight from the West Coast. We’d do it inside but for my in-laws, so we’ll space out a few tables on the porch. The only complication is I’d like to invite my mother, but if I do then my in-laws won’t come (somehow, that 8th person on the porch is the tipping point for them). They have nowhere else they will go than our house, while my mother has two other nearby options with my siblings.
I’ve been worried about this all too. Abasket, I’m with you on this about worrying about the 89 yr old in-laws alone and my 79 yr old parents. I have two college kids (one out of state) and a HS kid who is in school; so there is lots of potential exposure. 
My CA sis is coming out; we can bundle up and walk outside a ton … but to eat outside its not going to happen. Midwest winters are cold.
I will say, I’ve had two friends; their college kids had covid; came home and isolated; and none of the parents or siblings caught it. . . . so that was slightly encouraging to hear.
I always suggest to people around where I live to go out as much as they can in the winter. We have what I call nice midwest winters (most others call them harsh – 50+" of snow a year with nearby places getting a lot more). Majority of people effectively hibernate for 4 months a year. Crazy to me. Unlike oppressive heat in summer in certain parts of the country, you can dress for winter. Many walking trails (at least around here) are cleared during the winter. Places that have winter festivals with outdoor activities. Can gather with friends (distanced) outside around a firepit or propane heater. Doesn’t have to be every day for extended periods of time (I have a dog that needs 2 walks a day no matter what the weather so it is every day). Even 1-2x a week for relatively short periods of time can help a lot.
Open your windows every chance you get. Doesn’t have to be 50-60 degree day. Just 10-15 minutes will bring in a lot of fresh air into your house. HVAC system should return to normal temp soon after you close the windows. But the fresh air will remain typically for several days. And no bugs.
^^^^ I don’t disagree with that and my motto is “there is no bad weather, only bad clothing” - but unless we are walking carrying a turkey leg to munch on or are pulling elderly relatives in a sled so they don’t slip on snow/ice, outside time does not a holiday make!!!
Who knows maybe Thanksgiving day/weekend will bring some oddly warm weather - warm enough to eat outside or take a family walk and have a picnic. It’s happened before late in November - but highly unlikely. These are the facts.
We are all splitting up into smaller groups this year so no one is alone and then Zooming in to a larger get together.
My family will quarantine 5 days (we can work from home and college is online, so they can come back a little early) and test (quick and easy in my area) before driving to see my mom. I hope that’s enough.
I think that many people will be planning to test a few days before Thanksgiving. Several of you have mentioned that as part of the plan. This will probably have a big impact on testing volume and you may not be able to get tested the day you want.
My mom says the same thing, let’s stay apart and stay healthy. She turns 90 at the end of Oct but doesn’t want me to come, even driving (15 hours each way), for fear I will get sick and die. My brother died a year ago so I understand her fear. I’m respecting her wishes and staying home. Do you think that’s the right thing to do?
@saillakeerie I agree with you about getting outdoors in the winter. We New Englanders do that as much as possible.
But that’s very different than having a Thanksgiving or Christmas dinner outside which just isn’t a realistic plan here. It’s also very different for our 88 year old grandparents who just don’t do the outside thing as much as they did when they were younger.
DH and I will have Thanksgiving just the two of us this year. We live a good distance from either of our families. The one kid who lives nearby is working that day.
Christmas is looking similar except the nearby kid might be able to come to open holiday gifts and have brunch. Our kitchen/breakfast room/family room is one large space. Plenty of room to distance for four people with masks on. Normally they would spend the day and we would have dinner with them, but I think that’s not happening this year.
MIL will go to one of DHs siblings who lives near to her. That sibling has been taking MIL to doctors appointments, etc. Everyone in their house is WFH. Their college kid will be home before Thanksgiving…and is driving.
They invited us to come, but that’s not going to happen.