pomfret or day school?

<p>one of my friends got into pomfret recently, and also a catholic day school that i will be going to in the fall. obviously i want her to go to high school with me, but she's leaning towards pomfret. she thinks that even though we live in NH, she will come home every weekend to play on an elite lacrosse and field hockey team. i told her she wouldn't have any friends if she did this, and she didn't believe me. any advice?</p>


<p>Many boarding schools, including Pomfret, have closed weekends for students, meaning the student cannot leave campus--so your friend would not be allowed to go to her games.</p>

<p>I remember a similar situation where fall ice hockey teammates of my son's went to Pomfret and thought they would make every weekend ice hockey game in Massachuetts and I as I recall they were unable to make any of the games</p>

<p>She should check with Pomfret and the coaches to see what their rules are now</p>

<p>thank youu! that helps the argument a lottt.</p>

<p>Pomfret might be a great opportunity for her though. What caused her to apply? It's hard to see one's friends go in different directions; be careful to be supportive and consider what would be best for her, even if you wish it were something else. You don't want to be the one who held her back, if she thinks she wants to try something new and adventurous. Have you looked at the Pomfret website?</p>

<p>My son goes to a bs and is also on a premier soccer team. His school does indeed allow him to travel to games and tournaments. (He is lucky in that his club has allowed him to stay on and attend games/tournies but miss mid-week practices). He was also granted permission for a four day leave from school to attend nationals earlier this year.
His school does have occasional "closed week-ends". There is always a closed w/e after a break, and there are also closed w/e's for special events, like Founder's Day. My son's school has allowed him to leave on the after-break closed w/e for soccer. His school does believe in supporting a student's pursuits for high level events and this is indicated in the student handbook. My son hopes to play D1 soccer and the school knows that in order to achieve that goal, he has to maintain a year-round affiliation with a strong club team. I do believe other schools would do this as well. He has a friend at Andover who leaves to play club lacrosse on w/e's as well as a teammate from his soccer team who is at Exeter and continues with his club team.
He does not come home every w/e, but quite a few. It hasn't affected his ability to form strong bonds at bs, though. I don't believe your friend will lose friends at home or at school. My son still spends time with his friends here at home. His older brother also managed to maintain that same balance through 4 years of bs. We live an hour away and he came home most w/e's as a freshmand and sophomore, but stayed most w/e as a junior and senior as was an RA and student leader which both required his presence on w/e's.
As momof2sons advised, your friend should check with the Dean of Students at Pomfret that she will be allowed to do this.</p>

<p>thankss. that makes a lot more sense.
and quenn; i'm not trying to hold her back.
but she's been flip flopping about this forever. first
she cried and said she didn't want to leave, then she
wanted to again. now she doesn't want to stay here.
i just want her to do the right thing, and it seems
like her choices are based on just this team.
i don't know. ughhh.</p>

<p>And that is a difficult decision. Hopefully, the school will help her fit in both. If she is a high level player (to the point that not being on the club team will affect her chances at collegiate play), then I would hope they would be willing to work with her.</p>

<p>me too. but i do want her to go to the same school as me.
its harddd.</p>

<p>Please don't let her know that you want her to stay with you. It will make her decision all the more difficult. My son has a friend who is like a brother to him; they have been friends since they were toddlers. My son's going away to bs has not affected their friendship. My son still sees his friend several times a month....his friend has even spent a w/e at my son's bs and we take the friend with us sometimes to see my son's games.</p>

<p>Hmmm Prepp, didn't you apply to Groton this year? Had you been accepted, wouldn't you be separated from your friend ? (She would either be at the day school or Pomfret and you'd be at Groton.) If the situation were reversed, how would you have felt if your friend pressured you to stay at your current school, instead of attending Groton? I don't think you would like it--it would make you feel bad.</p>

<p>thanks for all of your good points.
its not just that i don't want her to leave,
its just that i don't think she should be making
her decision based on a lacrosse team. i know
its not my place to decide for her. we're good
friends, but we're not that close. i guess its
just different because we could be going to
the same school. if i had gotten into groton,
it would have been different, and both of us
would have been happy, because we both would be going
to our first choice schools. we'd both be happy for each other.
i think the point is
that she's making a decision based solely
on this lacrosse team. her parents might
think differently, i don't know.</p>

<p>Maybe I'm just weird, but I don't see how she's making the decision solely on a lacross team? If she was making the decision only on a lacrosse team at home, she would be staying at home and going to day school, where she would be sure that she could attend all practices and games.</p>

<p>Let your friend make the choice for herself...it's her decision, whether or not she's making it because of a lacrosse team. Be happy for your friend wherever she decides to go.</p>

<p>it confuses me too.
and that's what i've
decided to do.
thanks, arky.</p>