I see nothing wrong with asking a good guy friend and each paying their own way or going with a group of friends. Proms are very pricey for guys if they feel they have to pay for everything. My son’s tux was almost 200 last year, corsage 30, dinner 60, tickets 15 for seniors and 35 for other grades…did I forget anything? I don’t think many kids do the limo thing at our school so none of my kids have done that.
I hope your daughter gets to go but it might take some initiative on her part. Best of luck!
My daughter also had no date. She went with a group of girls and boys, all had a blast! They took group pictures, and all the boys in the group posed with the girls singularly so the girls had the “date” looking picture. The whole group also rented a limo together. This year, my son has no plans to ask anyone. He said there is no one he wants to be tied to all night vs. just hanging out with a bunch of friends. He is plannng to do the same thing my daughter did. I even offered to pay for the tickets! no luck, he wants to go with his big group of friends. Tell her to plan now with her friends, and get the limo etc. set up.
D wanted to go last year (Junior Prom) but didn’t have a date and didn’t want to go with a group of girls so she opted out. This year she has a steady boyfriend who wants to go but she doesn’t. She offered him up to her best friend LOL but that didn’t go over well from what I gather. Can’t wait to see how this turns out. I’m of the opinion that proms are NOT a big deal and it irks me to have my parents and friends keep saying “its her only senior prom, she has to go, she’ll always know she missed out”. Missed out on what? A $500 affair where the girls try to outdo each other?
Yes, she needs to ask someone if she wants to go. It might be easier if she could get together with one or two other girls and ask boys to go with them as a group. My Dd and her best friends did this one year and had a great time. The boys they asked were just friends from science lab and it was understood that weren’t romantically interested in one another. I was really grateful that “times had changed” from when I was in high school, where girls never went alone and waiting to be asked was the norm.
In my senior year, (it was 1969) a couple of young women who today would be considered alternative, decided to put on an “Anti-Prom” the same night as the school prom. They put out invitations through word-of-mouth, although made it clear that no one was excluded. Well, it was fortunate that the hostess had a large home, because the party was a huge success. Many kids in the “popular crowd” who went to the real prom came by afterwards, and it turned out to be the event of the year. But then, that was the 60s and we were radicals. 
My friend group did something fun together for Anti-Homecoming for three years, but it wasn’t that big of an event! That Anti-Prom sounds great.
OP: i get this. truly. it’s hard to see them wondering about it all, and sometimes disappointed.
I have a sr. boy; and a jr. girl. I see the pressure about prom so much bigger on my daughter than my son. Son went to the “after prom” with a bunch of guys his jr. year. It was fun.
The girls seem to have higher expectations and more pressure to have the right dress, get the up-do, nails, make-up , asked, have a group, etc. It’s easy to say “grab a group of friends” but even that is often hard to do, if the friends have dates and other plans. although i’m not in this situation for this year’s prom, i’ve been there before for homecoming.
so; what i’ve done is what others say. talk to her honestly, try not to make a big deal, find something fun to do with her if she doesnt go, or encourage her to show up to the “after-prom” is the school is hosting one. Or Go volunteer somewhere for the evening. Take the money that you’d spend on the who evening and go out of town. I really do think the girls take this harder than the boys though, from what i’ve seen. good luck; give her a hug.
@megpmom I went with a gay boy to prom (at that time he was called “sensitive and shy”) I will always call that the best date I ever went on. We had such a blast. That was the first, but not the last time a gay friend came to my rescue and “saved my life.” And my gay brother and I still pull out the pictures from the many proms and dances he went to and we laugh so hard we cry.(you know–platform shoes and aqua tuxes). It is a lot more fun when the sexual tension is out of the picture and dancing is all that counts.
How I hate the promposal
My daughter sounds like yours. The rules ( or norms really ) at her school have changed a lot over the last decade.
Girls do not ask boys. They seldom go with groups of other girls like they did when my older girls were prom age.
And you apparently have to go with whoever asks.
Silly.
Last year, she was a tad dramatic because she liked a boy, he asked her, then she didn’t like him anymore because he just wouldn’t leave her alone and came on really strong. We felt bad for the kid…nice boy but socially awkward.
She swore that she would go solo this year , but I don’t think that is going to happen. I have heard from a boy we know that one of her guy friends is going to ask her…and also, she thinks a boy in her group likes her and he may ask too…so I wouldn’t give up , OP
There were several kids last year who paired up at the last minute.
I do understand your concern about it…we all want our kids to have positive experiences
Argghh…I guess customs come and go and I certainly hope that promposal goes and never comes back…thank goodness that was never in the picture.
Guess we all see these things from the 20 year or so later eyes. I would have loved to have had my D’s and S’s cavalier attitude about a date for the prom. What should be just fun was a source of angst for me… My kids fared better thinking it as party time.
Where is the busybody, matchmaking friend when you need her? You know, the one that goes around suggesting strongly that this person should ask that person? They can sure come in handy sometimes.
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I only had boys, but made darn sure that both of them asked girls to the prom. One had a GF and the other invited a female friend.
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We had a prom party at our house for S2 and we had traditional dates, platonic dates and a group of girls. I don’t know how the dance went, but they all seemed happy at our house.
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When I was a senior, about 20 of our lovely senior boys showed up at school wearing winter snow clothing and carrying blocks of ice. The message was that we were frigid and informed us that they were asking 10th grade girls to the prom. Us girls spent prom night at an all night drive in movie event and had a blast. I still cannot believe that we we were the ones who felt embarrassed. 40 years have past and I hope that today no girl or school official would tolerate this behavior.
I have been happily married for 32 years. I consider myself well-adjusted. And guess what? I never attended my prom. Neither did my H. My S was so relieved when he found this out … he had not wanted to attend his prom, but “everyone” said he’d “regret it” if he didn’t. 5 years later, he is still happy he didn’t feel the need to go. D went with her friends, but she said afterwards that it was weird & she would have preferred not to go … she and some friends left early and had a great time at another friend’s house, having a bonfire with their family.
It’s not that big a deal in the scheme of life, I promise. 
My son’s group of friends, mostly guys but some girls, had an anti-formal. A lot cheaper and a lot more fun, and they could pick where to go.
I feel your pain. D is in a similar situation. Both sons were ditched by their date the week of prom and had to rescue a date, which seems easier from a boy’s standpoint. So.much.drama. We bought dresses early last year. She was going, she wasn’t going. It’s tax season, I’m working 80 hour weeks. Girls here do go in groups because there always seem to be more of them interested in attending.
We do the hair and makeup the big day, put on the dress. Hmm, I had completely forgotten she’s 5’2" and the dress was made for a very tall girl…we ended up chopping it off with scissors and very thankfully, it had a tulle top layer that covered my ineptness.
So, I’m a loser at parental prom, but I really hope it works out for both our D this year.
I hate promposals. They are, as has been said, a potential flop for the guy who asks a girl he’s not dating. And if you are a steady couple, well, isn’t it kind of assumed that if you go it will be with each other? Ugh. The nice thing about school dances, at least at my school it was in some ways an easier way to ask someone out. You know, it’s a big thing, everyone’s going, why don’t we go together?
Thanfully they do not seem to be a big thing at my kids’ school. And going solo or with friends is common.
Grab your daughter by the arms and say, “You is smart. You is kind. You is important.” and giber her a nice kiss and a hug.
She doesn’t need a date. She needs those who she wants to be around: her friends. Those are the people who will make the night.
What’s hard for the OP is that as a mom, it doesn’t matter if it shouldn’t matter or shouldn’t be a big deal. If your child cares and hurts because of it, telling her it’s really not that big a thing doesn’t help. Not the most fun parent moment. Hope she finds friend to ask or some friends to go with. Really glad my girls didn’t care that much.
If she’s worked on the prom can’t she attend as a worker of some sort (and ditch the job if need be)? Sort of a “had to be here to make things go smoothly?” ticket taker, help with music, whatever.
What OP should do is divert her daughter’s attention to things that she see’s in her daughter that boosts her morale and confidence. That’s what my mom has always done and has woken time and time again even if I’m bawling and smiling at the same time.
Just have to support her, be with her in the times of difficulty, and nudge her right back up.
Niquii! Good to “see” you again! Hope all is well! You are very insightful. Your mom did exactly the right thing.I was…unpopular in high school, though a good student with some solid friends. I got teased a bit-now you would call it bullying, and my parents never let me forget that I had qualities that those people couldn’t/wouldn’t see. I wasn’t all about the prom, and there were certainly no promposals, nor was I dating anyone. Parents help me work out a friend date with a family friend, and I had a pretty good time. But prom or otherwise, the best things we as parents can do is make suggestions, sit back and just be there for our kids.
My D’s school is quite small, so the prom is less formal and for all 4 HS grades. D went solo last year, as did most of the kids, and there is no over the top spending or proposal nonsense, for which we are ALL grateful. For homecoming both years she has asked friends, but the all hang out in groups anyway. This makes so much more sense and takes so much pressure off of everyone. It’s a shame it’s so built up in some schools.