OP - I hope things work out for your D Hugs.
When S was a Senior I told him I wanted him to ask a girl and I preferred that he ask a Senior girl as then there would be one more Senior girl who had a date.
At our school it’s all about your social group. S2s group went as 80% singles which made me happy since the girls paid their own ticket/dinner/limo fees. They took tons of parties in various combinations. I’d encourage her to confide in a couple of girlfriends that she’d like to attend and maybe they’d help find her a date. I didn’t attend my senior prom and I turned out just fine :-).
While my D is an extrovert and would make it happen for her, I was in your D’s shoes in HS and did not go to the prom. Do I care now? No. But I sure as heck did back then.
I hope it works out for your D and her dream comes true. But, as others have mentioned, there is a risk it won’t. Your daughter needs to own the process and decide if not going because she was not asked will be acceptable. If not, then she needs an alternative plan. At my D’s all girls school and really in this region it is not unusual for girls to go as a group of singles. If your D does decide to do that, she needs to be happy with the decision and not feel like a loser. Make it a fun and memorable night with just the girls. Start the day off getting mani/pedis with the group, go someplace fun for dinner, etc. Even if going as a group of singles isn’t normal practice, it doesn’t mean it can’t be done.
How friendly are you with her classmates parents? Perhaps someone has a S in a similar situation and you could do a little matchmaking on the side without your D knowing if you think she just can’t do this on her own.
Best of luck and make sure your D knows not having a date does not define who she is.
I think one issue is that this girl has been on the Ways and Means committee for this prom for a couple of years. It is a bigger deal if she doesn’t go. Imagine working on an event for two years and not getting to go.
I think she needs to look outside the school and find a young man…
If that fails, go with friends.
Agreed mom2.
She also needs to understand that “the boy asks girl he really likes scenario” is probably not the case with most prom dates.
She might never hear the background of how many of the girls ended up with “dates.”
Thanks everyone. I know that in the long run she will be fine no matter what. It’s just hard to watch. There is a prom fashion show at the high school this weekend which will light a fire under all of the girls. Generally, I don’t bring the subject of Prom up when I am with her, but we are spending a good bit of time together this weekend, and if given the chance, I will suggest (again) that she either consider going with friends, or asking someone. I honestly think friends are the best option, but her friends without dates are all still hoping to be asked.
She doesn’t have to ask someone, she needs to GET someone to ask her. That’s what girls used to do when the boys were too immature to figure it out.
Tired Already, just keep things positive and upbeat and not too life changing serious! The prom fashion show is a perfect opportunity to say something like “wow, how fun to see all those dresses! You and your friends should jump on board and just ask friends so you can start planning all the other details!” Try to keep the whole idea as “fun” and not like another assignment or task to conquer senior year. 
Or even go out and try on some dresses this weekend- might give her the push and confidence to do what it takes to go.
JustOne Dad: I went to a lot of dances as a girl because I was good at that. Thinking back, when we were in junior high, the girls asked the boys because we were in groups that held dances and they weren’t. I did ask, and did get shot down sometimes. But if I really wanted to go, I persevered until I found someone. Funny to remember that now. I was shy and nerdy, but hated to miss anything and so would make myself be brave enough to ask somebody.
OP, if she were my daughter, I would encourage her to be brave enough to go, to figure out some way to make it work. In my life I have regretted more the times I was afraid to try something new than when I tried and failed. In the grand scheme of things, going to prom isn’t so important, but it does seem that way in the spring of senior year.
Sorry, I haven’t read the whole thread, but is there a reason why she can’t just ask someone?
@romanigypsyeyes, she is yearning to be asked, and a little shy. Hopefully she will realize that the whole promposal thing is overblown and that many of the girls she knows are going “with” a boy because they asked him!
Ah! I see that now. I just skimmed the OP.
Best wishes to your D. I understand the wanting to be asked thing (even if I was always the one who did the asking). I hope she is able to go one way or another
As I mentioned above, D’s school doesn’t go all in for this, but some of the comprehensive HS’s at least have formal proms and some girls expect to be asked, if not proposed to. I was talking with her about this thread and she said some of her friends at these other schools are flipping out because they haven’t been asked and are despairing because they’ll miss “the most important day of high school”. D said, “I kind of understand, but I always thought GRADUATION was the most important day.”
I hope the OP’s D decides to go with friends or not at all, rather than place so much importance on a dance. Mom can help her with that.
I haven’t read every page, so I hope I’m not repeating. As the mother of a son who will be a senior next year. I can confidently state that he will have no interest in going to prom and it would never occur to him to ask someone. If a girl were to ask him, though, I imagine he would say yes and go (and have a good time). More girls than boys are interested in formal dances, and I imagine that more than half of the “dates” are arranged by girls - either by asking outright or by getting a boy to ask.
I went to an all-girls’ HS so I asked boys to junior and senior prom. Everyone did. It was easier that way.
I hate this for her! Girls have been watching the notebook their entire lives or all the romantic movies and books yet not many guys that age can live up to that fanciful notion.
I remember that like it was yesterday - I would have loved to have been asked as well, but ended up both jr and sr year asking the boy myself. And back then it just wasn’t a thing to go as a group of girls.
My d was the girl with the boyfriend so she had the same date both years. We hosted the pre-prom party and plenty of girls went alone. Even some boys went alone.
I know it’s not the dream to be the one doing the asking but she has to ask herself - would she rather not go than ask someone? Would she rather go with other girl friends or some guy she asks?
I know at my daughters school the past two weeks became everyone kind of helping out their friends who didn’t have dates find them. But each school culture is different.
I hate this too. I also was on the prom committee in HS and had no date. I asked a guy because my friends told me he would say Yes and he ended up saying No because another girl had already asked him who he really did not care for and he thought it would be rude to then show up with me. So I asked yet another guy in a different grade and he said Yes and we had fun, just as friends.
My S was not into prom at all and did not go while he was in HS. I kept trying to tell him to think of all the poor girls like me who would love to go, but the idea of wearing a tux and dancing ON PURPOSE was not appealing. Both years he did go to the after party extravaganza planned by the school - which most kids said was better than prom anyway. Ironically last year he did come home from college for prom because his GF was a HS senior. He said it was okay but not worth the hype.
I hate hate hate the prom-posal thing. I think it’s mainly kids who are already dating, the pressure is on the guy to ask his GF in a creative way. Or at least kids who are sorry of dating. I don’t think I’d expect a big proposal if a guy just wanted to go as friends.
I am so glad nowadays that tickets are sold individually and kids can go by themselves, with girlfriends, as couples or whatever. I definitely see a lot of mixed groups going. Shame on schools who still require boy-girl couples to buy tickets.
I do think it is a big deal to attend at least one homecoming and prom. S1 was a jock and could have cared less about going, but I felt it was important to go to just one of each…which he did with my insisting. Now I wish I had made him attend more after reading this post. I do think he was asked by a girl who always had a major crush on him for homecoming and then had to do the stupid prom proposal for the other gal. I think it consisted of her reaching in a bag of candy he bought with one wrapped in a note asking her if she would go to prom with him. Unfortunately, S1 is used to being chased by girls and not having to put much effort forth, but probably wouldn’t have dared turn down girls if they had asked him.
D and S2 were on the planning committee all 4 years for prom, so if they didn’t attend at least one it would have been a big deal after choosing venues etc. I would definitely give her a push for asking someone this weekend when you are together. Her friends can even do the scouting and find out if so and so even wants to go before she asks.
Be careful about asking a guy or girl out of district! At my son’s school is that the out of school student has to get permission in writing from their principal (of the other school) to attend my son’s school’s prom! This can take weeks apparently, depending on the other school. It has to do with liability, related to signing the paperwork about no alcohol and following our school’s school rules on drug and alcohol use, as well as behavior.
Same at ours but it doesn’t take very long. Our kids also take a Breathalyzer when they are coming into the dance. Times and technology have sure changed since we were kids!
I don’t think it’s important for boys (or girls) to attend a prom-and I certainly wouldn’t FORCE them. Good grief, some kids are not all about tradition and trappings and dates with people they barely know just because “everyone” does it. My son would have rather had his fingernails ripped out than go to a prom, much less be forced. He doesn’t even like birthday parties where he is the center of attention. He stopped them in his teens. My older D went with the boy she’d promised she’d go with because they were dating when he asked. They had a miserable time because they’d since broken up. They should have just skipped it.
But I will agree about checking well ahead if you’re inviting an out-of-district (or sometimes out of school) kid to an event. For our school, the principal has to sign a form that must be returned as the original only-no faxing, scanning and emailing. That can take awhile. And there are also sometimes age limits, like no one who’s already graduated can attend.