<p>Is foul language just an expected immature expression of independence or do parents really not know nor care that their child spews the f word (and much more) continuously throughout their day.</p>
<p>D’s teammate took her ipod while riding a bus home from a game and added info to her skype profile that she thought was funny. When d skyped her grandparents, they saw it and although they knew someone else did it, it was a shocker. </p>
<p>When d confronted the girl, she thought it was funny. The girl told her dad what she did (knowing he would think it was funny) and he responded that ‘her parents just don’t have a sense of humor.’</p>
<p>C’mon parents. Just because “everybody does it” doesn’t make it right. We easily measure our kids activities by their academic accomplishments. We need to continue to monitor their habits of character, as well.</p>
<p>I think your daughter has had an interesting life lesson that many people (and their parents) are not as mature as you think. Goes to show the apple doesn’t fall far from the tree.</p>
<p>As to how to approach, I think she has learned to keep her distance from teammate. </p>
<p>I would advise that you talk to her advisor and coach and let them know that your D will be keeping distance from teammate, relaying the story in graphic detail, saying your daughter doesn’t need the familial problems teammate is causing. One or the other should bring up the issue of cultural sensitivity (a lesson sorely needed) with said teammate, explaining that her actions are breaking down the bonds that make a team and community strong and that she needs to think about the unintended impact of her actions.</p>
<p>That sounds way harsh goaliedad. The teammate did not know the girls grandparents would be seeing it. I think it was meant as a harmless prank. Banning all interactions with this girl is extreme.</p>
<p>I’m not sure exactly what you use skype for hockeykid, but most boarding school kids use it to communicate with family back home. Grandparents are generally included in this category. Entirely forseeable. And even if this is not the brightest bulb in the chandellier, a simple apology (as opposed to dad laughing it off) might have been an appropriate gesture when notified of the impact of the prank.</p>
<p>And if you read my post carefully the words “banning all interactions” never appeared. I suggested that she keep her distance. Obviously, there are times when it is required to interact with someone, but beyond this, contact is ill advised based upon the lack of consderation expressed by the teammate in both the “prank” and the attitude taken when the prank went awry.</p>
<p>I accept that young folks (and many of us older ones as well) do things that have unintended consequences out of poor planning on our part, but as we mature, we learn that a contrite apology goes a long way to reestablishing ourselves in our community.</p>
<p>I agree that foul language has become too commonplace with young people. When I see the “f-bomb” on my kid’s fb sites (not from my kids because they know better, but in comments from their fb friends), I let them know and they do take the posts down.</p>
<p>Thanks for the responses. Goalidad, you’re right, it gave us an opportunity to reinforce that maturity doesn’t go by chronological age. Good advice to talk to her advisor to keep her apprised of why she’ll be keeping a distance. </p>
<p>We do the same w/fb, keylyme. Maybe because kids know parents see fb, there isn’t too much stepping over the line. </p>
<p>BS is an interesting social experiment wherein smart, talented, busy kids in a rigorous learning environment use the same vulgarities that you might expect in the exact opposite environment. …and girls are equal to boys in this competition.</p>
<p>you guys are too funny. you’re all basically saying “Well I know MY child would NEVER use profanity!” and " Well dearykins, if that naughty girl used bad words in a “prank” than you should’nt talk to her if you don’t have to."
calm down jeez</p>
<p>Kids will use profane language to emphasize their point. In common language because its what we do.(-> it started out as a form of rebellion and now has broken its way into common speech) And yes, as pranks. Please note that most do not swear every other word and only occasionally. We’re not that ridiculous.</p>
<p>Especially on the field/court/rink. There are some teams my daughter tells me that could make a truck driver blush. In this environment, they seem to be trying to use it to their competitive advantage.</p>
<p>Yes, kids have used profane language for a long time. However, typically that is in the presence of their peers and not adult or authority figures. Do you prank your friends in such a way as to expose their relatives to vulgarities? I don’t remember that as being normal in any time. I think this is where the issue is in this thread. We adults recognize that there is a different relationship and language for kids at their peer level. We just don’t think that this relationship and language should bubble up 1 and 2 generations up.</p>
<p>People don’t usually use profanity in front of adults unless they’re chill or overly chill.
I’m just saying that you guys seem a bit hypersensitive and sheltering/protective.</p>
<p>FB is usually used to communicate w/ friends and people usually forget about their parental onlookers. Thus talking semi-like we would normally.
Skype is a whole different thing. My sister uses it to contact not only family but friends when she is home. The girl(^) was probably just having fun and didn’t think about who was seeing it. no need to be so uptight about it.(not you,in general)</p>
<p>i agree with you about the bubbling up. I would never swear to my grand parents or parents. mainly b/c they would act like “SIN, <em>insert name here</em> how dare thou utter such foul language and besmirch this household! Go cleaneth thine mouth!”</p>
<p>I would never do that to someones skype but I don’t think the girl meant any harm (assuming she’s on good terms with your child) sometimes people can be really annoying and not think things through. I very rarely seriously swear (the F bomb, S ect…) outside of the company of my best childhood friend who is one of the few people I’m relaxed with. I would never do it in front of someone I didn’t know well because it makes you sound stupid. I know plenty of people at school who can’t seem to form a sentence without using profanity. However I do agree with Plaid that you may be over reacting a little bit, at least from a kids perspective but I guess it just comes from being worried what your kids exposed to when they’re away from home.</p>
<p>Though many kids in my class and school use profanity, I never use it. I totally disagree with what RadinPlaid96 said about it emphasing a point becuase there are regular english words that can do that. I think profanity is just bad and should never be used especially by kids.</p>
<p>@urbanflops comment
Prehaps theres something in that Urbanflop but if I cut my hand open I’m still going to swear whether I ‘should’ or not. I know plenty of very educated people who swear on rare occasions, I think it very much depends on the situation and who you’re with. This is deviating from the OP which clearly wasnt appropriate.</p>
<p>Rad…no, my kids never swear on fb. Once when one of my son’s friends dropped the f-bomb, it was my 19 year old daughter who openly commented on fb about the inappropriateness of it and my son approached the girl and asked her to remove it. I’m not saying my kids don’t ever swear when they’re with their peers, but they do know better than to do so on social networking sites where parents, coaches, teachers, etc. might see it. They understand that it is not socially appropriate. My daughter was an elite gymnast and has little girls on her site who are her fans, so she has to be very careful about what shows up there. You never know who might see…</p>
<p>Interesting to hear different perspectives…</p>
<p>Keylyme, I agree with you about fb. We all know fb is now a tool used by potential employers, schools to judge candidates. Yesterday I received a google privacy warning that, by default, your info on fb can now be googled and read by general public.</p>
<p>So Eff away on fb and when someone googles your name, oh well… </p>
<p>Rad, many do use it every other word. The “rebellion” has turned into daily habits and they don’t even realize they’re doing it. </p>
<p>It must get stressful for kids who learn to split their personality–having to filter themselves with adults and take their filter off for their peer group. Isn’t authenticity a goal? </p>
<p>I would call it good parenting to advise that if you wouldn’t want your parents to know, you may…just may… want to rethink doing it (or saying it).</p>
<p>regarding fb-> thats why you don’t add them. I know some people do but no one really cares. and about your kids sorry but I think thats a bit much, JMO.</p>
<p>I know many do but most don’t. The ones who do are usually socially outcast or thats how they are around their friends. which in my opinion is just plain ridiculous.
and no its not very stressful. since most people in my area don’t swear every other word its fairly easy.</p>
<p>and no one really goes around blasting their doings so potential employers/school/or parents will see. that would be stupid. im not saying people don’t though,just that most aren’t that stupid</p>
<p>You do realise how if someone really wanted to and was technical they could get past the fb security, it’s hardly CIA level stuff. Nothing wrong with being a social outcast plaid :D</p>