Regretting my college choice

Colleges & Universities University of Virginia
1

I’m sorry in advance for the length of this
TLDR: I am nervous I made the wrong choice by deciding to go to Ohio State over Virginia.

I am currently enrolled at Ohio State, but pretty much since the moment I put my deposit down I have regretted it. My final 4 colleges that I had narrowed it down to were Ohio State, Virginia, Michigan and Lehigh, but in the end I was picking between Ohio State and Virginia (I think it’s worth mentioning that I live in Ohio). When I was still deciding, I thought Virginia was too southern, too Greek, too elitist, and too preppy (think wearing dresses to football games). While all of these things are true to some extent, they do not by any means characterize the whole school, which I see now. I feel like I threw away an amazing opportunity to attend my dream school all because of some preconceived notions. I don’t even know why I thought these things because while I was there I saw none of them dominate the social scene and I, a northerner, who is not preppy, and is not planning on rushing, did not feel uncomfortable or out of place. However I have seen some things on CC that are less than endearing towards UVA. Having read stories of people’s terrible times at UVA I was scared that the exact same thing would happen to me. I’ve never been the coolest/most popular/prettiest and as a result I worry far too much. Worry that I won’t find friends, be able to get into clubs (which is a whole other issue imo), that people who go Greek will be mean/exclusive, etc.

On another note, UVA is clearly the more academically rigorous school which is important but obviously not the end all be all. I am also a huge fan of the history behind the school and the fact that it is a UNESCO world heritage site. Charlottesville is cute, but in my opinion only a little better than Columbus. I wrote my essays about How I Met Your Mother and George Washington (which at the time of me writing it, i didn’t realize would sound anti Thomas Jefferson), and despite average test scores and grades (for an OOS student) I was admitted. I love that my quirky and weird essay topics got me in and helped me to stand out. Also, I am majoring in architecture. The A School at UVA is amazing but OSU’s knowlton school is really really cool also, which was kind of my prevailing reason for choosing Ohio state. I had visited Knowlton twice and UVA’s A school only once. I felt incredibly comfortable at Knowlton and while I wasn’t uncomfortable at UVA, it was just a different feeling. I also wasn’t sure how I would stack up with the other students at UVA, in terms of architecture. At OSU, no portfolio is required and they stressed multiple times how no experience was necessary and that they would even teach you how to hold a pencil properly if need be. UVA had an optional portfolio which I opted out of. I know some kids clearly did submit a portfolio and are probably incredibly strong artists and designers. I on the other hand am not the best at drawing/painting but i really enjoy 3D art and took classes like ceramics and sculpture in high school although I wasn’t the best at them. I was so worried that at UVA I would fall behind in my architecture classes and be incompetent.

At this point you’re probably thinking that I made the right choice, I felt at home at OSU. But to further complicate matters, I almost committed right after my first visit to UVA during Days on the Lawn. I had a wonderful time at DOTL and was ready to commit then and there. But for some reason I held back. I wish I had just paid my deposit on the ride home from Charlottesville. I truly saw myself spending the next 4 years there and now I have passed on an amazing opportunity. UVA went out of their way to accept me when I clearly am below average for their school. They took a chance on me as an architecture student who didn’t have a portfolio. On top of that, they gave me almost 40k in aid, named me a Blue Ridge Scholar, and offered to send me to COAR for free. They went above and beyond for me and I was foolish and turned it down.

Just a side note, one of the things that also convinced me was money. The cost for OSU vs the cost for UVA was about 12k vs 20k with 20k being the absolute maximum possible for me to spend. I already knew that my EFC was going to go up for my junior and senior years at college (and therefore cause me to pay more than 20k which I was not okay with) and I didn’t feel comfortable going into debt (even a little bit) for a school I didn’t feel 100% about. But now I wish I had just taken the leap and chosen UVA. I think that I will always regret not taking this chance. Although there is nothing that I can do about it now, i still feel a great deal of sadness and can not stop thinking that I just screwed up my entire life all because I was scared to take a chance and try something new and out of my comfort zone.

I’m not sure if I’m looking for advice or somebody to talk to, but any even slightly helpful comments would be appreciated. Is it too late for me?

2

Buyer’s remorse is more common than you’d think.

Also, there is a reason that you hesitated and didn’t commit to UVA after your visit. You weren’t sure.

Over four years, you will save at least 32K. With extra travel costs to get to VA and other cost increases over time, that figure might rise to 35-40K by the time you graduate. Plug that debt into a repayment calculator and see how much and how long it would take to pay off. That may make you feel better.

OSU is a great school with about every major you could desire. It also sounds like the architecture program may be a better place for you to start your studies, given where your skills and experience are currently. Columbus also offers entertainment and professional opportunities of all kinds.

I think you made the right choice. By the end of the first semester, you will probably wonder why you ever had any doubts.

3

My son attends Ohio State and we have had nothing but great experiences. He got involved early and can’t imagine himself being anywhere else. Ohio State is a very rigorous research university with opportunities in just about anything you want to pursue. The Greek life is present but very minimal at Ohio State. In no way is it overpowering, however if it’s what you like the opportunity is there.

I have a strong suspicion your only regret about Ohio State is the fact that you are from Ohio. If you are like my son and most of his friends they all wanted to go out of state. There is NO doubt in my mind that you will thrive at Ohio State and realize it was absolutely the right choice. Absolutely NO reason at all to go into debt when your state flagship is The Ohio State University.

Best of luck to you.

4

Ohio State is a great school, and I say this as a University of Miami Hurricane. Great choice and smart money move.

5

@mamaedefamilia thank you so much for the response! :slight_smile: I understand that money is a huge factor, and it’s unfortunate that it played such a significant role in my decision, but I feel like a degree from UVA would pay for itself. I also regret not going out of my comfort zone. I always play it safe, I always take the path of least resistance, I never take a chance. I thought that college was supposed to be a time for exploring new things and surrounding yourself with different people. I only get to go to college once and I feel like this was nothing out of the ordinary, a predictable decision. And in the least offensive/elitist/rude way possible, it makes me feel like my hard work in high school was for nothing. :frowning: I feel like I only realized how good UVA could have been for me after May 1st had already come and gone.

6

The cost difference alone (between 2 very good schools btw) is reason enough to stop worrying about it.

Better to make the right decision for the wrong reason than to make the wrong decision for good reasons.

Besides, is there anything you can do now to change it? If not then I’d let it go. Don’t let anxiety about this whole process steal your joy.

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@bhs1978 being from Ohio is part of it, if I’m being honest. I just feel like I’m letting myself down. I don’t want to say I’m settling, because OSU is a good school, don’t get me wrong, but it’s just hard for me to let go of UVA. Thank you for the kind words, even though it may not seem like it, it really is very reassuring for me to hear! :slight_smile:

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@SouthFloridaMom9 what do you mean by “the right decision for the wrong reasons?” Was that in reference to OSU? And how is UVA the wrong choice but for good reasons?

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I can’t imagine you’ll regret this in the long term.

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I personally think that it is wrong to go into a debt for a university where you have a comparable option otherwise. There are plenty of people who will justify a decision to do so; I’m just not in that camp.

So what if you’re decision for tOSU was motivated (even in a small way) by concerns about VA which may or may not have been true (fear). To me you are still on the right path no matter what the reasons were.

The UVA option might have ‘stretched’ you some as a student - getting out of your comfort zone in college life is a good thing. Yes it’s great (and an honor) to get into UVA. Hence the UVA choice would have had some logic behind it. But to choose it over tOSU? I’m just not sure that is a the way to go. But again, the debt is the issue that stops me.

$32K doesn’t sound like much these days but it is when you’re fresh out of college trying to get your adult life started.

It is very common to have ‘buyers remorse’ over big decisions like this. I don’t believe you let yourself down. There is so much good stuff that comes out of OSU. I went to another midwestern school and couldn’t stand Ohio State so I don’t say this lightly. :slight_smile:

11

OP I do empathize with you. For our son the best choice was the in state option. But if he’d gotten into Georgia Tech I would have been torn. Now we are incredibly thankful he didn’t.

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@SouthFloridaMom9 so you consider UVA “comparable” to OSU? I feel like UVA by any metric is better. If I could shake that notion that tOSU is somehow less than UVA I think I would be much better off. I just feel like I’m working myself into a frenzy over something that probably can not and should not be fixed. I can only hope that @mamaedefamilia is right and once I settle into a routine I will not be able to imagine myself anywhere else.

13

At that level, discussions about quality are mostly for the amusement of people who like to argue.

I went to Miami and am thus forbidden to say anything nice about an Ohio State U. But if my kid had made exactly the same decision I’d be pretty happy and quite confident about the prospects.

14

@jw615 Forgot to mention that back in the day, I was my HS valedictorian and I had to choose between my state U and a top 10 LAC. The state U was a lot cheaper. That’s where I went and even though it was only a half hour away from my parents’ house, it was still a new experience. My hard work in HS paid off in good preparation for college. I had a great time and I got into top graduate schools, all out of state. I finished all of my degrees with no debt.

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@jw1615 - How many miles are you from Columbus? I can see some buyers remorse if you live in Columbus already but if you do not, it will still be an amazing adventure. I went to school in CA, but I had to drive several hours to get to school and only a few of my fellow HS graduates went to that school. It was a totally new adventure for me.

16

go to UVA for grad school.

17

You are too focused on the rankings. Both schools (depending on which list of rankings you look at) are ranked in the top 20 public universities and I will go out on a limb and say that the difference between number 1 and number 20 is negligible, and neither of these two schools is one or twenty, they are somewhere in between.

My personal opinion is that if you want to live in Virginia then Virginia might give you the edge. If you want to live in Ohio (which is more likely) then Ohio State gives you the advantage. Beyond that it doesn’t really matter. It’s what you do with yourself and with your education that matters. Only you are in control of that, not the university.

After you get your first job, no one will care anymore where you got your undergrad. It’s what you do with your job, what experiences you get from that job, what kind of relationships you build with that job etc. those things have nothing to do with where you got your undergrad degree.

Think about it! If you go to Va you will be starting that first job $32,000 in the hole. Going to tOSU means you get to move forward without debt. Sorry, the rankings do nothing for me in this situation.

As @WISdad23 says, you can always go to grad school at Virginia.

Good Luck. I think you will love Ohio State!!!

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@mamaedefamilia @50N40W thank you for the kind words, I’m feeling a lot better!
@jpc763 I am from near Cleveland so not too close to cbus. Still, 20 kids from my school are going…
@WISdad23 I can only hope for as much! UVA grad school for architecture is very, very competitive. Harder than undergrad OOS. Plus, I’m not sure if this is just me, but i feel like grad school matters less than the more formative undergrad where you live, interact and integrate more within the school.

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@bhs1978 well I do want to live in Virginia or at least the DMV area… but thank you! I do get what you’re saying. I know rankings aren’t everything, but to some people, like employers, they are. My other concern that I didn’t really bring up in my initial post is that if I don’t end up wanting to go into architecture and decide to change my major, I feel like UVA would be the better call. If I go to OSU and don’t want to major in architecture anymore, where does that leave me? If I’m really only going to OSU for architecture and I switch majors, I’m out of luck.

20

In the things that matter for one’s long term satisfaction and ability to do work, there isn’t enough difference to cross the street.

If you were thinking about Olin and worried about cold feet in engineering, I’d be anxious too. But if you can’t find a happy backup at OSU, you might not find one anywhere.