twoinanddone- lighten up. I was kidding, but the smiley face I put on there didn’t show up for some reason.
It is a reality that people enjoy and expect adult beverages at a function like this. It’s certainly the right of the venue and/or the host to choose to be alcohol-free, but there will definitely be a buzz about that which would be a distraction from the main point of the event.
As I mentioned before( as a very, very, light drinker) I wouldn’t have have a problem with the lack of alcohol. However, as the OP mentioned, there will be many out of town guests. IMHO, if you expect people to travel to your wedding and you want to extend a reasonable amount of hospitality, you will provide what the average person will expect - and most people will assume that some form of adult beverage is provided at an evening rehearsal dinner. That doesn’t have to mean an open bar or hard liquor or massive $$. At a minimum - beer, carafes of wine or even just a champagne toast.
Obviously you want to take the bride and groom’s wishes into account , but you asked if it would be odd or unusual and yes, for most people it would be.
If it were me and you go with this location, I’d probably put a line like “Due to the nature of this location, no alcohol will be served.”
It’s your rehearsal dinner and you can do what you want. I think it is really interesting that people who drink rarely or not at all think it’s silly that alcohol would matter. Those who like to take a drink at events like this like to take a drink at events like this. If you and your family have no personal objection to drinking, my view is that you ought to have some type of alcohol available, even if it means having an informal dinner with a tent pitched out in a pasture.
My rehearsal dinner was a low-key affair, but we were fortunate to have a really nice art gallery that we could rent for a few hundred dollars. We had wine and beer, but no hard liquor. Everyone mingled for maybe 45 minutes, then we had a seated dinner, some toasts and introductions, and that was pretty much it. It was not a heavy drinking affair, but I think people enjoy having wine at such an event.
I will say that the word “mocktail” conjures up a mental image of some sort of ridiculous island drink. Nobody wants to drink that. By all means have some club soda, with lemons and limes, and maybe some lemonade so it can be mixed with the club soda for sparkling lemonade. But don’t call it a mocktail. It sounds like a children’s party.
By the way, here’s a Washington Post item about who drinks alcohol that might make some people’s eyes bug out:
Very interesting article. ^^^^
Wow! If I am honest- considering business or social functions (which don’t happen every week but happen frequently enough), I’m probably an average of 4-5 drinks a week. If I’m at a conference or go to a wine or beer tasting, it could be a much heavier week and if I have absolutely nothing going on, maybe it’s a 2 drink week with just a glass of wine or a beer at home.
I don’t think there is any right or wrong answer to this question. The answer you get will depend on whether that individual drinks and to what extent. Your wedding guests are not going to boycott the rehearsal dinner because it is alcohol free.
I would have no issue at all with an alcohol free bridal or baby shower. Those events are usually held during the day and I would have no expectation of alcohol being served. For me and most people I know, drinking during the day is limited to a Sunday brunch or a holiday party held on a week-end afternoon.
For a rehearsal dinner, at a minimum I would offer guests wine and enough champagne for a toast. But I know our crowd/family and we definitely enjoy a couple of cocktails/wine at social events. I would consider who is attending and what they might enjoy. I would also consult the bride and groom who rightfully should have some input. It may very well be that the majority of those attending do not drink.
To be perfectly honest though, I can’t recall attending an evening social event where some form of alcohol was not served. But just about everyone in our social circle drinks - more wine than anything else.
Personally, I rarely drink. A glass of champagne or some fruity drink maybe 6 times a year. However, my extended family drinks daily. Dinner will always include a a glass, more likely two, of wine or sometimes beer. There are always bottles of wine on the dinner table. Some family members have a cocktail as well. No one has a drinking issue that affects work or relationships.
Even though I rarely drink alcohol, I would not host an event without alcohol for my family. To me, its part of being a good hostess and, along with great food, alcohol is part of a meal especially a celebration. I think the OP has to weigh in her own family’s culture and preferences. Obviously, a lot of families wouldn’t care.
The Washington Post chart does surprise me since in our area/social circles, my family’ drinking patterns are not unusual. It would be interesting to see a similar chart for vinophile countries like Italy and France or heavy beer drinking countries like the Czech Republic, Germany, etc.
Here are some stats for per capita alcohol consumption by country, but without any stats on what % of those countries’ population does not drink at all, it appears that the US 9-10th decibel are consuming significantly more that their per capita share in comparison.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/List_of_countries_by_alcohol_consumption_per_capita
“Well, although alcohol is a depressant, most people lose a bit of inhibition, laugh easier, are more relaxed…therefore a happier time if not taken to the extreme.”
Not me. A glass of wine and I fall asleep!
" I think it is really interesting that people who drink rarely or not at all think it’s silly that alcohol would matter. Those who like to take a drink at events like this like to take a drink at events like this. If you and your family have no personal objection to drinking, my view is that you ought to have some type of alcohol available, even if it means having an informal dinner with a tent pitched out in a pasture."
I don’t have a moral objection to alcohol per se, but I don’t feel compelled to serve a lot of it necessarily, even if it what people “expect.” We served just wine at my kids’ bar / bat mitzvah; we just didn’t want to do an open bar, and it wasn’t a cost issue. My H and I have discussed what we would do at our kids’ eventual weddings - again, I can see maybe wine, but I just don’t want to spend the money on hard alcohol when it’s not something we enjoy. I’d rather have incredible desserts 
The simple fact you have to ask means your “perfect” location is not so perfect. You already know that in your circle that alcohol is part of the party. Even Jesus turned the water into wine. Beer and wine are fine–skip the hard liquor.
Side note: Our rehearsal dinner eons ago was a BBQ that got dragged inside a small house because it rained BIG time! And it was so much fun! Card tables got set up, chairs dragged out. But lots of food and camaraderie. (And yeah, the coolers of beer and soft drinks too).
Another side note: My cousin married into a “no-alcohol” Baptist family and my aunt had a fit that she couldn’t toast her only son at the wedding with champagne . I think she still holds a major grudge. Although she probably could have suffered through the rehearsal dinner. I think. Even my sister who rarely drinks ANYTHING thinks celebrations deserve something extra.
In Wisconsin, this would never be acceptable. Personally, I think it is a great idea, saves money and it is not the point of the event. But the culture of your area and peer group should decide as well as the bridal couple.
H and I drink more in the summer. We often sit out on the deck and have a glass of wine or a beer at the end of the day, It’s a nice way for us to unwind and catch up on our day. Often we will have neighbors over to join us. The rest of the year I only drink if we are out for dinner or dining at home with friends. I usually have one glass, two at the most.
When we were in DC a few weeks ago I treated myself to a whiskey sour before while we sat at the bar waiting for our table. Hadn’t had a cocktail in a long while and it was nice for a change.
“We served just wine at my kids’ bar / bat mitzvah; we just didn’t want to do an open bar, and it wasn’t a cost issue. My H and I have discussed what we would do at our kids’ eventual weddings - again, I can see maybe wine.”
I don’t think anyone has suggested that hard alcohol – as opposed to just wine and/or beer – should be provided. The question is alcohol versus no alcohol. The majority seems to believe that alcohol (e.g., wine and/or beer) contributes to a festive atmosphere and would be missed by many if it were not offered. That seems consistent with your own judgment in deciding to serve wine at your kids’ bar / bat mitzvahs, and your thoughts on what to serve at their eventual weddings, even though for you personally alcohol is superfluous (and soporific). That’s entirely consistent with the other opinions that have been offered.
Count me as one of those who think the lack of wine at a special dinner like this would be unusual unless there is a religious objection or it is part of family culture. Not that you must feel obliged to provide it (or any other particular item); but in all my years and living in different parts of the country, wine is expected as part of a dinner marking a special event. I certainly would not be “angry” to not be served wine at a dinner, but to not have wine, for me, is like not being offered dessert, or coffee and tea. Sure, some won’t miss it, but some will. Lack of wine makes some kind of statement. It’s up to you whether you think the statement is worth making. Even Jesus turned water into wine at the wedding at Cana.
I’m not a drinker. It honestly wouldn’t matter one bit to me if there was alcohol or not…because I wouldn’t want it if it was available.
I think what matters is what else there is. Good food, good desserts, maybe some entertainment. I’d rather have an awesome dessert buffet with different kinds of coffees than a bar.
Ok, I hate desserts. Rarely, if ever, eat one.
Much rather have my suger in a glass of wine :))
I am glad that when we got married people expected the rehearsal dinner just to include the wedding party and the parents!
And the officiant.
The officiant? Really? I’ve never known an officiant to be at a rehearsal dinner. For them, unless they were a family member, it would just be a chore. An unpaid chore.
I’m now forgetting which thread is which, but I think that the wedding reception that was limited to punch and cake in the church basement was predicated on the idea that both families and almost all of the guests lived in the same small area.