We have wine at Thanksgiving, just like we have wine at any other dinner where we have guests. Wine with dinner is a regular part of my culture, not every day, but certainly at a “nice” dinner. I grew up learning about wine and food pairings and for us, it is an integral part of a gracious table. It is a cultural thing for many people, including my family and I’d say many of my friends.
We offer wine at holiday meals, really anytime we entertain. I have never attended a wedding that did not have at east a beer/wine offering, if not a full bar. I think geography plays a lot into this.
My family and I are very light drinkers. We went to a relative’s wedding where most were non drinkers. My family was thrilled to see the cash bar!!! I think they sold about 10 drinks- one for each of us on our side! I have to say that I was very grateful for the glass of wine at an otherwise pretty boring reception and also surprised that the opportunity for a glass of wine at the reception made it so much more enjoyable for us. Who would have thought that it would make a difference at all? Now I know! So add me to the list of those that would favor serving alcohol of some sort at an evening party or reception.
And for the record, we serve wine with Thanksgiving dinner for those that want it. And we always serve pie for dessert!
Reason #552 for opening a bottle of wine on Thanksgiving: The gravy is so much better when the roasting pan is deglazed with wine. Since you have to open the bottle of wine to make the gravy, you might as well serve the rest at dinner. 
My paternal grandfather was raised in Italy.Wine was always served with meals at his house. When we were kids, he would pour each of us a small glass of wine. My mother would top it off with 7up. Thus we were drinking wine coolers years before Bartles and James sold them.
My family never drank until my brother got married. I blame my SIL (not bc she’s a pain but because she likes and brings good wine).
I’ve never been to a wedding where there wasn’t alcohol, but if you wanted an alcohol free event for whatever reason, I think that’s your right. I don’t think you have to warn anyone. Around here, you’d be considered a bit weird and some people would be disappointed, but that’s their problem not yours. I do think weddings have become way overblown and really applaud anyone who is trying to keep the costs down.
I think our generation tends to mostly drink wine and beer. My parents drink cocktails and hipsters drink cocktails. My kids friends (early to mid-20s) are still too poor to drink cocktails, most of their friends drink beer when they are paying, but are happy to drink wine if we serve it.
I have never eaten a Thanksgiving meal without wine. We usually had sparkling cider for the kids as something special for them.
If you are not a drinker, it’s hard to imagine an event “needing” alcohol. If you drink regularly at social occasions (didn’t say heavily!!) you can’t imagine an event without alcohol.
Neither H or I drink in general. Nothing against it, we just never developed the taste or habit. The only alcohol in my house is a bottle of wine that I use occasionally for cooking. No idea of the name/brand! The thought of having alcohol just never enters my mind - maybe it should. Also noted that we don’t do much socially. So there is that.
We have a full bar out at family holiday dinners. Pretty much what anyone could possibly want - except speciality drinks. Wine is always served with dinner but the “bar” doesn’t close.
I have never been to a wedding without alcohol either. And only once to one which had a cash bar. None of us even thought to bring money (it was a college friend’s wedding, not family.) There was a glass of champagne at everyone’s seat for the toasts,
After that I alway made sure I had some cash on me.
We did not provide alcohol at our rehearsal dinner in Chinatown. We barely thought about it. People could buy it from the restaurant if they wanted it. Not many did. If the restaurant hadn’t had a liquor license, it would have been a non-issue for us.
I definitely think this is a regional/cultural thing. I live in the Midwest and many of the wedding receptions I’ve been to do not include alcohol. Last month my daughter got married and her FIL provided the beer for the reception. Neither our family or their family drink much but the bridesmaids (from the east coast) convinced FIL to buy three beers per adult attendee. Less than a quarter of the beer was consumed and no one in FIL’s family wanted it so we brought it all home. I don’t drink beer so H is valiantly making his way through it.
haha, about the wine spritzers. It made me flash back to having Boone Farm’s Strawberry Hill on the Thanksgiving table for all the grandkids at my grandmother’s house. Must have been 45 years ago. I can’t imagine drinking that today.
I agree there are regional differences, which probably at least partially reflect the predominant religions in each region. Living in the Northeast, where Protestants and Catholics are plentiful, drinking is part of the culture for weddings and other forms of entertaining.
No wine at our Thanksgiving. Would never have occurred to me.
I agree that it varies by region/culture but I am from a part of the midwest that is heavily Catholic and drinking at weddings is very much part of the culture.
My mom grew up in the midwest in a family of eastern european immigrants. My dad grew up in a more stoic northeastern family. My dad likes to tell stories of adjusting to the weddings he would attend on my mother’s side of the family - 3 day long affairs of drinking, eating tons of great food, drinking, dancing, drinking, and more drinking. It was a 3 day bacchanalia and it sounds like the hangovers were legendary.
@FallGirl: I grew up in the “Dry Capital of the World”.
As his father/uncle tended to overimbibe, my cousin decided to have a dry wedding. (Un)fortunately, the wedding was at a large hotel, and when I wandered down the hall to the hotel bar sometime during the reception, several of my relatives were sitting there circumventing the dry wedding.
Some friends of ours who have a dry house, have been insistent on having TGiving at their house last few years with the expectation that we’d come early and stay late. I actually get tired of that much socializing but probably would be more relaxed and amenable if there was beer/wine to help it along. This year, it will be at our house and there will be beer and wine. Almost all of my social events, even book club and girlfriend get togethers, include beer/wine. Never more than 1-2 drinks over couple of hours but it’s always there.
I’ve never been to anything in the Midwest that didn’t have large amounts of alcohol. In fact, Wisconsin has been a particular issue for me in my legal career due to alcohol related issues in my clients’ workforce.
Oh we could so confuse the guests who don’t know us! If they come to a wedding down in the Bible Belt and no alcohol is served at the rehearsal dinner, folks will think we don’t drink. Then they will observe us all knocking it back at the wedding. That would give them something to talk about.
Also, I would never use the term mocktails IRL. It was just a handy term to use in the title of the post.
I didn’t start drinking at Thanksgiving until the first year H’s parents came. I buy Boujolais Nouveau now.
"If you are not a drinker, it’s hard to imagine an event “needing” alcohol. If you drink regularly at social occasions (didn’t say heavily!!) you can’t imagine an event without alcohol.
Neither H or I drink in general. Nothing against it, we just never developed the taste or habit. The only alcohol in my house is a bottle of wine that I use occasionally for cooking. No idea of the name/brand! The thought of having alcohol just never enters my mind - maybe it should."
This is exactly how I feel. It just doesn’t enter my mind to even think about it. I’ve got a couple of bottles of wine that frankly I regift when I can. I have absolutely no clue what is in most mixed drinks and I wouldn’t know how to tell a good wine from bad. On the occasion where I did serve nice wine with dinner, I consulted my dad, who has good taste and knows that kind of thing.
Neither of us had family members with an alcohol problem; both of us grew up in homes where our parents drank socially in moderation and we both grew up in homes that had fully-stocked bars. It just never had any real appeal to either of us. Each of us got drunk a few times in college and then said - oh the heck with this. In that sense, it’s good that we got each other.