<p>SB, you sure your spouse isn’t really from that family in Tuck Everlasting?</p>
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<p>Botox and Juvederm? I wouldn’t go under the knife and hate the look of the tightly pulled, but these little injections take ten years off many women.</p>
<p>Okay, I understand the whole keeping fit thing, though I don’t think it really works unless you want to do it for yourself more than because it’s yet one more responsibility to your family. But wrinkles, gray hair, glasses, frumpy clothing? They’ve never killed anybody, have they? I want it to be okay to be what I am, which is a 54 year old mother of 3 grown kids who doesn’t want to chase my best possible self with every spare minute (and dollar). Lucky for me, dh is fine with sliding into late middle age right along with me. We like a nice walk after dinner, but no triathlons for us. :)</p>
<p>spideygirl, did you just come up with that list on the spot??? If so, I bow to you. and thank you for the wake-up call. It’s funny, I’ve always noticed the old people who smell musty, but somehow never thought it would happen to me. From now on, I am going to wash my clothes more often. I’m in the habit of wearing the same thing day in day out since I work at home. No more!</p>
<p>I think one thing that should be included: when a man has a wife and young kids, he shouldn’t be doing dangerous stuff that he might have done earlier in his life when no one was depending on him. I’m thinking things like riding a motorcycle, climbing Mt. Everest, spelunking, among other things (I mention these things because I’ve known men with kids at home who have died doing these activities).</p>
<p>I know, you can be killed on the way to church driving the family sedan. Still, I think cutting out the dangerous stuff when you’ve got youngsters/wife at home should be considered much more seriously.</p>
<p>*We clearly don’t age at the same rate, and you can only do so much with fighting against mother nature. Sigh. *]</p>
<p>Well as long as your H isn’t one of those guys that wants soda pop instead of a fine wine.</p>
<p>I heard a story, of a couple who were vacationing in Calif, and as a special treat managed to get reservations at a very hot restaurant where supposedly the " in" people went.
They sat down next to a pleasant looking middle aged woman, but looked around and didn’t see any of the celebrities they expected.
A few minutes later, the woman’s husband joined her.
It was Paul Newman.
;)</p>
<p>Great story, Emerald! That reminds me of GHW Bush and Barbara. My grandmother said once how much she liked “that young Bush” but didn’t understand why he had to bring his mother with him everywhere!</p>
<p>What a wonderful story about Paul Newman and JoAnne Woodward. He was often quoted as having said something like “why fool around with hamburger when you’ve got steak at home?” or something to that effect. In addition to being a superb actress, Woodward is intelligent, politically aware, and philanthropically minded, as was her husband - theirs was a great partnership. And she shows us how very lovely an older woman who was beautiful in her youth still is without benefit of plastic surgery. That Paul Newman was a heckuva guy.</p>
<p>oh geez… after reading post #26 not sure if I should go for a run or pluck my nose hairs! Or maybe take a shower, or throw my once worn clothes into the hamper, or air out my bedroom, or go shopping for some new clothes (what are mom jeans?) ack! What to do first??</p>
<p>Losing weight is more important. It improves your appearance and your health for the long run.</p>
<p>“ack! What to do first??”</p>
<p>Pay your kids tuition bills first! You don’t want them thinking they need to be looking into nursing homes there in NC.</p>
<p>When I was a child, back in the 1960’s, Paul Newman and Joanne Woodward lived in my apartment building in Manhattan. I didn’t know too much about them back then, but I was still quite starstruck every time I saw them. They were both so good-looking.</p>
<p>Wow, Donna, who moved first? Because it would not have been me.</p>
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<p>But it’s really rough when your spouse does not physically resemble the man you married and it’s not due to an accident or wrinkles or hair line…it’s from eating mass quantities of food. No, I’m not leaving mys spouse over it, but I do think it’s kind of unfair.</p>
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I agree. It’s also unfair when their actions impose on them and you real limitations. That much weight is tough on the joints, tough on furniture and tough on mobility. There are also more, shall we say, intimate issues when one spouse outweighs the other by 150 pounds.</p>
<p>Wow Spideygirl- what an amazing list. Very well thought out. You really nailed many essential points perfectly. Some of those points I’m already trying to NOT do and others to do. Thanks for the laugh.</p>
<p>I want to speak up in defense for those who become overweight without thinking about it because their sPouse is sending signals that they prefer them that way.
I was blessed/cursed with a curVacous body,which got lots of attention. However I wasn’t a pole dancer or stripper and I was trying togO back to school so I could find work that did not drive me bats when my oldest was about three.
Everytime I went to school (it was at night) my H would start a fight. He was very insecure and jealous and I felt like it was my fault. I started unconciously to make myself less attractive. I gained weight I started wearing dowdy clothes and I cut off my hair.
He stopped picking fights with me before I went anywhere (although he basically ignored me altogether for a long time),but the way I looked was tHe way I felt inside and it took lots of time and therapy before I said "the H<em>Ll with this S</em>IT " and started taking care of myself.
I look better at 52 than I did at 35, and amazingly I am still married to the same guy. But we got through a lot of changes and I think our outsides are just subtle indicators of what is inside.</p>
<p>Paul Newman. :D</p>
<p>Excuse me, while I swoon. </p>
<p>And I don’t swoon over Hollywood celebrities, lightly. Especially ones that could be my dad.</p>
<p>I’ve read over these posts and I’ve thought about them, and it’s all about looks (except maybe for Spidey’s remarks about keeping the brain going). When my husband developed non-Hodgkin’s lymphoma ten years ago (yes, he’s in remission), one of my first thoughts (after complete and total panic) was that I needed to get back in shape so that I could help him physically when he needed me. </p>
<p>Health is a very nice thing, and I think you have a responsibility to YOURSELF to maintain your health, but I don’t think anyone needs to look a certain way just to please a spouse. Part of a good marriage is understanding that people change, and then working with that change. </p>
<p>Oh, and the “mom jeans” remarks? What’s that about? Just more random fashionista stuff?</p>
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<p>I don’t know where you come up with that. Many of these posts have alluded to many reasons to stay fit other than looks.</p>
<p>Personally, exercise has literally saved my sanity at various times of my life. In addition to the many benefits already mentioned, exercise and eating right help to equip me to better deal with stress. </p>
<p>Being strong and healthy doesn’t change the fact that life is full of problems and challenges, but it helps you cope so much better.</p>