Before my own, I had never diapered a baby in my life (no younger siblings and I barely got to hold my nephew/nieces as babies). 25 years ago my husband and I left the hospital with our newborn and couldn’t figure out how to properly strap in her car seat. We drove out of the hospital parking lot and into the parking lot next door and adjusted it.
We decided to do it on our own. My husband took off 2 weeks and we cared for her by ourselves during that time - not even a single visitor. It worked out and was the right thing for us. Everybody is different as is every family and you need to do what is right for you.
The funny thing is, my daughter is still the only baby my husband and I have ever diapered or cared for. Guess that might change if/when we have a grandchild.
However, I would suggest knowing more about properly strapping in your car seat before you have your newborn in it!
Great stories and nice to hear your updates Romani. I’m sad to hear they don’t do birthing classes these days. I met some nice women. But, the classes were totally useless, apart from feeling that I wasn’t alone, in retrospect…
I wish I’d had my mom or some family nearby to help me with my second newborn. What a nightmare, because hubby had to go on a business trip when number 2 was less than a week old. Not fun looking after a toddler and newborn on my own. But with our first, I’m glad it was just me and hubby. I couldn’t have handled anyone coming over, no matter how helpful they were.
Funny story about babies walking. D walked at 11 months. At the time, I shared a nanny with another mom whose D was the same age. The two girls were best buddies. As D walked first, she simply did anything the other baby wanted. I’ll call her Emmy. Emmy didn’t walk at all until she was a few weeks shy of 2. There was no need to, because Emmy simply got my D to do everything. Emmy’s mom was very worried but the doctor told her Emmy would walk when she was ready. And the doc was right. It was pretty comical to watch my D running around at Emmy’s beck and call. Those two loved each other and remained great friends until they were about ten, long after we had moved across the ocean. We still have some of Emmy’s Playmobil that ended up in our stuff. Reminds me of fun times whenever I see it.
It took me months to find a preggo group that wasn’t full of anti-vaxxers. I have no interest in listening to anyone other than myself and my doctors when it comes to health.
Having vs not having help is going to be a balancing game for us. Even if labor and delivery go perfectly, because of my pre-existing health issues, recovery is going to be harder on me than the average bear. I’m still immune suppressed, I’m not on pain killers, sleeping is already hard, etc.
Mr R can only afford to take off up to 2 weeks because even though I get paid leave, I don’t get the hourly pay that I’d normally get if I was working so it’s like I’m down to 2/3 of my salary. And he doesn’t get paid leave. So that’s it for his leave - 2 weeks. If we’re lucky AND that includes any time I’m in the hospital.
Mr R works with kids - some of which have anti-vax parents - so I’m not entirely sure that having my niblings at the house is going to be any more dangerous than Mr R working. He’s trying to transition to working entirely online teaching English but so far it’s been hard to get a client base. (It’s through a company that our SIL works for too and has for years.)
In other news, we put up the paint samples in the baby room yesterday and I am once again reminded that I am NOT an artist. They all looked pretty much the same to me but two of my art friends said they all look really different. shrug
Since your husband only gets two weeks, if you find that you’re in the hospital for more than just a quickie delivery, consider having him work during the days that you’re in the hospital. His time off will be much more valuable when you’re all home together.
Wow, I would have loved it if DH had gotten two weeks. He got less than six hours, literally. Son was born at 12:10 am and DH had to be on the jobsite supervising a concrete placement at 6:00 am (and it was my birthday!!). He brought blueprints to the hospital and had them spread out all over the hospital room. The nurses got a kick out of that.
After a week of nearly having a nervous breakdown over money, I have summer funding secured AND my maternity leave paperwork is turned in. Did I mention it’s starting to feel too real?
We’re guaranteed 8 weeks paid funding as long as we had an otherwise paid position in the semester (Fellowship, teaching, research, etc). I’m due on April 20 and my semester funding ends at the end of April. Somehow it escaped my notice that I’m out of summer funding despite having at least 3 years of fall/winter (school year) funding left. Normally, that would be fine since I could get a fellowship or other position for the summer but nearly every position I looked at stated we shouldn’t apply if we wouldn’t be available for the full time - which is fair. So I was about to be left without funding.
I ended up successfully converting a school-year fellowship semester into a spring/summer one since I don’t plan on having 3+ more years of school. So by doing that not only do I have funding secured, but I have my full semester funding (not the considerably reduced summer rate) and I don’t have to supplement my funding with other positions if I don’t want to.
I was so happy, I started crying. We have savings but living on just Mr R’s salary would be damn near impossible for the entire summer.
Anyway just wanted to share some good news.
Oh! We’ve also started painting the baby’s room. And by we I mean my wonderfully talented, artistic friends who are doing this as their gift to us. It’s space themed so they’re planning on painting galaxies on the ceiling. I don’t quite understand it but I don’t have an artistic bone in my body, I’m leaving it entirely to them.
Every time I see a post in this thread I hold my breath until I find out that it is good news. Great news on the funding!! We all keep sending positive thoughts and prayers.
@Nrdsb4 & @shellfell I really, truly do. I’m so lucky and grateful. Especially with a colorblind partner. He has been no help in this area lol.
@silverlady I think we’re out of the woods and everything is going well.
@mom60 thank you for that! My bed actually goes into a zero gravity position and we just bought a recliner/rocker chair (I wanted that instead of the typical nursery rocker) that also does. It helps quite a bit.
I woke up in the middle of the night to go to the bathroom and could barely get out of bed I was in so much pain. I bought a baby belly band before I went back to sleep. Should be here in a few days so we’ll see how that goes. Fingers crossed…
Started physical therapy today. PT doesn’t think it’s SPD but rather the hip muscles (still brought on by the pregnancy). She and my docs want me going to PT twice a week for the remainder of the pregnancy - yikes.
Only one week left of weekly ultrasounds. The last one gave us readings all over the map but since I’ve been completely fine the whole time, they think it might be an anomaly. We’ll see next week. Did the glucose test today (waiting on results).
Still chugging along. Started getting baby shower presents (from people who won’t be attending) and I’ve so far cried opening every package because 1- people are getting us stuff and 2- holy smokes I’m going to have a kid. (Also my hormones are wayyyy out of whack)
Kid is kicking me so hard near the ribs that my ribs jump out. So that’s annoying. But other than that, still going well.
Do not worry about your H teaching unvaccinated kids- if he has immunity (through disease or vaccination) he won’t get any diseases they may have. To be ultra careful he can be sure to wash his hands et al.
Oh- don’t expect your future kid to appreciate all you are going through. It IS worth it, but all parents will have days they certainly question the wisdom of having kids. And it shouldn’t matter to your child how much trouble you had. Yes, your child will have different experiences than those with a completely healthy mother but neither is better. No points for “character building” through adversity either.
Hang in there. There is a definite endpoint to all of the pregancy woes- later than sooner we hope (mother of a premie here).
I can relate to the rib kicking. It does get very painful and DS2 actually held his foot at an odd angle for a few months because he had it stuck in my ribs (his pediatrician was watching it to make sure it corrected).
I hope the PT helps - the hips go through a lot of changes and while they may be necessary they don’t feel good.
I have no intention of ever making my kid feel guilty or responsible for what I’m going through. They didn’t choose to come into this world. The whole “I labored with you for 40 hours, so do what I say!” guilt trip never really made sense to me.
We’re all up to date on our shots. Everyone got a tdap when my nephew was born a little over a year ago and we always get the flu shot. Mr R even went and got his without me bugging him for the first time ever! I’ll be getting mine either next appointment or the one after that.
A LOT of moms in my (online) preggo group are getting the flu - confirmed flu - and almost none of them (those who got sick) had gotten their vaccines. It makes me want to pull my hair out. Even if it didn’t prevent you from getting a different strain, it’ll still protect you and the baby. If you don’t get it for you, at least get it for your defenseless fetus!
I’ve had a pregnancy body pillow since late in the first trimester. It really does make a huge difference.
I passed my glucose test! No diabetes! I am however, anemic again. This is no surprise and I’m surprised it took so long. Back to venofer infusions and hopefully it’ll help me feel more human.
