<p>Sort of like Dorm Problem, but …</p>
<p>My D’s RM is a nice girl - but for two weekends now, she gets up at 5 to study/read. Apparently the kids can’t leave the room to the lounge at that time. So, my D (who picked school partly because of no Sat classes to sleep in) get woken at 5 on Sat and Sun.</p>
<p>Any thougths?</p>
<p>sleeping mask and ear plugs</p>
<p>This is one of those situations that your daughter and her roommate will have to work out. Your daughter could speak with her dorm master for suggestions on how to resolve the situation. </p>
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<p>talk to the roommate, just tell them you’d (as the daughter) prefer not to be woken up. she doens’t have to stop reading or anything, just get a softer alarm clock.
you could have it so that it’s a phone vibration alarm (not on the bed or anything soft or else it won’t ring, or you could hold it and usually wake up. that’s how I wake up in mornings) or something that makes a noise, but not necessarily a loud one.</p>
<p>i suggest iPod. listen to it at night, keep it on a timer, fall asleep, and when the alarm goes off, it’ll block something out XD</p>
<p>Sounds like roommate is going to have to learn some social skills and Princess is going to have to do the instructing…</p>
<p>I’m sorry, but getting up at 5 AM on a Sunday to read is not a normal activity for a teenager and even then, waking your roomate up expecting her to be bright and cheery is clearly not normal, so your Princess is going to have to teach that to her.</p>
<p>And I guess Princess is a light sleeper, too. </p>
<p>I guess goaliegirl is a heavier sleeper, as her ex-roommate (not ex by choice, but circumstance, they are great friends) had the sleeping habits of da vinci. Girl would sleep during study hours and wake up at random times in the night to study. Used desk lamp, stayed quiet, etc. Didn’t bother goaliegirl, though and roommate got great grades.</p>
<p>I second goaliedad, 5 am on a weekend is unreasonable. If RM is nice, as you mentioned, I have to believe they can work it out. As uncomfortable as it may be for Princess to bring it up, she is not being inconsiderate to try and work out a solution.</p>
<p>I know 2 different families at different schools whose d’s faced the same issue last year. In both cases, it was extremely stressfull and basically was credited with ruining that year for each of the affected girls. (I assume there were probably other issues as well, but this is what we were told.) Of course your d should try and work something out with roommate and the posted suggestions seem pretty useful; however, if they can’t resolve it soon, I think you have to consider involving the school administration. This is too serious to let slide for too long.</p>
<p>Princess’Dad -</p>
<p>I would have your daughter double check about the lounge thing at 5 am. It’s hard for me to believe that students need to be in their room only early in the morning - the dorm I can see but not restricted to the room.</p>
<p>Also, I would advise your daughter to handle it herself first and as soon as possible. Allowing things to fester only makes it worse. Like saddad, I know of instances where these things got blown out of proportion - usually because the child who thought they were being “wronged” didn’t advocate for themselves and address it from the start. Instead, they would just suffer or just complain to their friends but not to their roommate. Then, months later, things blow up and it’s much, much harder to deal with. She should speak to her roommate first and see if they can work it out together before she - or you - gets the administration involved. This is part of the whole learning experience of boarding school. Perhaps, you can help her by giving guidance on what she should say or role playing but get her to speak up in a diplomatic way as soon as possible.</p>
<p>Personally, I’ve had a roommate who was extremely studious and stayed up very late or got up very early and it didn’t bother me. She tried to make minimal noise, had her desk away from my bed and only used a desk lamp. Perhaps I am a heavy sleeper, but having a roommate who’s going to have the same go to bed/ wakeup times as you is unlikely.</p>
<p>The two need to come to an agreement - or a room mate contract - on what times are acceptable. Is there an RA who can help? Goaliedad is right - 5:00AM on a weekend is unreasonable. 5:00AM for a major test on a Tuesday maybe, but then that should be out in the hall or in the closet, if it is big enough. And, an alarm at that time that wakes your room mate is bad. Set the cell phone alarm on vibrate, if you need to get up that early. Sounds like the room mate doesn’t realize how to share a room!</p>
<p>Well, Princess Dad, is seems my daughter has a similar situation. I have contacted her advisor to find out where she should some advice. She doesn’t want to complain to anyone and she doesn’t want to gossip about her, so she doesn’t know who to talk to. </p>
<p>How is Princess dealing with it??</p>
<p>Ahh, Grejuni, I’m sorry the room mate situation is not working out. My daughter in her freshman year had a terrible conflict with her room mate. The first place to start, I think, is with the RA and/or the house parent. They know how to work these things. My daughter ended up with a concrete room mate contract - governedwhen lights could go on, when they had to be off, etc. At the time I thought it was horrible but the housing dean told me it would work - and it did. She was never friends with her room mate but at least open war fare was avoided.</p>
<p>grejuni,
about the same as yours. I was told not to talk to advisor, so will wait. One of the problems is that the girl is very much a protected kid (mom comes to visit every weekend and they talk all of the 30 min alloted (if I don’t call exactly at 10, the phone is busy)).</p>
<p>I will give her a couple of weeks, unless it escalates. Parent weekend end of month.</p>
<p>apparently not only problem with rm</p>
<p>princess’dad - has your daughter sat her roommate down and talked to her one on one about the early weekend hours and the phone thing yet? Has she made her concerns clear?</p>
<p>Yes, community oriented must apply to parents as well as students. Princess has quite a mission ahead of her with both rm and mom to socialize to the sharing of scarce resources (sleep - rm and phone - both).</p>
<p>Hopefully the misallocation of 30 min alloted talk time usage is only a temporary thing while mother and daughter deal with the separation anxiety (both ways) that seems to blind them to the public good.</p>
<p>If nothing else, Princess will have her patience tested. So far, given the lack of a criminal conviction for murder, she is passing. LOL</p>
<p>goaliedad,
you laugh. there was a situation in my dorm in college where a guy woke up with rm holding a knife to his throat. Guy got a single room and (rm got a padded one)</p>
<p>My husband likes to tell the story of a guy he knew in BS who saved his toe nail clippings all year to put in his roommate’s bed. EW! Maybe only a guy would think that’s funny and still be friends.</p>
<p>Princess’Dad,</p>
<p>Didn’t mean to bring up a bad memory. Meant as a compliment to Princess’ ability to tolerate an irritating “family issue”. </p>
<p>Actually, goaliegirl tells me that her new roomate (from Germany) will only be staying until March and then returning home (didn’t get the why), so she will have a single in the spring, which surprisingly enough has goaliegirl kinda bumming. She really enjoyed her roommate of the past 2 years, but ex-roommmate is now a proctor in the frosh dorm, so she can’t even have her move back in the spring. Ex-roommate also is not fond of living in a single as a proctor either.</p>
<p>I’ll pass along your story sometime to let goaliegirl know that she needs to be careful what she wishes for, as some roommates are, well, not worth it at least up front. Let’s hope this girl (and her m) grow from this and we can all move forward.</p>
<p>My freshman year college roommate was a self-proclaimed Witch. She had numerour liquids, tinctures, or whatever and tons of books on the subject. We had absolutely nothing in common and very little contact. I was too pre-occupied with my new college life in NYC and she was consumed with her potions. She left school after 1 semester and I lived to post about it.</p>
<p>Get “skullcandy Smokin’” Buds ear phones. They’re cheap, cancel out noise and hook up to an mp3 player. If your daughter has an ipod chances are it has an alarm. Set the alarm and the music will wake her up and her roommate will not.</p>
<p>So my D will take it up with the dorm parents. It all seems like typical enough stuff. My D thinks that any kind of confrontation is a bad thing, so this is really a good opportunity to have something good come out of a difficult situation. In middle school she never wanted me to contact a teacher because she didn’t want to be pushy. I admit, confrontation is hard for me too - and I am not trying to share a room with a stranger. It’s very complicated.</p>