<p>Am I in the twightlight zone??? For starters, DO NOT, Skype with those little girls, yes, thats how they are acting. Why in the hX$$ does your daughter have to clear it with them? Now I can see them saying, “hey let us know the next time your mom is going to be here”, but it sounds as if they wanted your daughter to get their permission. You need to stop feeling bad IMMEDIATELY, its not like she left you unattended for hours in the apartment. Furthermore, if your daughter is like most, YOU are actually paying her portion of the rent, so they need to back off. I wish one of my kids roommates demanded to SKYPE me, it would be the last skype. Sounds like something funky is going in there, I would get my kid out asap. Also, someone suggested sending them a note, DO NOT send them a note!</p>
<p>My opinion they are bullying your daughter unless she gets the right to veto and Skype any of their guests. I hope I’m wrong but they don’t seem too concerned about her feelings. I wouldn’t Skype with them but it would be interesting if their parents would be available for a group call so they can hear how ridiculous their girls are being. I would seriously question if they are friends to your daughter. So I’m assuming none of their families are coming over!!</p>
<p>The OP’s daughter needs some new friends. Her mention of 3 against 1 is a big hint that she’s not considered an equal among the roommates. Suggest to her that she may want to start setting up new roommate/housing plans for next year.</p>
<p>I could understand 1 of those roommates maybe an idiot and raised in a barn, but all three? There maybe something else going on here. This story is hard for me to believe.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Socializing mostly/exclusively with people of the same age is a bit too limiting and somewhat alien to my experience growing up. </p>
<p>My parents/extended relatives encouraged me to learn how to interact with people of all ages. A good thing as despite being young for my grade, I tended to relate better with older more mature students 2-6+ years older intellectually and yet, can match the relaxed fun social immaturity among close younger friends. </p>
<p>This also would have been alien to most neighborhood kids as community activities and afterschool/summer jobs from late elementary onward required constant interacting with folks both older and younger than oneself. </p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Not necessarily. The 3 may have known each other for a long period. Possibly from the same high school/area. They may also possibly be living examples of “birds of a feather flock together”…</p>
<p>“I could understand 1 of those roommates maybe an idiot and raised in a barn, but all three? There maybe something else going on here. This story is hard for me to believe.” </p>
<p>I agree. Your daughter should not feel boxed in by her roommates. If she wants you or anyone else to come over for an afternoon that shouldn’t be a problem. They don’t have to like it. I always hated roommate guests. I’m not even a fan of my kids guests. But, it happens. And anyone who lives with other people realizes that. This is weird and if it was my kid I would want to know more about day-to-day life in that apartment and I hope my next visit would involve helping her move out.</p>
<p>How does your daughter want to handle it? You (and she?) ignore it, do the Skype (takes her right out of the middle of her RMs and you which may be appealing to her), tell off the RMs…I’d be very interested to know what SHE thinks she, and possibly you, should do, or if she is asking you how to handle it?</p>
<p>This is so strange to me. I am on third child in college - my boys roommates were all wonderful on our brief visits. My daughter has had some quirky roommates, but I do not think I would get this kind of response if I were to stop by for the afternoon. In fact, just scheduled a trip to see girl for weekend and H may not be able to come - she said you can stay in my room if you want. </p>
<p>The parents of her housemmates have always been gracious about taking girls to store, or Ikea or Target - or ask if they need anything. When I am in town, I would do the same. Feed them, mostly! </p>
<p>Something more to this story. Maybe Regina George lives there. ;)</p>
<p>Have never had any issues of this nature with my kids when they were in college. We and the other parents always offered to drive our kid and any room mates and/or friends anywhere when we were in town. We have “hung out” for many hours at S’s apartment and some hours at D’s as well. </p>
<p>Agree that it makes sense to see what your D wants and what she prefers since she will be living in the apartment with these girls for the rest of the academic year. Good luck–for your D’s sake, I’m hoping it’s just a misunderstanding and perhaps over-reaction that will subside in short order.</p>
<p>I would be flabbergasted at that response, OP.
My youngest just moved into her 2nd house.
She got along with her roommates fine in her first house, and I think she misses it, but although her room was the biggest in the house with a window seat & lots of light, it was also noisier than when she first moved in two years ago.
Her roommates were also very friendly, and when I would visit, I would come in and wait for her if she wasn’t home.( that only happened a few times)
Roommates, in my experience are pretty happy to see parents. Parents plant daffodil bulbs, can give good advice & buy pizza for everyone. 
Although she has only lived there a couple months & is already planning to move out in the spring, her current roommates have been just as welcoming as at her previous house.</p>
<p>Being upset because your daughter had an adult guest(& her mom) , seems pretty extreme and exaggerated behavior, more in tune with a reality show where participants are encouraged to overreact, than how mature adults behave.
I agree that they are bullying.
</p>
<p>Wouldn’t really do it, but I’m imagining a list of things I might show them when i turned the webcam on…what makes them think you have a webcam?</p>
<p>“OP, I’m interested in whether you’ve heard anything more about the incident, either from your D or the roommates.”</p>
<p>"They just wondered when I was coming back. I have no plans to go visit until the spring. "</p>
<p>Are you saying this issue died down? No one brought up Skype again? Is it possible there was some misunderstanding in the way your D originally related this to you?</p>
<p>I am not sure if my kids would tell me if this had happened with their roommates for fear of hurting my feelings or having me think badly of her roommates.</p>
<p>I can’t help but wonder if there is more to the story. Most college students have the graciousness to be able to interact pleasantly and socialize with a roommate’s parents. I agree with Poetgrl, it’s very bad form not be able to, or treat them like outcasts.</p>
<p>Very bizarre. My freshman year I lived in a one-room quad (so far less personal space than the situation described). It would never have occurred to me to object to another person being in the room with a roommate in the middle of the afternoon. </p>
<p>In an apartment situation it makes even less sense.</p>
<p>I know this seems odd to all of us that have normal social graces, but there are people out there who would do this. I have a friend with a daughter who could have told this story and it would be just another odd thing on the roommate situation list. </p>
<p>There are some odd people out there and it is scarey when we come face to face with them! Sorry for OP having to deal with this. It would make me worried about the daily living environment my DD was in.</p>
<p>If I wasn’t worried that it would just make things worse for my DD I would be all over that skype opportunity :-)</p>
<p>Well, the first thing that comes to my mind is what are the roommates hiding that they fear someone’s unsupervised mom finding? Your D needs new roommates.</p>
<p>
</p>
<p>Agree. This is one of the strangest situations I’ve ever heard of on CC.</p>
<p>If they are hiding something, clearly the OP’s daughter doesn’t know what it is–or she too would have found a way to keep her mom from hanging out in the apartment.</p>
<p>I would be curious to have them Skype me. I would like that. You can tell a lot more when talking to someone vs just hearing it through your daughter. There may be more going on than this. Perhaps they want to apologize for how messy the place was, and express their embarrassment. I think if you talked to them, without feeling any remorse or shame about being there (because those feeling are dead wrong, if you agree with most of the posts on here), but just with a casual interest of what they’d like to talk to you about. If they’d like to Skype you, no problem, we’ll be interested to hear what they say.</p>
<p>You would probably be able to determine if there is something cruel, controlling, or odd going on. If they said they don’t want you to come over again (and I doubt they could be that rude on Skype, face to face), you could ask if any of their parents visit. Or just clarify the “rules”, ie, no parents, no friends, what is it? You may not be getting the full picture from your daughter, and it may be something else entirely different.</p>