<p>“Agree. This is one of the strangest situations I’ve ever heard of on CC.”</p>
<p>In these particularly odd situations, I tend to question whether the story is accurate, or if the poster has very few posts…for real.</p>
<p>I can tell you that this story is not a figment of my imagination and is as accurate as my memory serves. It is a very troubling situation that is why I reached out. My deepest apologies for not being a regular poster. I will see if I can remove the thread.</p>
<p>On CC you just never get everyone in agreement. When everyone agrees it’s strange? It’s strange!</p>
<p>" It is a very troubling situation that is why I reached out. My deepest apologies for not being a regular poster. I will see if I can remove the thread."</p>
<p>Why would that be your reaction to people wondering if this is real, or if you understood the situation correctly? That is odd. Either you are joking, or you definitely lack self confidence. Why would you offer deepest apologies for not being a regular poster? You would not have anything to apologize for. Many people lurk for years until they finally post. You have just as much right to be on here as anybody else.</p>
<p>It’s strange to me because apparently it’s 3 against 1, and your D is the one. Why is that? Are the other 3 girls friends and she was plopped in there? Do they have other visitors? Is this a no parents rule that she was unaware of? Is it just her parents? Are there any other crazy rules she has to follow? I agree it’s troubling but you need more information. There is something else going on here and your daughter may not even realize it but there is more to this.</p>
<p>A reaction to “or if the poster has very few posts…for real.”</p>
<p>Freqflyr, </p>
<p>It is a weird situation - you are not being called out because of it - it is simply out of norm for most people with a modicum of social graces to be this put off by your visit. Especially the short duration of it! </p>
<p>If my kids’ roommates treated me the way these kids treated you, or via your child, then imagine how they might be treating your girl? This goes beyond discomfort of a stranger in the home that they were not counting on. You are a parent, not some guy a housemate brought back from a bar. You are likely aso subsidizing her living there. Does she like these girls? </p>
<p>Some people are weird. Others have no manners. </p>
<p>It is possible they were worried about illegal alcohol or drug use being discovered, but really, come on.</p>
<p>Ah, well, I was saying that as a generality. Your posting history isn’t that suspicious, because though you haven’t posted frequently, you’ve been a member for a few years. Some people start at post one, day one, with a very unusual story. If you’ve been lurking around here for years, I’m sure you know what I mean. The thread can go on forever until people realize the story was never true.</p>
<p>So I’m glad that you are relaying a real story (although an unhappy one), but I think you need more details. This just sounds like there’s more going on. Good luck.</p>
<p>I am just antagonistic to go again, and often, each time waiting to confront these young ladies of ill will. And be sweet as pie. Maybe even bearing a small trinket for each. Definitely food and possibly something else to brighten their day, daring them to be rude little mean girls. </p>
<p>Then see what the real story is. </p>
<p>Like oldfort says, if that happened to my D, she probably wouldn’t have mentioned it, knowing it would hurt my feelings. But, my daughter would also know I would confront the situation in a way like I described above. </p>
<p>And - my daughter would not have put up with that BS about being scolded about my visit. Then again, she is my D. </p>
<p>If cupcakes don’t work, bring on the big artillery.</p>
<p>Just some more background info: The other girls parents rarely if ever come visit even though most live relatively close. Yes- it is most likely that parent visiting rules have never been discussed because of that. I agree there is more driving this but I do not have a clue right now. I have discussed that aspect with my daughter and told her there are more “Rules” to come. It IS very bizarre- especially that they would want to skype to tell me whatever. No argument there. My daughter is a junior and has known 2 of the girls since freshman year.</p>
<p>Hope this will not offend, but could it possibly be that your D does not want the unannounced visits and this is her “round about” way of communicating that? I agree with another poster, you should accept the Skype offer and get to the bottom of the situation.</p>
<p>Was this an unannounced visit? Did you just show up at the door and ring the bell or knock? Or did you call in advance to see if you could meet your daughter? </p>
<p>I’m not condoning rude behavior, but I’m not a big fan of unannounced visitors at my house!</p>
<p>I’m not a fan of drop in guests either, but it is a reality of living with roommates.</p>
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<p>I was very surprised to read this. I’d assumed the whole time that the daughter was a freshman with an especially weak will. Now I suspect she’s not telling the whole story, and that, as others have suggested, she’s using the roommates as a way to disguise her own feelings. It’s something to consider, anyway.</p>
<p>It was not a surprise visit at all-my daughter knew I was coming, it was planned for weeks-I text her when I landed and when I was heading over to her place. Her roommates did know I would be showing up eventually but were not informed of the exact time at the door. I did not plan on staying as long as I did, my ride was in a meeting that took longer than expected. The one girl was blow drying her hair, the other two showed up after I did. It didn’t seem like a big deal and I did not get a weird vibe that said “YOU NEED TO LEAVE”</p>
<p>Sad that these girls do not have the social graces to be accepting of your presence. </p>
<p>Makes you wonder, what is their family background? Is there hostility in the relationship with their parents? Do they not realize we are all in this life together? Might they be ashamed of something? </p>
<p>You do not need to feel badly about doing what most of the parents on his board would do in the same situation. You D sounds fine. I also wonder what part of the county your D lives in. There are micro differences in culture that can take one by surprise.</p>
<p>freqflyr, do you remember your daughter being controlled by her friends in high school? Or maybe she doesn’t make friends easily and might have settled for these?</p>
<p>I would say she would not be the leader of the pack but she does stand up for herself.</p>
<p>Well, is she standing up for herself in this situation because if my daughter’s roommates told her I couldn’t visit the apartment (which is unimaginable, actually) I’m fairly certain she would say something like, “What the heck? Are you kidding? Well, she won’t be back for months so, whatever.” And that would be that. The Skype thing is just bizarre and I am curious about what they want to say to you, exactly.</p>
<p>How long ago did this happen? Sometimes in the heat of a moment things are said…and then the situation just blows over. Are these other girls excluding your daughter from things because of this incident…or is it over and done?</p>