I’m thinking of driving over to VT to pick up the teacups, then driving from there down to CT to visit my mother. While I’m there, I can drive into NYC and give her the teacups.
I am planning to drive down to visit my mother anyway.
Am I nuts? 
My son’s g/f has been with him 5 years. She’s met all my friends and close family. He spends most holidays with her family. They’ve planned their lives together. If they broke up, I can’t picture the pain. The loss wouldn’t be mine so much, but theirs.
I wouldn’t give her the teacups. It is a gesture that is too easily misinterpreted. I’m not sure she would welcome a gift or visit from you at this point. She might not even keep them, since they will serve as a reminder of him. I can’t quite put my finger on the problem but it feels meddlesome to me. And although you liked her a lot, it doesn’t sound like you had spent all that much time together. I don’t know; it just feels off to me.
^^^ I agree.
D2 went out with someone this summer who was a great photographer. He took a lot of pictures of D2. He had said he would send me those pictures at some point. After they broke up I was very tempted to contact him directly to ask him if I could have those pictures, but I decided it wasn’t worth it to upset D2. Every time she looked at those pictures it would have reminded her of him and she probably would be upset if I were to have any contact with him.
Consolation–SKIP the teacups. Truly. I know of what I speak. You don’t want it to come back and haunt you or your son. It’s only teacups. Keep or donate.
Consolation–SKIP the teacups. I know of what I speak. I know you took time and trouble picking out a special gift but that time passed. Do your son (and you) a favor and forget it. Keep them or donate them but don’t gift them.
Consolation–Skip the teacups. Please. It’s not worth the angst that it will cause.
Thanks. I need the reality check.
Although I don’t know that I will be fully convinced unless another china maven like @bevhills weighs in.
Agree. Tell your S your reconsidered and he should just either the teacups home or donate them (whatever you prefer). First and foremost you need to support your son and I’m sure the break-up is difficult for him even if he initiated it. Giving a gift to his ex sends a bad message to him and he needs to know that his happiness is your concern in this relationship. Second, you don’t want to confuse or hurt the former GF – she doesn’t need to look at teacups.from her ex-BF’s mother at this point. As hard as it is, once your S has made the break, you need to as well.
Consolation, +1 on the not giving the girl the teacups. I know your heart hurts, and you mean well, but it will be an awkward gesture, too easily misinterpreted. If having the cups around your own house is not going to cause you pain, keep them, but do not display them in the presence of your son. Hugs.
Fine, fine @Consolation … Just give me the teacups.
This is the pattern:
I think the pattern is beautiful, very feminine. Can you sell them back?
@Consolation, my D broke up with her boyfriend the day before they were to fly to our house for Christmas.
Oh boy, it was strange. Everyone bought him Christmas presents and we had no idea what to do with them. The boyfriend was heartbroken. He sent my H and I Christmas presents with a note to me how much he missed seeing us.
Since he had sent us presents, my H was insistent that I ship his presents to him. My D and her boyfriend were talking but not really back together and that was why I shipped his presents to him. If they were not talking, I would not as presents from us would have been too painful. He was really broken-hearted.
His parents did not get my D anything. Even though I think she had given them something before they broke up.
I like those cups, but fine china says “wedding” to me. Not sure I would have given them to a kid’s SO for Christmas even if they hadn’t broken up.
Okay, I am convinced. I will not give her the teacups. Sigh.
Is this the relationship where the GF gave your S the expensive laptop for a Christmas gift? Or am I thinking of another thread and poster?
There, there, consolation…I feel your pain. Two years ago, the long-time gf got a Christmas ornament for our tree, with her name. She abruptly (ok, it felt abrupt to us) broke up with S after revealing she had started seeing someone else over the summer she was working at a camp in another state. Never gave her the ornament. We were so sad. DH is still angry she was so dishonest. He took the ornament out of the storage box, into the back yard, and stomped it into tiny tiny pieces! (S was not home, and never knew)
@HarvestMoon1, yes. But it was a birthday present. He felt he could not accept it and left it with her.