I’m sure that my first boyfriend’s mom was sad when our relationship ended. She had been a big proponent of the relationship and sometimes I wasn’t sure who liked me more, the guy or his mom. She tried to convince me to go to the college near where they lived (one of my state schools) even though it didn’t have my major or any good scholarships for me, obviously just so I could be near him. Don’t get me wrong, I liked his mom, but she was a little much at times.
While dealing with kid’s breakup , I have found myself wishing our daughter would form a romantic relationship with one of her male friends…but it really doesn’t work out that way now, does it ?
This could be one of the good ideas.
This reminds me that after DS had broke up with his ex-GF, she once asked if she could stay and live in his dorm room for 2 weeks just because she had to move out from her old dorm room before her off-campus apartment was ready for move-in. (Not sure whether DS got together with his current GF already at that time.) DS said no and asked her to find a girl friend to stay with for those 2 weeks. He also said no when at one time she asked him to give her a ride after the breakup. DS wanted a clean break-up after he had found that she was romantically related with another newly met person during a short school break and then requested to have an open relationship (this is not what DS wants in a relationship.)
My wife later said the way DS handles things is wise, and thinks if DS let this happen, his current GF would likely never choose him as her BF. (At that time, they all lived in the same dorm and knew very well about everything happened in that not so large dorm.)
Apologies, but I fail to see what about the suggestion of the use of restricted status on Facebook has anything to do with an ex boyfriend saying no to an unrealistic request to stay in a dorm room by an ex- girlfriend. And that said, it’s hard to imagine that as a parent of an adult male child, I’d have the degree of detail about decisions either of my s’s made about ex girlfriends that some parents seem to have.
I do not have a Facebook account (and have no intention to use this “silly thing” called Facebook) and do not know that the restricted access refers to a setting on the Facebook account.
She had, arguably speaking, not achieved the GF status yet due to their very short time together even though I kind of mistakenly labelled her as ex-GF.
The posts about unfriending, putting the person on restricted status and being unable to see posts on their page are all discussions of interacting with Facebook. And if the girl was not even a girlfriend, asking to stay in his room for 2 weeks is creepy.
And that “silly thing” called Facebook provides employment, with good excellent salaries and benefits, to many people in your neck of the woods. And in this painful stock market, it happens to be a decent stock to have in one’s portfolio. Not"silly" at all, especially to the 1.4 billion monthly users. But this is getting a bit off topic.
I read the posts about “unfriend”, “restricted”, etc., on the previous page. It was indeed in the context of Facebook, which I failed to notice before.
It may be a sign of my aging that both of us do not use FB at all. My wife used to create a FB account in order to do something at that time and very soon close her FB account. When she closed her account, the reason she gave: “nobody I could Facebook with.” We are THAT anti-social.
It is not that I am particularly bad at Facebook account setup. For example, I was able to set up Alexa account on two computer platforms with a limited documentation which Amazon opens their “reference implementation” to outside engineers (I was even digging into their published Java code when I ran into a hiccup when I tried out the setup.) But I just lack any motivation of using a FB account for some unknown reason.
No matter- let’s keep this thread on topic- about a kid’s breakup. It’s not about parents being on Facebook or not or skills at getting on other technology platforms. PLEASE let’s stay on topic.
Maybe I am odd , but I remained FB friends with my daughter’s exes. The one who had a big break up last Christmas unfriended her , but not me or her sisters. FWIW, he rarely goes there. I had contemplated getting in touch but didn’t do it. We shall see how it plays out with the younger daughter’s on again/ off again…his mom is friend with our daughter and frequently comments or likes her statuses. I think that is because she loves her and wants them to go back to where they were
We secretly hope our kid would not break up with his current GF. But we are fully aware that we have no say in their decision at all. It will be a pity if they break up after both of them have “invested” so much into their relationship. It is years of their youth.
For those of you whose S/D have been deeper into the relationship, how do you (kind of) know that their relationship has become solid enough so that it is unlikely they may break up? Are there any signs that potentially show that this relationship will be “the one”?
Personally, I kept my nose out of it, supported our son(s) and let them tell us when it was moving to the next step. Really- R-E-L-A-X.
Our oldest got engaged about 6 months ago. She went to college with him , but it wasn’t until she moved back to their city that they dated. he was different than the rest of the guys…their love was equal , if that makes sense. Before, she was either more dominant or felt the need to fix the broken guys. He shares her life goals and sense of humor. They adore each other , compliment each other and get along splendidly with each other and also friends and family. I can’t imagine a better guy for her than him in any way
D2 just broke up with her SO this week… I haven’t met the SO, but from what I can tell after talking to D2, the SO is heartbroken. 
D2 feels bad, and that makes me feel bad.
Well, if you go to the Say It Here thread, you’ll see that ds2 is on the cusp of getting back together with gf2. I think it’s a mistake, but what’s a mom to do? Say nothing, that’s what. ~X(
So sorry, intparent and YDS. When older s broke up with previous gf, many years ago, we breathed a big sigh of relief. Now he is married to a fabulous woman and they are perfect for each other!
She’s not bad for him; I just don’t think that she’s right for him and that they will break up again eventually so what’s the point? But some things you’ve got to learn on your own. I wish her parents would quit wining and dining him and treating him so well.
So they should treat him like dog food?? LOL :).
Frankly, when s broke up with previous gf, we breathed a big sigh of relief also. It seems to have too much drama for such a short period of dating.
On the other hand, we hope the current relationship will be a successful one, but we have no say on it. Sometimes it may not be good for us to be emotionally attached to it. It is still too soon. But somehow we could not help it even though we are fully aware that it may not be wise to do so.
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I do not think that, in DS’s case, her parents will never wining and dining him until they are married. This is my wild guess only. Some evidence though: When they came and had a tour in many states after they had been together for quite some time, they would not include DS in their tour (even though it was not a large group and DS could help share the driving if they invited him to go together. It just ain’t going to happen. One of her parent might be visiting again soon; not sure whether it would be the same as last time. The young couple sort of mentally prepared themselves that they will not be able to see each other when her parent visits, no matter how many days/weeks.)
You said above she (the previous creepy one) wasn’t a girlfriend 8-|
Mcat, you masticate on this over and over and over and over. It must be crazy-making. Let it be. Assume she’s not the one until she is, or she is the one until she isn’t. Either way, ruminating about it won’t change a thing. This thread is about children’s breakups. Not about your kid’s potential inlaws behavior with meals or what have you. Please don’t hijack this thread.,