<p>My Mom died a week ago and we are planning her memorial service. How does one figure out how to have the right amount of food for a reception after the service? We are having it on the Friday after Thanksgiving.</p>
<p>So sorry bethie, but let me say my mom’s memorial was very positive for me and my family. Invite people who loved her to speak. Knowing that my mom was loved by many made her passing easier.</p>
<p>On the food question, too much is better than too little. You guess and then add 20%.</p>
<p>Have never had to deal with food prep for this type of gathering, so I can’t help with advice…but just wanted to say how sorry I am for your loss</p>
<p>bethie, is the service in a church? If so you might ask one of the women in the Church office/fellowship group for an idea of how much food. Or if it is not in a church just give a local church office a call and ask them. You may even get an offer to help with the serving, set-up, etc.</p>
<p>Bethie, I’m sorry to hear about your mother’s death. I hope the happy memories of her will comfort you during your grief. We recently lost my father-in-law and people just started showing up with all kinds of food. My husband’s aunt brought a lot of bbq, cole slaw and beans and, with all the other food that had been brought to the house, we had more than enough to feed everyone who came to the house after the service. There are so many other things you have to concern yourself with, hopefully your friends and extended family members will take care of the food, set-up, and clean-up for you. Again, I’m sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>Sorry for your loss, bethievt.</p>
<p>Oh bethievt - So sorry to hear about your mom.
Do you have ANY idea how many people will be attending? Certainly, you can start with the immediate family, close friends. Was mom elderly or did she have a large circle of friends herself. In any event, I don’t think people expect to be fed in any huge amount. Sandwiches are simple and good. Couple of salads, coffee and cookies. All can eaten over the weekend as leftovers.</p>
<p>i am sorry to hear of your loss. We had my father’s memorial gathering on the Friday after Thanksgiving several years ago. It was held at his home, where he and my mother had lived for decades (she had died several years earlier). People came in response to a notice in the local paper and word of mouth (it was a small town, and a lot of neighbors and former students remembered him and came). </p>
<p>I ordered sandwiches and cookies (maybe a fruit and cheese plate too–can’t remember) from a local catering place and I guess I just figured out about how many people could comfortably fit in the living room and dining room, hoped that was the number that would show up, and put the quantity in the hands of the caterer. I picked up some soda and bottled water at the supermarket and put that out with paper cups. Leftover bottles are easy to use later.People helped themselves from the table in the dining room and talked; then we had some formal speeches and it was all very low-key and warm. Sad as the occasion was, it was a good event. The house looked beautiful, polished and shining again after several years of sadness and illness, and it was very good to see it the way it had been when my parents were alive and active. It was, for our family, the best way to remember not just my father but also my mother and to recall all the people who had enjoyed each other’s company there over the years. I hope you will find the same comfort in your mother’s memorial service.</p>
<p>So sorry and thoughts are with your family.</p>
<p>If you have no idea, how about having something that you could freeze leftovers - like a sliced ham or turkey, bread for sandwiches (or those mini slider buns out right now), a couple of salads or fruit and cookies or pie for dessert (that you could freeze afterwards). </p>
<p>If that is not fancy enough, maybe some trays of ready made/ready to bake lasagna (meat and / or veggie) and rolls, fruit salad and again cookies/pies for dessert.</p>
<p>The point would be to serve something that could be saved if you had way too much.</p>
<p>bethie, I am so sorry to hear of the loss of your beloved mother. It’s really difficult and sad. When my mom died two years ago, we estimated how many people we thought would attend the “reception” after the funeral which we held at my parents’ home (my dad died before my mom). We ordered catered platters. I’m Jewish and so the platters are traditional ones for such occasions…bagels, lox, fishes, and various side things. We set up a buffet as people stopped by the house at various times (some right after the funeral and some later in the evening and subsequent evenings for shiva calls. In addition to the catered platters and pick up desert type food, and beverages, some people also brought food. There was always plenty. I recently went to my aunt’s funeral and reception back at her home and my cousins did the same thing with catered platters and pick up deserts and drinks and there was more than enough and again, had to last a few days due to shiva calls. Try to figure on your relatives and any friends of your parents or if any of your own friends may attend and be generous in the amounts. Again, some may bring food that also fills it all out.</p>
<p>Sending you warm sympathy.</p>
<p>You guys are the best! It will be at a local church and volunteers will help serve. It’s just hard to figure amounts. In my family, we always had too much rather than not enough. These are really helpful suggestions. She was the best Mom and Gramma possible.</p>
<p>Thanks soozie and all of you–I wll say my Mom was 86 and had a great life. There are many sadder things, but right now this is my sad thing.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry to hear about the loss of your mom, bethievt. It’s such a difficult time. It’s good to have so much love to remember.</p>
<p>You mention the memorial service is at a church. Several of my friends are on what they call the “God Squad” at their church - they take care of all the receptions after funerals and memorial services (serving, cleaning up, etc.). If your church has a volunteer committee like this one, they may be able to help you estimate. Our local Wegmans puts together meals to go for memorial receptions; if you have a similar full-service grocery store, they also may be able to give you an idea.</p>
<p>bethievt, I’m sorry to hear about your mom. My uncle died in September and we were similarly perplexed regarding the reception. We turned to our funeral director for help and he referred us to a nearby restaurant that handles many funeral luncheons. They did a great job of estimating numbers for us. We found that everyone went out of their way to be helpful, and that was a comfort.</p>
<p>bethievt,</p>
<p>So sorry for your loss.</p>
<p>I’m so sorry for your loss. I would suggest you call the person who will be preparing the food. We helped plan a memorial service and had a cold cut trays prepared by a local grocery/deli. The folks there were terrific and really did an excellent estimate for the amount of food needed. I’m sure someone like this will be helpful in your area (we found it helpful that they delivered right to the church hall too!!).</p>
<p>I’m so sorry about your mom. I would ask the women who help serve at the church for help in figuring out how much and where to go for the food. They’ve seen it all and know what works best. When my mother died, we had a luncheon at a local restaurant - a place she loved. I planned that all out-of-towners, relatives (even distant) and close friends would attend. This seemed to be an accurate gauge and we had plenty of food.</p>
<p>Bethievt, so very sorry for your loss. I can’t offer food advice (I break into a cold sweat trying to plan dinner for my own family), but I will offer my sympathy. My mom passed away this past spring, and I know how difficult it is.</p>
<p>Yes, the church people will help and they have a caterer they use, but they can’t be expected to figure out our family. Of course, neither can any of you!! But it is so comforting to hear from all of you and your ideas help so much.</p>
<p>bethievt</p>
<p>I am so, so sorry to hear of your loss. </p>
<p>I don’t know about the food but wanted to share what we did for my mom and dads memorial. More aptly called a celebration of their lives. We scanned and copied pictures of them with their friends and family and other shots of them at important events in their lives. We then scattered about 10 pictures in the middle of every table, every table had different pics. Spurred by the pictures people talked about the pictures and the memories they evoked and then wandered from table to table to see other pictures. This ended up helping everyone mingle together. At the end of the memorial people were free to take the copies they wanted.</p>
<p>Sending strength and warm thoughts your way as you deal with the loss of your terrific mom.</p>