@sunnyschool forgot to add…I appreciate the book recommendation, how much does it cost?
@LBad96 you need to transfer for the right reasons. If you don’t like your current school, are not doing well and have no friends, then that would be a good reason to transfer… But I don’t get the impression that all of these things are happening. If you transfer to UB or Temple you need to understand that keeping your GPA up will not be any easier. Additionally, finding a friend group may not be so easy as a junior, although people do it. And- should you be unhappy you can’t just pick up and leave again.
Talk to your counselor. I suppose if you want to fill out the apps you can and then make a decision once you hear back. Just remember that your problems and social issues will be transferring with you- they will not disappear. You need to continue with therapy in order to make some very real changes.
I can’t help you with all of the MBA and business school talk- sorry! I do like the idea of ballroom dancing!
Transferring for someone who’s socially awkward would be a nightmare: most students would be moving off campus junior year, rooming with friends they made fr/soph year.
For example, unless you can get into Temple Honors, you can’t live on campus, and you’d have to find an apartement by yourself without a group of friends with ready-found roommates.
It’d be really hard to make friends.
If you really want to transfer, what about NCSU Business? Or TCNJ Business? But the social aspects would still remain.
I think you’re way better off staying put and doing your best at UNCW.
I agree that transferring junior year for a student with social issues would be a nightmare. The social issues would travel with him and making friends would be difficult. There is also the housing dilemma.
@LBad96 these are things to think about.
@LBad96 color me very confused as to the bottom line of why you want to transfer. Would you mind indulging me with 1 sentence (not a paragraph) on why you want to leave UNCW - in other words very concise. And if you’re so inclined, another 1 sentence explanation of what you are looking for in a new school that you don’t have at UNCW? I think that would help us all give comments and info that speak directly to your particular situation and are more helpful than general comments.
Good luck
I think you need to plan on staying where you are for now. Your posts on CC indicate that you love your school and you have friends. Second guessing what they really think of you when your back is turned is something to explore with your counselor. If you allow yourself to mentally separate from your school because you think Temple or UB would be better fits, it will be difficult to remain completely engaged at your current school and that might have a negative impact on your grades.
I get the impression from your posts that you want to leave before your parents make you transfer. It doesn’t hurt to explore other options, but your choices will depend on what your family can afford. How many siblings do you have and how much can your parents pay for each of you per year without borrowing? The SUNYs cost ~$30k/year for OOS students. Can they pay that? If your parents are borrowing to pay for your education they may run into trouble paying for younger siblings, so you need to take that into account.
@MYOS1634 @twogirls Well yeah, all that isn’t really happening. But I’m not looking at UB anymore (WAY too cold/snowy for me). I am more interested in Temple than anything, and then I guess Rowan as a distant backup. I’m not exactly convinced that NCSU’s business school is any better than UNCW’s, and I’m honestly not really a fan of TCNJ personally (good school, but I find it sorta overrated academically and the atmosphere a bit snobby for my tastes). But can you really not live on-campus at Temple unless you’re in the Honors College? Living off-campus as a transfer junior would be borderline insane, honestly. Especially in West Philly. And like I said, I’m an awkward extrovert; LOVE talking to people and making friends and deriving energy from social interaction, but reading cues isn’t my strongest attribute unfortunately. And I’m super anxious of what girls think of me (especially when they, for example, deny my FB friend request despite having met and talked to me a few times). Though, I do sorta tend to agree with you.
@JustGraduate I kinda want to leave UNCW because of a reputation that, while having gotten MUCH smaller since (especially due to a jump from 1900 to 15k student body), has sorta followed me since high school. What another school would give me is another chance at a fresh start, and to finally put the rep behind me for good at age 20/21.
@austinmshauri I do sorta tend to agree with you there as well. I have two siblings - a sister who’s a junior and a brother who’s a freshman. Yes, we have had to borrow a bit to pay for my education. NJ publics cost about the same IN-STATE as SUNY schools OOS overall, which is completely nonsensical to me. It’s also a part of the reason that NJ will continue to constantly hemorrhage decent to top talent to other states such as PA, NY, NC, VA, FL, etc.
Actually just had my second counseling appt a little bit ago. I briefly mentioned a desire to at least apply to transfer because of my social worries/issues, and then we delved into the basis of those issues. I did have to dig up some of the more painful aspects of my past…but I think it helped. We’re trying to attack my fear of a lack of unconditional social acceptance, which does cause me to not really want to fully be myself around people (especially girls) for fear of them not wanting to communicate with me anymore. And then if they do disconnect (i.e. denying my friend request, deleting or even blocking me in rather extreme cases) then I REALLY want to save face/fix it, but am deterred by the advice of friends. “Apologizing would make it worse”, they say. And then I have issues with rumors which ALMOST cost me my fraternity bid.
Really looking forward to hopefully eliminating this problem once and for all this semester.
@LBad96 How did a “reputation” follow you from high school to college 4 states away?
I think you need to stop worrying about girls. They can be unpredictable!
And that is what is unhealthy about social media. Can you stay off it and focus on studies?
Seriously…studies first and then you will have limited time for all this other crap…and that is when the nice girl will be sitting next to you in class. OR it may be after college when you meet the girl, and that is FINE too!!! There is no rush!
@Chardo okay, let me rephrase that. “Follow” is not the correct term to use, especially because I was the only one of my HS class to come here (and I cannot emphasize enough how happy I am that it turned out that way). The term I should’ve used was, “resurface”. The rep resurfaced here, though it was actually rather worse in high school (people legit thought I had HFA, which I was never diagnosed with and I don’t believe I have).
@sunnyschool I totally agree with you, but that is easier said than done with social anxiety. Though I was recently off Facebook for a week (due to that incident). Maybe it’ll happen when I finally begin my major. I’m fine with waiting till after college to find my future wife (though I’d sorta prefer my future kids to be double legacies), but I definitely would rather NOT wait till then to actually start dating. Huge chance in college to get at least some decent dating experience in, and I’d honestly hate for that to pass me by.
If you’re interested in dating - Ballroom dancing FTW 
Cooking should be a piece if cake since you’ve already taken two years if culinary arts.
And bam, you turn into TheAmazing LGoodBF96.
@MYOS1634 I’m surprised you remembered that I took cooking classes in my freshman and senior years of high school! I actually forgot about that tbh lol.
Let’s hope ballroom dancing isn’t too unkind to a student budget!
@LBad96 I hate to say this but IMO I think you are overthinking it. Just study. The rest will come.
But academics should be the top priority, not all these distractions. A person can parse things to death and miss what matters most. The social is the icing, not the reason you’re in debt. The education is the reason you’re there. Think clearly.
The “well, but…” just gets in the way. Well but I have a B avg, well but I want to join this club or get FB accepts or get approval. Well but maybe a different college.
I get it, lbad, that you want the social successes, too. But all this, at least on this thread, is robbing you from focus. Meanwhile, the axe over your head is the academics.
@lookingforward and I’m going to have to tell my parents to let go of the axe and drop the requirement so they can just let me enjoy myself. Tired of having to just live with it over my head.
Agree your parents need to drop the requirement - BUT you need to do your best with academics.
Stop worrying about the social stuff. Just be a good student.
“…just let me enjoy myself.” That’s not focus or respect for the costs. It’s not so mature, even. You could enjoy yourself without college.
What if they call your bluff? Ok, son, do it your way. What if they let you take control, down to paying your own way? You aren’t even independent for fin aid purposes.
Yoy keep saying, “If only.” If only they would let you enjoy yourself. What if they tell their friends, if only lbad would focus more on school and less on social, fun, all the misc, while missing the target and ignoring the expenses?
You can commit. But it means focusing on the priority goals.
Btw, a few years ago, we had a long thread about parent expectations for grades. Plenty of respected parent posters said they told their kids what yours told you. Meet our expectations or we cannot support this 4 year voyage. I was astounded.
@LBad96 I think you should stay put, focus on your academics, and continue with therapy. I am hearing all kinds of talk about girls, socializing, transferring, reputations, etc… I don’t think transferring is the answer right now- but that’s up to you, your parents, and your therapist. To be honest with you, I am not entirely sure why you are looking to transfer - except maybe to escape an unpleasant social situation which is likely temporary. Or maybe you want to leave before your parents force the issue?
You are not at school just to enjoy yourself- you need to do well academically. You need to promise your parents that academics are important, you will work hard, and that their money is well spent. You do- however- also need a social life- the word is " balance."
Have you truly learned enough about yourself to transfer to another U and not have the same social issues resurface, albeit it in a potentially lesser form (as it has at UNCW)?
And how in the world do you make the argument for transfer to your parents, whose $ contribution you need? Hey mom and dad - you know that school I’m at that I LOVED a month ago and fought you to let me stay because it was the best and only place I could learn and grow? Well uh now I’m ready to try another school - ok? I can tell you if you came to me with that argument, I’d bring you home at the end of the semester or sooner, find a good local counselor, and probably say I wouldn’t pay any more for school until I was convinced you are at peace with yourself. I would do that not for putative reasons but because I’d interpret your desire to transfer - so soon after declaring you were at the best place on earth - to be a cry for help that I needed to respond to. I would want the absolute best for you and would do what I thought was necessary to help you reach that. And that would not include going along with a transfer to Temple, and maybe not paying for UNCW any more. But maybe that’s just me…
I’m sorry - again, I’m rooting for you but you seem to be casting around for solutions without fixing the root cause. You’re making progress getting there, don’t let yourself get distracted and off track along the way.