<p>Can’t agree more with JHS. I wish proms would encourage people to come as a group, not this 1:1 artificial grouping.</p>
<p>^^That sounds nice, but my HS does not let you go as a group. You have to go as a couple…most of the local high schools are like that. One boy takes one girl…no other combo is allowed to go to Prom.</p>
<p>^Yes, but if you know kids as part of a group, you can still pair up, just to satisfy the HS. That’s what my son did.</p>
<p>My daughter is going with a group of 18 and none of them date each other. They are just going to have fun and are basically “paired up” to satisfy the HS and for pictures.</p>
<p>Wow, reading this made me feel a whole lot better about myself. I tend to do well at school and I wouldn’t call myself ugly but I didnt get asked to prom and guys never seem to express interest in me. My mom and my older girl cousins all say its because guys are intimidated, but I’m inclined not to believe them. What makes it harder is when people make comments to my parents like, “oh you must be fighting those boys off etc.” because it makes me feel like something is wrong with me since no one asks me out. But I guess I’m not the only one. Hopefully I’ll find my soul mate in college.</p>
<p>" One boy takes one girl."</p>
<p>In Michigan the LBGTs are armed and not afraid of going back to prison. We let them do things their way.</p>
<p>I didn’t go to my prom either (honestly, I doubt more than half of our class does, it’s not that popular here), but I don’t think “One boy - One girl” would work here.</p>
<p>^^No one’s ever challenged it. I live in a VERY conservative town(I’m a raging liberal) and we don’t have many “out” kids</p>
<p>Oh, this brings back memories. I was one of those girls…valedictorian, pretty, but never dated in hs and didn’t get asked to the prom. I felt bad, but the really bad part was that my parents were so “embarassed” that I didn’t get asked to the prom that they both lied at work and told their colleagues that I was going! And then told me about it! Jeesh, not a good parenting moment. Anyway, as soon as I got to college, it all changed…had a boyfriend within a month, and lots of dates later. I think the boys just have to grow up.</p>
<p>I did not read through all the posts, but one year ago, I could have written your post. The good news: it gets better in college. DD has her first boyfriend and has enjoyed a wonderful social life in college this year.</p>
<p>^^^^ But exactly, kierans… dating in high school is: girl digs hole, boy bumbling across campus falls in. Voila, it’s a date! If the girl is too shy or busy to dig the hole, the boy can’t fall in, and no date. </p>
<p>We have lots of girl-girl dates and I don’t think it occurs to anyone that there’s a romantic element there. But, as has been true down through the years (ask Doris Day!) a gay guy will be the best-dressed, most attentive date, and the coolest dancer. There was a young man here who had a date for every prom within a hundred mile radius, 2 years in a row. I only wish he hadn’t gone off to college so D could go to prom with him.</p>
<p>My D is going to prom tomorrow, with a “platonic” friend, and frankly I think it’s better that way versus in my day, where it had to be a Big Important Relationship.</p>
<p>The school also has buses transport them to downtown, where the prom will be, and then buses back (as well as a post-prom lake cruise for those so inclined). I am SO glad for this. I hate the whole prom-limo scene. It’s wasted money and it’s just an opportunity for the haves to rub it in the face of the have-nots for no reason whatsoever. And, since I’m not naive enough to pretend that there won’t be some alcohol somewhere, better all those kids are in a bus versus in their own cars.</p>
<p>Think about it this way. She saved you from spending a lot of money on an incredibly superficial event.</p>
<p>It’s hard to read these posts-many are so very sad. My D who is a senior is going to prom with a date but many of her girl friends who are attractive, bright and all around great kids don’t have dates–some are going anyway as part of the group. I think the problem is with the boys who, as has been said, are too shy (too dumb in my opinion) to take a chance and ask the girl(s) out. That will change as everyone gets older but for now the challenge is to keep your daughter’s spirits up. I wish you well; she sounds great.</p>
<p>I believe this is a sexist society where boys are expected to ask girls out. If you want a date girls go find a boy and ask him out. You can’t blame boys for being too shy when you don’t have a date. It’s your fault you’re just sitting there waiting for something to happen.</p>
<p>As a scientist, you can’t do the same thing and expect different results.</p>
<p>I’m too shy to ask any girl to prom. I went as a sophomore when none of my friends went, but not as a junior or senior when all of my friends went. I’m so lame. I’m definitely one of those boys you parents are talking about - too shy and dumb and emotionally fragile to ask any girl to prom. Hopefully college changes things. I think it will.</p>
<p>“hand raised, jumping up and down” 17 year old boys are lame.</p>
<p>I know because there is one living in my house. The ONLY reason he went to the prom is because girls in his “group” decided he was going, who he was asking and how he was going to ask her. There were 9 couples that went and they had a great time. I joked with the other moms at picture hour that I was thrilled that S did as he was told. He would have never done it on his own - and his date was a cutie!</p>
<p>I do agree with Masterfox that she should not hesitate to initiate a date. It by no means is the end of the world, but if she wants to go, she can do the asking. Is there a boy outside her school that she is friends with?</p>
<p>I was feeling badly that my son wasn’t going to prom, he’s a good student and athlete and has lots of friends, both girls and guys, but never has had a girlfriend, but he said he decided he didnt want to spend all that money on prom “to just dance for a couple of hours” … i don’t know it it was because he was uncomfortable asking someone or what but I figure that when he’s ready he’ll get there snd maybe he has a point sabout not spending all that money!!!</p>
<p>Things will change. I was the same way in high school- mostly because I wouldn’t want to have anything to do with most of the guys in my high school even if they were the last man on Earth. I didn’t even want to go to prom until I decided to go with friends, and I had a great time! She still has her whole life, and more than likely you trying to get her involved or setting her up will just embarrass her.</p>
<p>Thanks for all the posts, it makes me feel better. If I wasn’t so afraid of her being angry at me for posting in the first place, I’d have her read some of them, but she would be mortified if she knew. (thank god for personal computers!!) I especially like the posts from the kids who say they can relate. I think she is just an “old soul” and will hopefully find her self in college as well as be around older more mature boys. (Hopefully!!) At our school the prom bid must be purchased by the wed before the sat night prom. The name of your date must be given when purchased and if the date goes to another school, all his info must be provided as well, so unfortunately last minute dates don’t work too well. They also make a big thing out of it, limos, pre-parties, the works. All said and done you’re looking at around $500 for the night which I told her I could spend on dresses or whatever for sorority rush instead 
Give her something to look forward to! We’ll just have to think of something fun to do next Saturday to take her mind off it!</p>
<p>ucmomhopeful, are any of her other friends not going to Prom? I didn’t go to my junior prom, instead a group of 5 girls went out to a nice dinner (we felt really grown up) and then had a sleepover. </p>
<p>My other suggestion is that she ask someone. Maybe a junior guy, in one of her classes? They’re usually excited to be invited to a Senior event.</p>
<p>Drought… you’re not lame. You’re just shy. Sometimes we girls forget how hard it is for boys to risk rejection. My son screwed up his courage to ask a girl to his Senior dance. It took him until the Friday afternoon before a weeklong break to ask her. She replied, “I’m not sure. I’ll let you know.” So he had discomfort of wondering for a week, before she finally turned him down! Lucky for him, this was a dance where a large number of kids went without dates, in groups. The girl told him she had been planning to go with a group of her girlfriends, and in the end she decided to stick with that plan, but that’s why she had to “think about it.” He did go with a group of guys and I think they all had fun.</p>