<p>I don’t mean to be mean, but a kid who can’t write a solid essay on his own – who can’t write better than a solid essay on his own – isn’t going to be seen as a “superstar” anywhere. He may be admitted (not likely as a transfer), but he is guaranteed to be a marginal case.</p>
<p>One question that interests me is how a student could be a top student in high school and really not be capable of writing strong admissions essays. That seems to happen a lot; it’s not an isolated phenomenon. It’s a huge failure on the part of high schools – both to teach something important, and to communicate to students that this is something that affects their success,</p>
<p>My son’s best friend wrote the most horrendous, unreadable essays for college ever. Even with counselor and English teacher, and paid help, they were bad, actually worse as you could see the factions fighting within the essays. His mom showed them to me and since I’ve known him as a little kid, and begged me to help… I put up the white flag and said to get the originals, correct some syntax and grammar and misspellings and let them go. I wasn’t about to even try to correct those things. I had trouble even reading them. He graduated from Harvard this spring. I really doubt those essays got him in there, and his school is not one that gets more than a few kids to HPY like schools each year, and he was not what anyone considered a shoo in though a definite possible. So, go figure.</p>
<p>HarvestMoon, I think the ED rejection was definitely because of the essay. As I wrote earlier, it absolutely came across as insincere and would have been potentially off-putting to some who might have read it. The essays did get better and sound more from the heart as time went on, but still did not produce the results the family was expecting.</p>
<p>JHS, I think a lot of kids (like this boy) are told they are fantastic writers, but they lack discipline and substitute big words and stories for concrete, well-articulated thoughts.</p>
<p>Sure. I tell ‘em all the same thing. Get a teacher or friend or proof read for grammatical errors and sentences that make no sense. I don’t do essays, and I have an in box here I empty that gets requests to read student essays over all of the time. I can honestly say, I have no idea how to judge, write or correct an essay to enhance its appeal to admissions. My son got accepted to an ivy with an essay that was deemed unacceptable by very experienced counselors at a school that is used to kids applying to highly selective schools and I agreed with them. It was a well written term paper that told you nothing about the writer, and the whole purpose of the essay is to bring out the personal side of the applicant. He actually got a friggin’ accolade from the admissions officer on it. A lot of it comes down to the dumb luck that comes from getting the right match of the reader of your essay. If you are the 200th essay about running, that someone who hates her runner ex husband who happens to feel about the same way that these essays position the highs of running,um… you are out of luck. The adcom might be generous and professional about the first 20 of them but they are human, you know. But if you get a reader who is an avid runner and your essay hits those sweet spots just right and no one else wrote about this in his batch of essays, you get a big fat 5 out 5 on your essay. </p>
<p>My kids’ essays were all lousy except for the second one’s batch that had to explain all of his infractions and “crimes” over the years. That was probably the most interesting reading those ad coms had all season after reading about how “great I am”.</p>
<p>Sally, if it’s any comfort, two of my kids had ED admissions with what I thought were horrible essays (or at least marginal/average at best). They were authentic, sounded like they were written by 17 year olds (they were), no big words or tortured syntax, no profound insights on the state of the universe but they were clearly written by teenagers and revealed something authentic (warts and all).</p>
<p>So yes, the essay could have turned off an adcom if it sounded like too much polishing- but I also think the strength of many an applicant is diluted with random “Honor Society”, 10 volunteer projects, and a host of clubs. These kids come off as dilettantes- and not as “Renaissance Man/Woman” as many a clueless guidance counselor may think. I think a kid with 2 or three strong interests and sustained commitments does better- particularly in ED- when the adcom’s don’t need to “reach” deep into the applicant pool to cover off the Oboe player, the poet, the chess master, and the Intel semi-finalist/Science Olympiad contender.</p>
<p>Assuming the ED pool is reasonably homogeneous with regard to scores and grades and teacher rec’s- really, it’s finding the kids with very strong outside the classroom identities that is a clue to the Adcom’s about who to admit. Do you want the kid who will end up as Editor in Chief of the college newspaper or head of the political union or champion debate team… or the kid who will put in an hour or two every semester at a dozen random college activities? And maybe not get seated in the college chamber orchestra because he/she won’t devote the time to rehearsals?</p>
<p>I’d go with the kid who has shown sustained commitment if it were me…</p>
<p>These stats are good, but I’d also ask what are his college grades looking like? We are talking about a transfer here. If he hasn’t got sparkling college grades to go with his strong high school record then those selective colleges that rejected him before are going to want him even less this time.</p>
<p>As for how to advise him, I try not to be brutally honest with anybody, especially people I’m not responsible for. I’d say strive for gently honest.</p>
<p>“A professional counselor will spell it out for him and tell it like it is.”</p>
<p>Just what I was thinking. Transfer admissions are an uphill climb. Focusing on what you want to achieve at the next school, and not on the deficiencies of the first, is a big issue. But the #1 question is, what were his grades this fall, and in what slate of courses?</p>
<p>Among elite private schools, Penn and Cornell, as well as Northwestern and USC, have very robust transfer programs. Most state flagships do as well. If money’s not an issue, and he can get into a flagship honors program, that may be a better fit for him.</p>
<p>Just what I was thinking. When looking at transfer apps, schools are going to care what he’s taken advantage of and what he’s achieved in college, and not be as focused on what he did in HS.</p>
<p>He participated in a variety of HS activities, but what activities has he been involved in since being in college, he got good HS grades and test scores, but has he kept up that achievement. Is he a better applicant now than he was a year ago or since he’s been unhappy in his current environment has he lost his motivation which will make his apps even less attractive than they were a year ago.</p>
<p>As for essay writing, my son is extremely bright and can grasp concepts in math or science quicker than anyone else I’ve met, but he CAN NOT write. I’ve read essays and papers he’s written and they are very disorganized and bounce back and forth between topics. He has little grasp on what should constitute a paragraph and will say that he has no idea how to write introduction or conclusion paragraphs because he’s never been taught. I generally read his writing, try to figure out what he was trying to say, design him an outline based on what I think his points were, and send him back to rewrite based on the outline. But he has always been a very high achieving student, including in subjects like English and history that rely on essays and papers. I often wonder if the teachers actually read his papers, or if they just assume he’s a good student, so obviously he deserves a good grade.</p>
<p>@JHS - “It’s a huge failure on the part of high schools – both to teach something important, and to communicate to students that this is something that affects their success” - YES!</p>
<p>Obviously, the high school English and history teachers in that school are not doing their job if he can write barely readable papers and still get high grades. Although the writing style of articles about math and science can be very different from articles about literature and history (and either can differ if the audience comes from others in the field versus the general public), being able to write clearly is important in all fields (that said, writing in the context of subjects other than literature seems to be unemphasized in most high schools and colleges, so students may not get as much instruction as desirable on writing about other subjects).</p>
<p>I’m with those hoping he has excellent college grades – that will make a difference. Best of luck to him. I have one kid who probably should have transferred after one year. She stuck it out, had some good reasons to do so, and got a good education, but I think she would have been happier elsewhere. I transferred after one year, back in the day. </p>
<p>I know a kid who transferred into a highly selective MT program (UMich) after one year elsewhere. He was rejected the first time around, but whatever he did that first year of school was enough to get him in the second time around. If that first year helps the kid to focus on what really matters to him, and that comes through in his application, I think that will help. Along with excellent grades, of course.</p>
<p>I would have the student begin by writing a “Why School X” essay for each school he intends to apply to. If he can’t come up with solid reasons other than the prestige, it probably shouldn’t be on his list. Once he has written a series of such essays, it would be easier to make an overall assessment of what his true criteria are and perhaps suggest similar colleges that are not as competitive to round out the application portfolio.</p>
<p>To answer the question about college grades, I think he is off to a reasonable start–maybe half As and half Bs. Or three As and one B. I believe there is a B.</p>
<p>I love the idea of a “Why X?” statement for each college being considered. If nothing else it will help him make all of his applications more strategic and targeted to each school.</p>
<p>I would really feel obligated to be honest with the parents and the kid at this point. Tell them you really feel he does not have a good chance of admission to any of the schools he is applying to as a transfer given last year’s situation, and that you don’t feel comfortable helping with this round of applications. Then don’t do it. Really, you are just setting yourself up to be blamed if he fails, which sounds highly likely. If they ask for a list of more reasonable schools, and agree that he should apply to them, then maybe I would agree to help. But this is not set up as a scenario for success for the student or for you. :(</p>
<p>Why “school X” is more of what you could bring to school X, not what they could do for a student because they already know the answer, especially at highly competitive schools.</p>