<p>Consolation: Golden Retriever of Greater Los Angeles is a wonderful organization. We got our “baby” (she is now 13ish). A week after we adopted her I was diagnosed with cancer. She was new to our house and family. She (and our old man now almost fifteen) stood guard for me all day…for months. This is why she is family…forever.</p>
<p>As a pastor, I have ministered to several mothers over the years as they gave their babies up for adoption. It takes A LOT of love to do that - to recognize that someone else can better care for the child than they can, and to experience the great pain and loss as they hand over the child.</p>
<p>It is often in the best interest of THE PET to surrender it. In this case, Stan has lost the companionship that he used to have, is home alone a great deal, and often boarded out to a family that loves him. He is excited to go to the boarding home and bonds well with the family with which he boards. </p>
<p>Do you people who are beating up on the OP want the dog lonely and bored, or happy and around a pack of people who can play with him and interact with him? GEESH!!! Let her love the dog enough to do the right thing by him.</p>
<p>Yes, dogs get attached to their owners. But they can grow new attachments. Yes, an owner has responsibilities to the animals they adopt - but life situations change. She has the responsibility to do what is best for the dog - and in this case, that can very well mean giving him to a loving family instead of keeping him cooped up and bored.</p>
<p>Thank you, @KKmama! You’ve expressed my circumstance very well and very even-handedly. </p>
<p>OP- While I hope it works out for you, Please remember that since the mom is a stay-at-home mom it’s possible that the family may count on making money boarding a dog. If they adopt your dog it is not only going to take away income it’s going to them cost money to take care of Stan. I kind of feel bad for them because they obviously like your dog but still it’s got to be kind of an awkward position for them to be in.</p>
<p>KKmama, your church is lucky to have you. </p>
<p>How many of these people whose parents ‘gave away’ the dogs in the 50’s and 60’s were helping with the pet care, the bills, the exercise? I think there are many cases where the kids begs for pets, promised to care for them, and then didn’t. I know that’s how it was in our house. My mother was stuck with a lot of the work, and she never wanted the dogs (she did want the cats). Even now, at almost 80, my brother’s dog is always at her house (she lives across the street) and it is hard for her to lug that big fat bulldog around, to get up at 4 am for an icy cold pit stop.</p>
<p>My kids have never gotten to have a dog (other than the ones at my brother’s) because I do love pets and I’m just not home enough to take care of the dog. Like Stan, any dog I had would be alone a lot. One time when my kids were begging for a dog, I asked if they were willing to give up overnights, to come right home from school every day to care for the dog, to cancel summer vacations and camps. Big pause. They thought I could do all that. </p>
<p>My sister got a ‘puppy’ from the shelter, that had been brought in by an elderly couple. The dog was double the weight she should have been because no one walked the dog. It was better for the dog to be re-homed. It was not better to keep the dog in a bad situation.</p>
<p>OP, you need to do what is best for yourself and the dog. Your children aren’t interested in helping you and therefore aren’t interested in the dog. Find a good placement, either on your own or through animal rescue.</p>
<p>acollegestudent…your whole post was to call OP an irresponsible crybaby which is why I put the two together. And calling someone irresponsible is a matter of opinion and you did it in a such a way to suggest you and people like you are superior and OP is inferior. That’s name calling to me.</p>
<p>By the way, I laughed at your bluntness. Child, I have been around this world too long to have a college student bother me with bluntness. Know how I deal with someone who is blunt with me. I consider the source and the situation and when they are right, I tell them so.</p>
<p>BTW, releasing a domestic animal to the wild is a death sentence so we are not even on the same planet as the OP’s situation. </p>
<p>OP - I have a good friend who faced the same situation - found a family with children to adopt their dog - and it has worked out well for all involved. My friend had an empty nest and a dog who had severe anxiety when left alone. Friend was unhappy, dog was unhappy. Now dog is happily living with a family with several children - getting the love and attention he needed. As long as you can find a loving family to adopt your dog, I think it might be the best thing to do. I think it’s sad that you want to do this, but it might work out for the best for all involved, including the dog.</p>
<p>While I completely agree with you intellectually, twoinanddone, I do think it is important for the OP to realize that children can be very, very alienated by giving away their pet. Even when it is the right thing to do. Even when it is for a very rational and compelling reason. I think re-homing the dog is the best decision for the dog, but I think it important to be aware that by doing so the OP could potentially be jeopardizing her relationship with her children. Only she can assess the likelihood of that, but it is important to realize how scarred some kids feel.</p>
<p>Want to add that we had a wonderful rescue dog from 2008-2014 who added so much joy to our lives and I appreciate the decision of the family who gave him up. They were divorcing and having all sorts of turmoil and decided to give him up for adoption - lucky for us. If you can find a great home for Stan, then you have no reason to feel guilty.</p>
<p>Haven’t read the whole thread, but I completely understand both the OP’s position and the reactions people are having. I would just say please make sure you personally find the next home for the dog if you can’t keep him. And I say this as I sit with one of my rescued dogs, my little Chihuahua, on my lap. I love him dearly but I believe he is happier when I am out of town and he is with the lovely retired lady who lets him snuggle with her ALL DAY. With us, he spends a fair amount of time during the day in his crate, and I feel guilty about it. (I pay someone to walk him and my big dog at lunchtime when the kids aren’t around.) It is my love for him that leads me to think sometimes about possibly rehoming him, although I would be very sad. I could ONLY do it if a) I found the perfect situation for him b) I would have visiting rights and c) I could rescue another dog that perhaps was content with less attention during the day–say, another large-breed senior dog like I have now.</p>
<p>“Rent out a room to a dog lover.”</p>
<p>I don’t have a “side”, and I am only on page 1, but I have to say by D is renting a room from someone with a dog, and boy has it been a good thing for that dog! She walks him and is training him not to pull! This is NOT a puppy, and I am so impressed with her commitment to it. Good for her as well, because WE would not make a commitment to having one, so she never had one growing up. </p>
<p>“Rent out a room to a dog lover.”</p>
<p>It might be against the evil HOA’s rules. </p>
<p>Exactly as @BunsenBurner says. Evil HOA does not permit renting one’s rooms out, believe it or not. </p>
<p>I feel for you. You are not making the decision lightly, so whatever decision you make will be the right one for you and Stan. </p>
<p>We have a 17 year old Aussie. She is blind, deaf, arthritic and somewhat incontinent. She is on massive pain killers. We adopted her at 9 months, and while she has never been anything close to the perfect pet, she is beloved.</p>
<p>We will be euthanizing her soon. She isn’t happy - no little nub waving tail in the last six months or so. When DH and I work up the courage to make the phone call, she will be gone from our lives. WE are being selfish at this point, but we are basically wusses on the topic of letting her go.</p>
<p>You aren’t being selfish. Again, whatever decision you make is the right one for you and Stan. </p>
<p>Thank you, @missbwith2boys. You are in a sad and difficult time with your pup and my heart goes out to you. It is very difficult for us to let go of our dogs, regardless of the circumstance. </p>
<p>Twoinanddone I am glad you haven’t gotten a dog since you cannot properly care for one. That is the responsible thing to do :)</p>
<p>By the way, that’s why I like cats. They are great companions who are fine with their humans not being around all the time.</p>
<p>Ignoring the hardliners who have taken over the thread… OP, I have a question I didn’t see the answer to when I just looked over the thread (but may have missed it, so just say so if I did). You have four other kids besides the college student and London attorney, right? Do any of them live nearby, and could they “Stan-sit” while you are out of town? Or could any of them chip in smaller amounts of money to cover his care? You might send out a blanket email to all kids stating that (1) you need additional financial support to keep Stan, and (2) need anyone living nearby to step up and dogsit while you are out of town to save on boarding costs. Your family IS trying to “guilt” you, I would have no qualms if I were you about returning the favor.</p>
<p>I am still trying to wrap my brain around the profound attachment that London D has for Stan. Stan came to the family 2 years ago when older D was either in law school or already in London. Am I correct? This is not a situation where the dog has grown up with the family. Stan is a relatively new member. </p>
<p>Acollegestudent, you sound like an immature child who has never had to bear the burden of adult responsibilities. Sometimes life is not neat and tidy. And no, adults are not super heroes who swoop in and always save the day. They have needs of their own and sometimes pets and children do not trump those needs. We can’t take care of others if we haven’t taken care of ourselves first. Grow up.</p>
<p>I love both dogs and cats, but for our lifestyle, a cat works best. </p>
<p>We got a dog 8 years ago, against our better judgment, after a huge campaign by D2. It went as you can imagine, with the bulk of the care going to moi, who never wanted a second dog. Of course we have come to love him, but I had decided that after him, we would not get another dog and would probably stick with cats. </p>
<p>Recently D2 moved into a rental home we own in her college town. She lobbied relentlessly to let us have “her dog” with her now that she has a yard and a wonderful dog park within walking distance. I considered it very carefully and talked at length with her about how much is really involved with a dog when YOU ALONE are responsible. She has a busy school schedule and is a member of a sorority, so she also has obligations there, and of course, many social functions. She has agreed to give this a trial run, and if at any time she feels she is not giving the dog the attention he deserves, she will be honest and he will come back to our home. So far it’s gone fine, and she said he actually seems happier, since she walks him to the park daily and has many visitors, which provides him with more stimulation, interest, and attention than he gets here with just DH and me.</p>
<p>I am hopeful it will work out, but I am fully prepared to bring him back here if I suspect that his needs are not being met 100%. If nothing else, he is having a summer camp experience of sorts with his “other Mommy.”</p>
<p>ETA: I wrote at length about losing our BELOVED white lab in October. I cried for weeks and weeks and still miss her. Our Golden Doodle worshiped her. The family across the street from D2’s new house has a white lab who looks just like our dearly departed. When our doodle sees this dog (who hangs out in the front window), he CRIES and tries to drag D2 to the window-I think he believes this is our lab and is both overjoyed to see her and devastated that they are separated by the window. This just breaks my heart; D2 says it’s the hardest part of their daily walks. :(</p>